He wasn’t truthful about his age

I’m on an online dating website, got talking to a guy, seems nice we swapped numbers and he rang me. We had quite a long conversation and agreed a day and time for a meet.

Now his profile said he was 38 (I’m 32) so he was just in my age range that I had set up on the site. During the conversation and I’m not sure how it came about i asked how old he was again. 42! I didn’t question why he had lied on his profile but it has put me off a bit. I know age is just a number but still it is a little off putting for me.

Now I’m unsure what to do, I was also a little put off by the fact he tried to initiate phone sex but I shot that down quickly.

We had arranged to meat this afternoon but I’m really not feeling it, however because of the type of person I am I feel bad if I cancel or just block his number.

Arg!!!! Why does this have to be so hard?

Red flags all over this. Starts with lying extends to attempts at phone sex. Don't meet him. Cancel and block him from the app and your phone.

I didn’t question why he had lied on his profile but it has put me off a bit. I was also a little put off by the fact he tried to initiate phone sex.

You have nothing to feel bad about. He lied, then showed no recognition of this when questioned then tried to initiate phone sex and you haven't even met yet. Her is a lying, disrespectful creep. Please don't meet him. Block him and move onto the next, he doesn't deserve and explanation!

He lied to you. Makes you think WHAT ELSE he’s lying about.

Is he clean?

Is he truly single or is really married acting single?

Does he have a criminal record?

And the phone sex. He is sooooo creepy.

Being dishonest upon the first meeting has consequences. Remember: he’s the one in the wrong here. You have every right to block/reject him. I would.

Guys on dating sites are known to lie about their age. They also lie about being single, so be careful.

The fact alone that he tried initiating phone sex should be reason enough for you to not meet him.

Dont feel guilty, you owe him nothing.

I met a guy out recently, he was really nice and sweet to me and told me that he was 44, all fine. He wanted to exchange numbers but we never got to that night, no big deal. Then he found and liked me on a dating site recently and so I liked him back and we started talking again and I noticed that his profile said that he was 40, not 44. I have no idea why he would lie, especially when he looks older than 44. So yeah, your guy is not the only one. :-)

What do you mean by 'because of the type of person I am I feel bad cancelling or blocking his number'?

Are you someone who has a hard time asserting what it is you want?

No way in fresh heck would I meet this guy. Lies and immediate attempt to have phone sex? Nay.

This is not a man you should get involved with. Go dust off your backbone and cancel this date.

What do you mean by 'because of the type of person I am I feel bad cancelling or blocking his number'?

 

Are you someone who has a hard time asserting what it is you want?

No I know exactly what I want and what I’m looking for and I’m completely clear about that. I feel bad because if the situation was reversed I wouldnt like to be left wondering what I did wrong. I know it’s not a nice feeling plus I try not to judge too harshly.

I have blocked his number and hidden my profile on pof until I can work out how to block someone so they can’t see me when I’m online.

It’s just the fact that his profile said he was 38 when I fact he’s 42, now the 10 year age gap doesn’t bother me it’s the fact that if I hadn’t of asked I would of been none the wiser, then there’s the thought of what else could be hidden. When we first started talking I had to prove who I was as he thought it could of been a fake profile and that he had been deceived in the past but With him lying about his age he’s done the same to me kind of.

It’s a shame because up until that point he seemed like a nice guy and I was looking forward to meeting him. Obviously the attemp at phone sex I didn’t like but as soon as I made it clear I wasn’t interested in that at all he apologised and that was that.

It’s so frustrating, I feel like I’m going to be single and alone forever lol

He lied to you. Makes you think WHAT ELSE he’s lying about.

 

Is he clean?

Is he truly single or is really married acting single?

Does he have a criminal record?

 

And the phone sex. He is sooooo creepy.

 

Being dishonest upon the first meeting has consequences. Remember: he’s the one in the wrong here. You have every right to block/reject him. I would.

Clean? He’s said he’s single, never married, no children not a clue about a criminal record.

I have found that most guys I’ve got talking too are a little strange. I don’t get the asking for inappropriate photos and them actually believing they might get some. It’s just crazy, those ones i stop talking to instantly.

No way in fresh heck would I meet this guy. Lies and immediate attempt to have phone sex? Nay.

 

This is not a man you should get involved with. Go dust off your backbone and cancel this date.

