Just need some advice :(

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. I love him very much, he is kind, smart and funny. I really care about him and we are best friends, perfect companions. However, in our relationship (on my end) there is absolutely no passion. Any intimacy is just not enjoyable for me and more often than not I do "it" just to get it over with. We are about to move far away together and I just don't know what to do. I love him so much but I know that I am not "in love" with him. But when we are actually hanging out together I am thinking to myself 'this guy is great, what am I thinking?!" but then when I have alone time, all my mind can do is just be miserable about the relationship. He deserves more than a person who feels this way about him, he deserves the freaking universe but I just for anything cannot bring myself to end it. We have all these plans together and I feel like it would destroy him if I ended it. It would destroy me, too. But another factor, is that we are currently living in a town where I know nobody other than coworkers and I dont have any friends. So we are hanging out 24/7. I feel like maybe if I had my own "life" it would be different. I am going away on a business trip for almost two weeks in less than a month and I am hoping it will give me some clarity. I just feel so unbelievably hopeless, stuck, sad and miserable. I know myself so well to to know I wont end it, my god I wish I had the bravery to do it but I dont. Please just any words of encouragement would help.

wow... i first thought dont move with him. but you don't have much of a life there....

maybe move and see if the new place is somewhere you can thrive but slow down the relationship.

really know what you want to do. the trip is perfect. think about it and what you imagine happening.

do you want to stay where you are as a single person?

or

do you want to build a new life in a new town?

its really unfortunate about the sex. do you think you could, if you were happier with yourself?

or

do you not care about the sex?

the move makes it complicated. so i think you need to make multiple decisions here.... what kind of future do you see for yourself?

just don't break up in haste.... bu, make up cycles are easy to start. hard to stop!

Hi

I know it will hurt him but not forever. You have to look at it that way. Prolonging the inevitable will make things worse. You have to look at it as if you are ripping off a band aid. Just be gentle, kind and firm.

You can do this, because you know in your gut it's the right thing to do and that's what matters.

Lisa

Well, I don't think it's fair to continue a relationship where you're just going through the motions. That's called "settling" and I would say intimacy is even more important for a woman than for a man. And if you're not feeling it, that's going to be a problem as you go along in the relationship. What could happen is as you travel and gain friends, you may be tempted to find that intimacy in other friends, such as the "emotional friend," for example, or even an affair. You may not even "love" your boyfriend, but rather it's an "emotional dependency" where you're staying with him only to not hurt him.

Certainly take some time to think about it. But if you truly feel "unbelievably hopeless, stuck, sad and miserable," you're not doing your boyfriend any favors.

Break up. Not fair to the bf, or yourself.

I suggest you look to your feelings for caring about him as a person in general and leave him so that he can find a woman who is passionate.

If you aren’t passionate at the start IMO you will probably never or rarely be with him.

When you find a man who does it for you then you will know you’ve made the right choice by leaving the current bf.

Be lifelong friends if you need to, but move on.

Your One year investment with him isn’t too much to have learned a lesson.

If you cannot bring yourself to break it off,

—at least don’t move forward with moving with him, etc.

—go back to your family or hometown.

Stop doing something you know is destructive to yourself, him, and anyone concerned. It’s the kindest thing you can do.

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. I love him very much, he is kind, smart and funny. I really care about him and we are best friends, perfect companions. However, in our relationship (on my end) there is absolutely no passion. Any intimacy is just not enjoyable for me and more often than not I do "it" just to get it over with. We are about to move far away together and I just don't know what to do. I love him so much but I know that I am not "in love" with him.

I'm sorry you feel this way but what caused this to change? Its almost a year and its maybe kinder to end things for it to drag on. It would be unfair on him and the longer you leave things. The longer he is going to invest in him.

Find out whats lacking in the relationship. When you say intimacy. Do you mean communication wise or or is it hugging or is it sex? Have you tried to ta;k to your boyfriend how things are? Think about what would make you happy.