Right person, Wrong time? (LDR)

What are your thoughts on "Right person, Wrong Time"? Would love to hear stories of people who broke up due to bad timing in their lives and they ended up back together when the timing was better. Or if the concept is BS, let me know too!

You love each other but circumstances beyond your control or ability to workaround are causing you to not be together. Is there a chance to be with that person again? Can anyone share stories where a breakup happened and you got back with the person you love?

Some context of why I'm asking this: Was in a LDR with an amazingly beautiful (inside and out) woman for about 6 months. And when I finally got the opportunity to see her, things ended. She cited something I had said about 3 months prior that made her feel that I was condescending and that it caused her to feel less and less attracted to me since then. Mind you she NEVER brought this up with me until the breakup and I wish we had an opportunity to argue and fight over it so we could at least work things out. We also got into the stupidest of fights just after Christmas which was a few weeks before I flew out to see her. When I finally arrived, she mentioned a lot of things of why it won't work out, but mostly pointed to me taking so long to fly out to see her. She also mentioned that it was "wrong timing."

It was wrong timing cause it wasn't just me that was being held up, but her too to visit me. When we first connected through a dating app, I was just about to put my house on the market. I told her that I was hoping to get this out of the way and then I'd be able to see her hopefully in the coming weeks. Then the real estate slump in Toronto hit and weeks turned into months. As I told her, selling my house was going to be the base of my financial future and I had already sunk in $10,000+ on the roof and other repairs so I just needed for her to hold on a little longer. Around November, we had a small argument (not knowing at the time this was stemming from the "condescending" incident) and set a firm deadline for January to meet. I moved the planets and the stars to fly out to see her only to be heartbroken that she wanted to end things. For her, she was in between jobs and didn't have the funds to visit me neither. She also cited the breakup was noting that past relationships had got in the way of her career.

p.s. her favorite movie is The Notebook which definitely has a "Right person, wrong time" theme in it.

LDR's in of themselves have horrible odds. Add in all of life's challenges and this one seems to never have got off the ground.

She used her only opportunity to actually see you to list of your transgressions and all you took away from this is it might be due to bad timing?

I would just save myself some grief and time and move on from this one.

This relationship ended on your first meeting. its not bad timing. Your lives were not going in the same direction, the relationship had no foundation to begin with. And why would you sell your house for this woman? There are other fish in the sea - women that live closer that think owning a home is a sign of responsibility, etc.

LDR are hard, been in one and had the guy use that line on me. Personally I think the whole "wrong time, right person" saying is complete BS when it comes to situations in real life. I loved the notebook, but in the end that is a fantasy movie and doesn't happen very often. Yes some people do find each other after some years, but for most once a relationship is over, its over. If you love a person, you will do anything to be w/them, if you have low interest, you'll let them go. She wasn't interested and wanted to reject you w/out outright rejecting you. Life never stops being challenging, but if you want someone nothing will stop you. Do not stop your life for this woman, I can guarantee you will be happier w/a woman who wants you, not someone to makes no effort to be w/you. How can you know she is such a great person if you hadn't even met her until this point? Anyone can pretend to be anything at a distance.

I agree with the others that it's not really down to bad timing. She broke it off after the first meeting; something didn't click for her in person.

Sure, the logisitics of LDR were working against you but I don't think she was all that invested if something you said months before was cited as a reason for breaking up. She could have addressed that with you then; she didn't bother.

The timing excuse is mostly bull****, I think it is very rare that something in the life of anyone, would prevent them from being with someone they deeply love,

more the exception that makes the rule.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you should get your feet back on the ground, she basically never had intention to meet you and stringed you along, blaming

you of this ridiculous argument months ago, that's not the woman you want in your life !

I had a LDR and I say it gives you fairytale goggles, you think you somehow met this fantastic exotic person out of nowhere, that this is destiny or something.

The reality of my LDR is we dated and flew to each other for about 1.5 year, she always blamed me on schedule problems while expecting me to plan everything

and in the end she decided out of the relationship, just admitting to this when I tried to plan the next vacation, stringing me along for months.

I did my share of errors and crap too, she isn't only at fault of course but since then she of course asked to stay friends and never ever texts or calls, so you see

when people turn the page after LDRs, they even more have no intention to stay in touch or even think about you and that's for the better anyway, look ahead !

Unfortunately this sounds more like wrong person, wrong situation...anytime. When on dating apps, date locally so you can meet up asap. Also why "argue and fight" with someone you never met? Are you on the rebound?

when I finally got the opportunity to see her, things ended. She cited something I had said about 3 months prior that made her feel that I was condescending and that it caused her to feel less and less attracted to me since then. I wish we had an opportunity to argue and fight over it

Thanks for the replies everyone.

We never fought which I actually saw as a bad sign cause relationships are rarely perfect, but when something is bothering us about the other person, we should communicate it even if it leads to a fight. This finally happened in November when she brought up something that she's been holding in for awhile. We got through it and then when I learned in January she's been holding in something again, I just couldn't believe it. The break up didn't

feel "real" cause it was predicated on something that happened months ago.

To clarify, I wasn't selling my house for her. I happened to be selling my house when I met her.

It's been hard letting go cause the good times still stand out first and foremost.

I take this saying a little bit differently than most people.

To me, "right person, wrong time" doesn't necessarily mean that this person is "the one." What it means to me is that they *could* have been - had the timing been better, had one thing been different, had x, y, z not happened. What you're really saying is that they aren't right for you - and that's OK. And maybe you'll meet again in the future and those feelings will be there. Who knows?

Basically, I view it as yet another easy let down. Because, really... the truth is... right person, right time might happen immediately after the one you thought was just bad timing...but you'll move heaven and earth to be together and overcome whatever obstacles might prevent the relationship from working. It won't just be one of you putting in the work - you'll both do it.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

 

We never fought which I actually saw as a bad sign cause relationships are rarely perfect, but when something is bothering us about the other person, we should communicate it even if it leads to a fight. This finally happened in November when she brought up something that she's been holding in for awhile. We got through it and then when I learned in January she's been holding in something again, I just couldn't believe it. The break up didn't

feel "real" cause it was predicated on something that happened months ago.

 

To clarify, I wasn't selling my house for her. I happened to be selling my house when I met her.

 

It's been hard letting go cause the good times still stand out first and foremost.

You never fought because you were long distance.

Thanks Liraele. It felt like we were both putting in the work for most of that time until the very end.

I take this saying a little bit differently than most people.

 

To me, "right person, wrong time" doesn't necessarily mean that this person is "the one." What it means to me is that they *could* have been - had the timing been better, had one thing been different, had x, y, z not happened. What you're really saying is that they aren't right for you - and that's OK. And maybe you'll meet again in the future and those feelings will be there. Who knows?

 

Basically, I view it as yet another easy let down. Because, really... the truth is... right person, right time might happen immediately after the one you thought was just bad timing...but you'll move heaven and earth to be together and overcome whatever obstacles might prevent the relationship from working. It won't just be one of you putting in the work - you'll both do it.

You never fought because you were long distance.

I think it was more of the non-communication from both sides, which was worsened by the long distance cause body language and other non-verbal cues aren't as obvious.