Have you ever cut someone out of your life totally?

Hello

Someone has recently done this to me. I was casually seeing this guy, we hadn't really had the chat about making anything exclusive and we both figured it wouldn't work because he is in process of relocating. It was more like a deep friendship. Anyway, I realised I had really quite deep feelings for him. Not love at all, but certainly a deep affection. We would be constantly chatting, he would buy me little gifts and stuff to help me out and be supportive over practical things. I haven't been treated well by men in the past and to be honest, I guess I pushed him away a little because I didn't know how to handle it. Everything seemed normal, we were chatting and he was friendly and then all of a sudden, he sent me a text message saying he didn't want to see me again. That's it, he's now totally cut me off. He doesn't respond to my messages and although he hasn't blocked me on WhatsApp, he doesn't read the messages - because oh, yes, I have turned into the person I hate, I have sent several messages wanting him to engage. I make myself cringe!

I'm not great with dating but it seems so harsh to just cut me off completely. I could understand if we were in an actual relationship but we weren't. So I don't understand the need for no contact. Certainly from my end there are no deep feelings to get over. Has anyone had experience of this?

Maybe he didn’t like being pushed away? Whatever the reason no one needs to keep up with someone. I know when I am done with somebody I am done that’s it no talking ,no nothing . Sometimes friends are not friends forever . Just life.

Maybe he didn’t like being pushed away? Whatever the reason no one needs to keep up with someone. I know when I am done with somebody I am done that’s it no talking ,no nothing . Sometimes friends are not friends forever . Just life.

Yeah, I think i offended him but I have apologised. Really? that's interesting. Have you ever pointedly ignored someone then?

Yeah, I think i offended him but I have apologised. Really? that's interesting. Have you ever pointedly ignored someone then?

Absolutely. I have cut friends out and never spoken to them again. In my very early 20’s when I was not as skilled at choosing good friendships.

Absolutely. I have cut friends out and never spoken to them again. In my very early 20’s when I was not as skilled at choosing good friendships.

Oh, okay. Well, I suppose I can't make him talk to me, though I am confused as to how one minute you can be talking normally and then the next, cut someone out. Hmmm. Thanks for the input :)

Of course. People do this on a regular basis.

You mention that you had offended him, so it would seem he has reason. Sure, sometimes you may offend, apologize and the other person will choose to forgive and carry on with you. However, other times that may be the final straw that broke the camel's back and the person will decide that they simply want you out of their life and so cut you off cold. Could also be any number of other random reasons, like he didn't value the friendship as much as you did, or met someone else and felt like your friendship would be detrimental to that, etc.

If you are carrying baggage from bad previous relationships, you might want to work on getting rid of that so you don't wreck your future relationships with it, be it friendship or romantic. Nobody wants to be punished for the sins of your bad past choices.

Oh, okay. Well, I suppose I can't make him talk to me, though I am confused as to how one minute you can be talking normally and then the next, cut someone out. Hmmm.

Maybe he found someone. But, yes, you can’t make him talk to you. That is entirely up to him. And as you said he is relocating so he probably sees no point. I know it feels bad .

Also just look at people for their own merit. Don’t apply the sins of others to them. That could have put him off too.

OK, so it was a casual but deep friendship. Is that code for an FWB thing?

Or was he hoping for such a thing and didn't get it?

Is it possible he found a new lady and she doesn't want him hanging around someone he may have been intimate with?

Lots o' questions.

In any event, time to move on.

OK, so it was a casual but deep friendship. Is that code for an FWB thing?

 

Or was he hoping for such a thing and didn't get it?

 

Is it possible he found a new lady and she doesn't want him hanging around someone he may have been intimate with?

 

Lots o' questions.

 

In any event, time to move on.

Well, yeah, we were sleeping together. We never actually had the conversation about what 'it' was.

I had been cheated on in my previous relationship, so was really scared of letting anyone else in. Hmm..I think that might be the case but he always said he'd tell me if he met someone else. I thought we had a good friendship. I'm flogging a dead horse aren't I?

Yeah, I know I have to let it go. It seems odd to me to never actually see someone again. It was such a shock.

"Cutting someone out of your life totally."

Yeah, it's called breaking up, and going no contact. It's for the best.

He told you he didn't want to see you again, why did you continue texting?

Your post is confusing though, on one hand you said you pushed him away, then you said everything seemed "normal" and suddenly he "cut you off."

No things weren't "normal" not to him, obviously. And he didn't just "cut you off," he told you he didnt want to see you anymore.

Be thankful he told you and didn't just ghost, which seems to be "norm" these days.

"Cutting someone out of your life totally."

 

Yeah, it's called breaking up, and going no contact. It's for the best.

 

He told you he didn't want to see you again, why did you continue texting?

 

Your post is confusing though, on one hand you said you pushed him away, then you said everything seemed "normal" and suddenly he "cut you off."

 

No things weren't "normal" not to him, obviously. And he didn't just "cut you off," he told you he didnt want to see you anymore.

 

Be thankful he told you and didn't just ghost, which seems to be "norm" these days.

Hey, thanks for that.

I understand that would be the case if we were in relationship but we weren't, so we didn't have anything to 'break up' from. He tagged it onto a chatty, otherwise perfectly standard message. I mean, personally, I would have told someone face to face, but that's just me, maybe I am too nice?

 

He told you he didn't want to see you again, why did you continue texting?

.

Because it was so unexpected, I wanted to apologise for something that happened the last time we met up ....and he just ignored me.

Because it was so unexpected, I wanted to apologise for something that happened the last time we met up ....and he just ignored me.

Well, personally unless someone is harassing me, I think ignoring is rude.

But perhaps necessary as they don't wish to mislead you or keep the "drama" going.

They're done and that's it.

I'm sorry I know it sucks to be ignored, but it's really quite common and maybe sometimes for the best even if you don't think so now.

You keep mentioning that you were not in a relationship. But eventually tell us that you were sleeping together. I don't know, and i realize that there are tons of people out there that see "sleeping together" as just another friends activity.

But from my perspective? That's a relationship. awkward and not fully satisfying, but a relationship.

Not sure how that relates to not letting someone in (emotionally?) but still being willing to be intimate with them.

I do think that the compartmentalizing of how you interact just didn't work for him and he has moved on.

And since he is relocating, he's done.

I think, as I said before, you just move on. Maybe go all in on the next boyfriend? Find one that doesn't want to just do the FWD thing.