Stuck.. please read

This is my first time here and I just need to vent.. my husband and I always had kind of a rocky relationship. But we loved each other like crazy so we always made it work. After we had my currently 11 month old son we started to fight more and more and now it’s everyday. We fight and yell in front of my son even tho I try and tel him not to. It’s constant verbal abuse and he’s made me into a monster and it’s not fair to me or my son to see us like this.. I wanted to separate but we are both Assyrian (middle eastern) and that’s a big no no in our culture. My parents for sure would never support my decision or me. I’m scared to be alone but I don’t think it’s fair for me to cry everyday and suffer for the rest of my life.. if anyone out there understands or has been where I’ve been.. I’d love to have someone to talk to.. I love my son and don’t blame him obviously or regret him, but I regret ever meeting my husband. It’s an awful feeling..

I don't have a great answer for you, but I have a work friend who is Vietnamese who had problems with her husband when her kids were little. Big problems, as in he was hitting the kids, and she lost respect and love for him, but she felt she couldn't leave for mainly cultural reasons (like you). He ended up in legal trouble and jail because of it, and had to go to counseling. It scared him into behaving, but really I think what helped is the kids got older and everybody's stress went down. So while I don't have good advise for you, I can say that it might get better when your son grows older and more self-sufficient. So if you can't leave him or separate at least (is that an option?? Just to give you both some breathing time??), then you can at least hope for less tears one day?

Parents should never, ever, argue in front of the children. Also, I think you need to leave that abusive bully you are married to, even if your parents would not approve. This is your life and if your husband thinks he's acting appropriately he is not going to change just because you dont like what he says and does. You are better off alone than living with a bully. You can get help from a women's shelter and also talk to a lawyer about your rights.

Parents should never, ever, argue in front of the children. Also, I think you need to leave that abusive bully you are married to, even if your parents would not approve. This is your life and if your husband thinks he's acting appropriately he is not going to change just because you dont like what he says and does. You are better off alone than living with a bully. You can get help from a women's shelter and also talk to a lawyer about your rights.

Agree and please explain to your parents what's happening.

I highly doubt they would "approve" of your husband verbally/emotionally abusing you, would they?

I am not all that familiar with middle eastern culture, but would be quite surprised if your parents preferred you remain in such a toxic and abusuve situation rather than breaking cultural tradition and ending the marriage.

This is true story.

Many years ago, I met and had two dates with a middle eastern man. Good looking, quite successful, chaming.

Very traditional, very fixed/oppressive ideas about how a "wife" (even girlfriend) should behave, this did not jibe with my beliefs so stopped dating him.

Two years later, I heard he got married.

Another year later, his wife committed suicide.

No one had details, except that she wasn't happy in the marriage, felt controlled, oppressed and apparently divorce was not an option at the time.

Next thing we heard, she's dead from suicide.

Reach out! To your parents, your minister, a qualified therapist, someone!

You cannot live this way, it's so toxic and unhealthy, not only for you but your child too!!