I haven’t cancelled the date but was supposed to confirm this morning and I haven’t done. What I have done is blocked him. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning and i don’t want to meet him. Now if it hadnt of been for those two things I would of gone.

No I know exactly what I want and what I’m looking for and I’m completely clear about that. I feel bad because if the situation was reversed I wouldnt like to be left wondering what I did wrong. I know it’s not a nice feeling plus I try not to judge too harshly.

 

I have blocked his number and hidden my profile on pof until I can work out how to block someone so they can’t see me when I’m online.

 

It’s just the fact that his profile said he was 38 when I fact he’s 42, now the 10 year age gap doesn’t bother me it’s the fact that if I hadn’t of asked I would of been none the wiser, then there’s the thought of what else could be hidden. When we first started talking I had to prove who I was as he thought it could of been a fake profile and that he had been deceived in the past but With him lying about his age he’s done the same to me kind of.

 

It’s a shame because up until that point he seemed like a nice guy and I was looking forward to meeting him. Obviously the attemp at phone sex I didn’t like but as soon as I made it clear I wasn’t interested in that at all he apologised and that was that.

 

It’s so frustrating, I feel like I’m going to be single and alone forever lol

Do not feel bad, a man that lies on stuff like this is likely to be a creep, I don't see any reason to lie on your age and he didn't apologize and give any reason.

You can be proud of yourself, when I was on OLD too many women would just never reply after I took them to dinner, sure it's their right though I didn't lie,

but to me it doesn't show confidence or even less empathy, so not people I want to date, I never did this because I know how it feels on the other side, so

kudos Newtoothis be proud to have good standards !!!

In this situation he lied so he get's what he gave, it's not so bad to just not reply to him.

Good for you, OP.

I would not be entertaining the idea of going on a date with a guy who thought it was a good move to try to initiate phone sex with me before even meeting me. That, combined with the lie about his age, speaks volumes about his character and intentions.

I haven’t cancelled the date but was supposed to confirm this morning and I haven’t done. What I have done is blocked him. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning and i don’t want to meet him. Now if it hadnt of been for those two things I would of gone.

Agree with Miss Canuck on both. Lying about age was always a dealbreaker for me especially because had I wanted to lie it would have been so easy to get away with it at least for quite awhile (I was in my mid 30s, looked younger and of course, understandably, got passed over by men who didn't want to marry and have a baby with me in short order) -also because it's morally and ethically wrong to betray someone else, mislead them and waste their time. Two people I am acquainted with married men who I declined to meet because they lied about their age. Well one married, the other has been with him for over 10 years and "engaged". No regrets especially in one case (he is not a nice person).

Just block him -plenty of men on these sites who are truthful about the facts.

Attempting to initiate phone sex during your very first phone convo -- dealbreaker.

I would have hung up on him, next.

I'm on line dating now, many guys wanting to meet and "hook up" like that day! Next.

And I'm no prude!

But that's just wrong.

I’m on an online dating website, got talking to a guy, seems nice we swapped numbers and he rang me. We had quite a long conversation and agreed a day and time for a meet.

 

Now his profile said he was 38 (I’m 32) so he was just in my age range that I had set up on the site. During the conversation and I’m not sure how it came about i asked how old he was again. 42! I didn’t question why he had lied on his profile but it has put me off a bit. I know age is just a number but still it is a little off putting for me.

 

Now I’m unsure what to do, I was also a little put off by the fact he tried to initiate phone sex but I shot that down quickly.

 

We had arranged to meat this afternoon but I’m really not feeling it, however because of the type of person I am I feel bad if I cancel or just block his number.

 

Arg!!!! Why does this have to be so hard?

This was the very first red flag with my ex, and I wish I had heeded it. (Exact same age difference, too.)

I think the guy is a creep because of the phone sex, but putting things in perspective he did not lie "to you" about his age, he lied on his profile.

When asked his age, by you, he told "you" the truth.

But the initiating phone sex during your first phone convo, before even meeting?

NEXT.

As far as age - if he was on the dating site 4 years and never changed his age - and told you his age right away when you talked - thats understandble unless the dating site calculates your age based on birth date. But the other things are a bigger dealbreaker to me.

I havenÂ’t cancelled the date but was supposed to confirm this morning and I havenÂ’t done. What I have done is blocked him. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning and i donÂ’t want to meet him. Now if it hadnt of been for those two things I would of gone.

