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Thread: I have my answer from my ex and I wanted to kill myself

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanJ64
    I will... Thank you so much Carus. Its just a loop in my head and it wont switch off.
    Here's a video to help you Ryan: [Register to see the link]

    We're gonna have to draw on several resources to get you through this....

    This is also something you'll need to read through: [Register to see the link]

    Learn a couple of quick meditation tricks too to help soothe your anxiety....Anxiety makes us do crazy stuff!
    Stay Strong Brother*

    Carus*

  2. #12
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    You still out there Ryan? I hope you get the help you desperately need. Understand you want the pain to stop, but suicide is not the answer. I hope you checked yourself back in. Saying prayers for you...........
    Let us know you're okay. Be strong.

  3. #13
    Member Roughpatchsw's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanJ64
    Its just a loop in my head and it wont switch off.
    I have this with my ex so, so much. I am doing cognitive behavioral therapy (I was in it before the breakup) and it is helping a lot. There is a lot to it so much so I can't cover it here, but the most basic technique anyone can use. When you think a negative thought immediately try and counter it with a positive one about yourself. At first this is fake it until you make it, but after awhile it becomes habit.

    In your case (as in mine) when you think "Why did they do this to me?" immediately try and think "This is something everyone likes about Ryan, I..." then fill in what you know people like about you. And it feels fake and false and that no one can possibly see you that way. I still feel that, but I also think it right after a negative so it stops the cycle somewhat because next thought I think that again...

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Carus
    Here's a video to help you Ryan: [Register to see the link]

    We're gonna have to draw on several resources to get you through this....

    This is also something you'll need to read through: [Register to see the link]

    Learn a couple of quick meditation tricks too to help soothe your anxiety....Anxiety makes us do crazy stuff!
    Stay Strong Brother*

    Carus*
    Ok this right here. This guy gets it. Watch/listen to this video when you can Ryan (and everybody). The loop you are talking about, in your mind, is that endless movie he is referring to in the video. It is very hard to switch off, to turn off, but it is doable!!! First we have to understand where our pain is coming from, and to understand ourselves, then (or simultaneously as possible) try to empower ourselves and dig ourselves out of this sh&$ hole. With time and consciousness, I believe we will all make it through friend, just stay with us and stay hopeful for YOUR life. It is all you have and it is yours. As someone once said, we dont get to decide how much time we are given or have to live on this Earth but we CAN decide what to do with the time we are given and how to live our lives. You control your mind and emotions, you have the power.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by sputnik123
    We are all here for you Ryan.

    One of the most pertinent statements seen on the forum is "the cause of the pain cannot be the solution to ease the pain".

    Please keep that in mind.
    This too. Donít go back to the source of pain.

  7. #16
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Threads have been merged.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    Less than a year ago, my best friend ("L")of nearly 20 years committed suicide. She killed herself over a F**ing guy.

    She gassed herself. My other best friend ("D") (we were all the "Three Musketeers") husband was the first person who saw the paramedics trying to revive her body. THEY could of died because the gas is toxic after a few inhales. She was beyond gone when they arrived. The paramedics told him that she "passed away peacefully." HUGE ASS LIE (unfortunately it's not uncommon for paramedics to LIE to family/friends about someone's death at the scene). Gassing yourself is excruciating and painful. She died a very painful death... over a stupid F**ing guy.

    D was visiting her family overseas when it went down. Husband only told L's family and didn't want to tell D until she got back a few days later. Try being in her husband's shoe of holding onto the news of a friend's death and dealing with grief alone... it eats you alive. Then I got the call. D and I had to be the ones to spread the news to friends about L's suicide. Never have I had to have a painful, awkward conversation with so many people.


    Receiving the suicide note was the absolute worst pain she had inflicted on us. It explained why she did what she did, left instructions of her funeral arrangements (which we aren't in charge of because we're not family), and which friends get what of her possessions. Completely planned. D and I still cannot comprehend to this day why the F she didn't reach out to us, yet made more time to type such notes and instructions. All because of a F**ing guy.


    I was at her viewing and funeral. I witnessed so many family members in pain, crying in anguish or staring at her coffin with numbed stillness. I watched L's brother, uncle, and father, and D's husband carry her coffin out of the church. I watched L's mother cry over her coffin before it was lowered in the ground. Her daughter was gone forever and she can no longer hold her. Everything she did as her loving mother -- putting her through therapy and supporting her in anyway she could -- was in vain. All because a F**ing guy.


    Parties with friends aren't the same anymore because L isn't around. I have skipped 3 social events because L will no longer be there. I hate big crowds and most people, and L was always with me to keep me company. L and I did so much crazy stuff growing up and within our adulthood that I wish I can re-live those moments again with her. I will never have those back. I was so busy with work and I was eager to spend my summer with her since I live in a beach community. Nope, she is gone before those plans could start. I'm about to give birth to my first child and would of wanted her to be the one of the first people to hold her first.


    So really.... if you kill yourself now, you leave pain behind on your family and friends. Those awesome people who always had your back no matter what. That pain never diminishes. They will have to live with that pain. They don't deserve it because your ex is a W*. Please don't do that to them. I am still trying to pick up the pieces after L did it and am failing miserably.


    If this girl is driving you that much to hurt yourself, she ain't worth it. Your life is worth way more than hers. Heartbreaks suck. Rejection sucks. But please don't think it is the end of the world. There are plenty of people who (or will) love you. Please call the hotline:

    1-800-273-TALK (8255)

  9. #18
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    Snny, , I'm sorry, that's heartbreaking. I lost a BF to suicide and I can vividly see the wake and funeral as if it were today when I think of him. The pain in his dad's eyes who wouldn't even look at me because I was the gf, I was supposed to make him happy and he'd forget his ex. That's what he said. That was brutal. His mom adored me and didn't blame me, but his dad, he never spoke to me again. He could not handle the fact his ex got engaged. And the heartbreak of everyone, it's something that leaves a permanent impact for sure. No guy or girl is worth a life. No one. This is one of those times that everyone wishes time would pass quickly, or that there was a magic pill to take, to take their pain away. Those who contemplate and/ or follow through, they say they just want the pain to end. For some, it does. But not for those left behind :(

  10. #19
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    Ryan, please tell us where you live and your full name. We need to be able to get you help if you're serious about these feelings.

    Please let us know that you're seeking help, or please post that information and let us help you.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stacksmchenry
    Ryan, please tell us where you live and your full name. We need to be able to get you help if you're serious about these feelings.

    Please let us know that you're seeking help, or please post that information and let us help you.
    Posters are not allowed to disclose their personal contact info.

    He needs to be truthful with his family when he has feelings of despair that are strong enough for him to contemplate suicide so they can get him help.

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