How

I've been in a relationship with this girl for close to 6 months now and I'm just not falling in love with her or building on any romantic feelings i had at the start. At this point i feel shes more of a friend than a girlfriend and I feel its time to end things with her but i don't know how, it's been on my mind for over a month now.....shes a nice girl and we never argue so it isn't like there is anything bad to say about why i want to break up, apart from i don't think she is the one, im not falling in love or see a long term future. It will come as a complete shock to her and i think she will be devastated - i don't want to upset her but i know im going to have to do it at some point soon!

Problem is that we have a family wedding this weekend that shes really looking forward to and showing me off at, so I'm not sure if i should do it before as in during this week or after.....if i do it before it might ruin her day if i do it after it might ruin the memory!

Any advice?

It's only been 6 mos and you were still texting and thinking about your ex, so this may have been a rebound. Just be honest and tell her this:

im not seeing a long term future.

I would tell her before the wedding. She will view this event as a big deal while you will only be doing it to spare her feelings.

It's Monday - don't wait until closer to the weekend. It's going to sting either way, but why fake your way through the weekend knowing you're going to end it?

I'm just not sure what decision is right, i know she has been looking forward to it so i don't want to ruin it for her by making her sad, before or during as she hasn't done anything wrong. But then i agree is it fair to go and meet extended family and like you say "fake" my way through it to break up the week after....either way i ruin the day or the memory i guess!

It's hard and I get you are wanting to find the right time.

As difficult as it is, I would want to know rather than continuing thinking something entirely different.

I'd also be somewhat mad that I just got done introducing you to my entire family and inner circle, just to have you bail immediately after.

There is no easy way to do it, but it is the right thing to do.

Free her up so she can find someone who's crazy about her.

She deserves that.

It's a not an easy call for sure, but if she's taking you to show you off to friends/family - well, I think that would sting pretty hard once she finds out the next week that you had been thinking of breaking up all along. She may be even more upset that you went through with the event knowing you were ending it - but you know her better than we do.

In her shoes, I'd prefer the guy to break up immediately. Otherwise, I'd be excited introducing my guy to everyone, and then have to suffer the embarrassment and well-meaning questions of those relatives when they asked about him after the break up. If I went alone, there would be none of these reminders afterward of people asking me or my parents, etc., about an ex I'd rather forget.

This is probably some kind of a combination of a rebound relationship, and just the end of the honeymoon phase. The spark never lasts permanently -- it comes and goes based on other factors in a couples' shared lives. Not seeing a future with her probably forms some sort of causality loop with the degradation of the spark you felt at first.

I'm going through something now where my boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me and told me he doesn't feel the love. I think you have to figure out what love means. If you think it's fireworks and you can't live without that person, that's not love. It's co-dependence and infatuation.

It's definitely not a nice feeling to be on the receiving end, but don't make regrets. Relationships should be teamwork and easy, not hard and struggling with fights etc.

You'll figure it out.

I'm going through something now where my boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me and told me he doesn't feel the love. I think you have to figure out what love means. If you think it's fireworks and you can't live without that person, that's not love. It's co-dependence and infatuation.

 

It's definitely not a nice feeling to be on the receiving end, but don't make regrets. Relationships should be teamwork and easy, not hard and struggling with fights etc.

 

You'll figure it out.

Sorry to hear that, i guess that's how it goes sometimes at least he was honest!

I'm quite an independent person so it's not like i feel couldn't live without her, i like my own space sometimes and i agree that fireworks don't last forever. My other issue is thinking 'will i regret breaking up with her', i sit on the fence with that one. Whilst we get along, do things together and never argue, at the moment i feel it's more of a friendship as i'm deff not in love with her (she knows I'm not in love with her but i am fond of her, i have told her in a nice way as questions did come up on the L word). I don't want to string her along as that's wrong, but atm don't see myself with her say this time next year. Maybe i'll give it a few more weeks and make a final decision then!

Break up with her before this wedding, OP.

You don't need to give it a few more weeks if you've already been thinking about this for a month and you've only dated 6 months. You already know there's no future. Going to this wedding will be a mistake, because you know people will be teasing her with "Oh, are you next??" when they see you two there together. Don't do that to her.

There doesn't necessarily need to be something bad or dramatic happening for a relationship to end. Sometimes we just know it's not going to go further because we just aren't interested that way about the other person. My guess is she won't be totally shocked, if you've been dancing around the L Word a bit.