I think you should tell him that you're not showing up. Otherwise you're potentially standing him up. I agree you shouldn't meet with him or continue anything with him.

As far as age - if he was on the dating site 4 years and never changed his age - and told you his age right away when you talked - thats understandble unless the dating site calculates your age based on birth date. But the other things are a bigger dealbreaker to me.

Yes, dating sites update age based on b-date provided. There is no such thing as gosh he is using an old account and it just hasn't updated his age.

Look, dude is lying about his age to target younger women and specifically get past their age filters. That in and of itself is creepy and dishonest behavior. Add to it that he tried to have phone sex with her and it's just through the roof creepo land. You don't talk to people like that, you don't make excuses for them, you don't give them the benefit of the doubt, you block and delete them immediately and move on with your life.

Even him "owning up" to his real age, is just a neat little test of boundaries. Is she naive and willing to buy bs or will she call him out and cut him off? Saves him time and helps him focus on women who are willing to accept bs and he proceeds from there....I guess to see if she'll have phone sex with him....and then maybe some groping octopus action while on the date or more.... This creep is pushing boundaries looking for those who don't have any.

I would cut him off if I were you. I was in a situation similar to this. The guy lied about his age as well as his name!! He told me me he was 35 when he was 40 and when I later confronted him he said he was afraid I would reject him if I knew his real age. Then I found out the name was fake too and that's after we had been intimate so if he lied about his age initially best believe he's lying about a whole lot of things.

I didn’t question why he had lied on his profile but it has put me off a bit. I know age is just a number but still it is a little off putting for me.

Op, let's put this "age thing" in proper perspective. Men usually will do this in order to be with younger women. Period. With most OLD sites, people can specify an "age range" that they're looking for. Women are now listing age ranges that do not include much older men, so men will list a younger age to date the type of women that they're interested in.

Some will reveal their real age on the 1st date, while others will reveal their real age only if they decide to later pursue a relationship with you. By that time, they've already gotten what they want. The experienced women will request to see a driver's license (which the man will have on him). This guy might be 42, or he might not be 42.

Op, let's put this "age thing" in proper perspective. Men usually will do this in order to be with younger women. Period. With most OLD sites, people can specify an "age range" that they're looking for. Women are now listing age ranges that do not include much older men, so men will list a younger age to date the type of women that they're interested in.

 

Some will reveal their real age on the 1st date, while others will reveal their real age only if they decide to later pursue a relationship with you. By that time, they've already gotten what they want. The experienced women will request to see a driver's license (which the man will have on him). This guy might be 42, or he might not be 42.

I refused to respond to messages with men who put a younger age in order to come up in different searches. Ick. Smarmy and misleading. I don't care if he "confessed" in the text of the profile. Definite dealbreaker as far as his values (or lack thereof). One time I found out he was lying because he bragged about having been married to a younger woman from a wealthy family. In his bragging he told me how much younger she was. I googled her and figured out he was lying about his age.

If he's the type to lie about his age and try to snare you into phone sex, then it's very likely he's been hung up on before.

Do not lose any sleep about blocking this guy. He just probably shrugged and moved on looking for the next willing playmate.

If he had any integrity and thought anything of you to start, with he would have talked to you in a respect manner and been honest. But he did neither. And his type doesn't really care. Think about it. You have to be pretty nervy to do the things he does. He's not on there looking for a relationship. Seeing he played the sex card straight up, he isn't even interested in meeting in real life. His angle is to get his fix electronically. Dating would be way too much work.

Like someone said earlier, dust off your back bone and get prepared. There are alot of knuckle heads just like him on the internet.

You can't afford to be overly nice and sensitive to their little feelings. It's exactly your type that are their perfect prey. Learn to spot them early.

If it makes you feel any better, send him a message as to why you've blocked him.

Because you don't tolerate liars or predators.

Next!

I refused to respond to messages with men who put a younger age in order to come up in different searches. Ick. Smarmy and misleading. I don't care if he "confessed" in the text of the profile. Definite dealbreaker as far as his values (or lack thereof). One time I found out he was lying because he bragged about having been married to a younger woman from a wealthy family. In his bragging he told me how much younger she was. I googled her and figured out he was lying about his age.

It won't work on you, but it is often successful. I have friends who have done this, and they do end up with these younger women. Sometimes, "attractiveness & charm" can persuade some women to overlook the "age tactic", as long as the man looks the age he lists.