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Boyfreind saind he is not in love with me, but he is good to me and stayed, what should I do?


Trying again

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We have been together for 3 years. Everything was fine, we don't argue and no bad feelings. The only thing I complained is he is too busy with his work and his kids. I asked him spend more time with me. We basically meet on one day on weekends. He didn't change instead he broke up with me said he loved me but not in love with me. After one month we got back together after me pursued. Its been 6 month so far. Everything seems fine and he spends more time with me like twice a week. But he still said same thing to me last week after I asked him. He said he likes me and cares for me like a good friend. He will still be with me and will not cheat on me. I love him so much and cant image let him go. I do not want to walk away, what should I do?

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  • 1 month later...
We have been together for 3 years. Everything was fine, we don't argue and no bad feelings. The only thing I complained is he is too busy with his work and his kids. I asked him spend more time with me. We basically meet on one day on weekends. He didn't change instead he broke up with me said he loved me but not in love with me. After one month we got back together after me pursued. Its been 6 month so far. Everything seems fine and he spends more time with me like twice a week. But he still said same thing to me last week after I asked him. He said he likes me and cares for me like a good friend. He will still be with me and will not cheat on me. I love him so much and cant image let him go. I do not want to walk away, what should I do?
Being with someone that doesn't love you isn't good for your emotional well being. It will cause you more pain and hurt in the long run than just letting the other one go. You can't make someone love you like you deserve to be loved and you can't waste more time hoping he will. You both deserve better. You both will find someone that loves you they way you love them. Be brave and let go of something that isn't good for either of you.
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What chrissyh23 said. It is not good for your emotional well being. It will eat you up. And like SweetGirl28 said, love yourself enough to leave him. If you don't leave him, you will stop loving yourself and not loving ourselves is usually the root of all our problems.

Why do you choose to be with someone who doesn't love you? And why would he stay with someone he just likes? You deserve better than him. He may not cheat on you, but when he falls for another girl, he will leave; maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will happen.

 

You will be perfectly fine on your own, even more happier once you get over him, trust me on this. One day you will look back and think how good life is because you left him.

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We have been together for 3 years. Everything was fine, we don't argue and no bad feelings. The only thing I complained is he is too busy with his work and his kids. I asked him spend more time with me. We basically meet on one day on weekends. He didn't change instead he broke up with me said he loved me but not in love with me. After one month we got back together after me pursued. Its been 6 month so far. Everything seems fine and he spends more time with me like twice a week. But he still said same thing to me last week after I asked him. He said he likes me and cares for me like a good friend. He will still be with me and will not cheat on me. I love him so much and cant image let him go. I do not want to walk away, what should I do?

 

You deserve way more than he's willing or arsed to give you, but if you don't want to walk away, you are going to have to determine if you can be in a loveless relationship for the rest of his or your life with someone who loves you like a sister, but not a lover/wife--because you deserve to be loved like a lover/wife. What are you going to do when he meets someone he's more inclined to arse himself over? Will you be cool with the "sister" treatment while she gets the lover treatment? You need to think long and hard about that one.

 

Being comfortable with someone isn't the same as being loved--and can you guarantee to yourself that you won't step out on your relationship with him with someone willing to be that man for you? Forever is a long time to be with someone who refuses to rise to the emotional occasion for you. The fact that he reached for breaking up with you is troubling. What's more troubling is you taking him back without him changing anything about his approach with you---this is you settling because you don't want to be alone until the right guy comes along. That is not fair to you.

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He may love you as a friend - but you deserve romantic love -- not just companionship to go to the movies with. I would end things with him. He was clear the first time that he's not in love. I think after 3 years, he should have spent just a little more time with you instead of just one day. People who are busy with kids and work and don't integrate the girlfriend or boyfriend in with the kids still steal quick meetups with eachother even if its not a formal date. Please move forward and be clear that you are looking for someone who is in love with you so therefore you cannot be meeting him anymore. He may balk at losing the friendship, but you deserve so much more. Because in those cases -- if you stick around - someone will come along that knocks his socks off and he will drop you like a rock

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You're cheating both of you if you allow this relationship to continue. You both deserve partners where the feelings are reciprocal. It's a matter of time before he meets someone who does do it for him, and by then the pain of leaving will be much worse. Spare both of you and walk away from this relationship.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It sounds as though this guy has no room in his life for a relationship with anyone, whether he loves them or not. My advice to you is walk away; staying with someone who doesn't love you will really erode your self esteem, and while you're accepting crumbs from him it guarantees that you won't find yourself a partner who you can really build a relationship with, and plan a future together.

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  • 2 months later...

Thank you for above advices. One month ago, he did broke up with me again. This time I accept peacefully because I prepared this would happen for very long. He wants to keep as friend. I don't know but I accept this relationship is over and I should let him go. I should find somebody else to love me and he will find somebody he will love. During my difficult time, this forum give me tremendous help. I will date but I prepare being single for at least one to two years. I don't want to but it mostly things will going like that, because this relationship changed me making me more cautious to not pick emotional unavailable man.

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