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Thread: Is it strange to want to raise another family?

  1. #31
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Age doesnít change things? Thatís kind of naÔve .

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Age doesnít change things? Thatís kind of naÔve .
    Not sure what your problem is. AGE DONT change the fact I love having a family. I'm not a idiot that growing old is a thing. I think someone is a bit Bitter. I know men in their 50's having kids. Do I plan to be in my 50's Heck no with in the next 2-3 years max. But if you have nothing positive to say move on. I am done arguing with someone that is a Debbie downer.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by Lost 73
    Not sure what your problem is. AGE DONT change the fact I love having a family. I'm not a idiot that growing old is a thing. I think someone is a bit Bitter. I know men in their 50's having kids. Do I plan to be in my 50's Heck no with in the next 2-3 years max. But if you have nothing positive to say move on. I am done arguing with someone that is a Debbie downer.
    I am not bitter at all. I donít know where you get that from. I have a very happy life thanks. But you are defensive with almost everyone.

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I am not bitter at all. I donít know where you get that from. I have a very happy life thanks. But you are defensive with almost everyone.
    No just the ones that are being negative. I am not looking for negative tudes.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I am not bitter at all. I donít know where you get that from. I have a very happy life thanks. But you are defensive with almost everyone.
    You made me think so I went back and re-read the entire thread only you and 1 other was being negative about it and only you and 1 other was I defensive with. everyone else it seemed to me was normal causal talking. So what's the common factor here? YOU Go back read all what you wrote ALL negative stuff not really encouraging some people are glass half full others half empty. I encourage you to re-read the entire thread you and Snny was only ones being negative and only ones I responded to in such a way

  7. #36
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    My husband and I dated in our late 20s and again in our late 30s. It worked the second time around. We conceived and became parents and married in our early 40s. It's like winning the lottery. The downsides -having to care for aging parents/no help from grandparents. I feel healthier and in better shape than when I was in my 30s. We both look and act young (although my husband tends to the old fashioned and is a bit more into that kind of stuff than I am). I see so many moms in their 20s and 30s post on my facebook groups complaining about what they're missing out on - money, girls' nights out, alcohol if they're nursing/pregnant, etc. I did all that and then some. In a major city. Except for the alcohol/drugs. Being a mom later in life really did away with those regrets and we're in a much better financial situation than had we started in our 20s. It's very freeing. My expectation was that we'd probably have one child and have no help from our parents. Both are true so no surprises there and I'm not negative about it at all. He has one grandparent left of 4 and all of them adored him to pieces, to the moon and back. Hopefully he will hold that in his heart. My mom is alive and she's over the moon about him too.
    '
    I do worry about our future health of course but I had a stroke at age 42 -with no medical history or reasons as to why except that it might have been the effect of the pregnancy. I recovered quickly and that was 9 years ago. But my point is it can happen far earlier than senior citizen time -all sorts of health issues.

    I say to go for it.

  8. #37
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    Originally Posted by Lost 73
    Advice but without judgement, Foster kids allot of them have many different issues. Plus with me it is about raising from birth. I would hate to have a kid for 2 years then poof gone back tow here ever they came from. I understand how it works I was a foster child.
    Adopting looked into it when I was married it is allot of money and you just don't know the genetics. I have had my genotyping done, I agree Ill age being a parent that don't change much I have accepted that
    Well - you don't know genetics when you have your own child either. They could end up like your crazy uncle Larry and be the black sheep of the family or they could end up looking nothing like you our your wife and end up looking like other relatives. They could have birth defects you can't anticipate. There are a lot of young boys that would really thrive having a dad. You say you were in foster care - imagine adopting a boy that was just like you and changing the direction of their life. They probably wouldn't adopt an infant to a single dad unless you connected with birthparents that wanted you, but they would consider a boy who was a little older most likely

    You are still an age where its very appropriate for you to be able to meet a woman who is in her 30s who wants a family of her own - its not unreasonable! I just think that you have to fall in love with the woman first and want her so that if you guys don't end up having more you are still satisfied (ie, weed out women who don't want kids or absolutely cannot have them but sometimes things just don't work out even if you try). In otherwords, don't approach dating looking for "breeding stock")

  9. #38
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Well - you don't know genetics when you have your own child either. They could end up like your crazy uncle Larry and be the black sheep of the family or they could end up looking nothing like you our your wife and end up looking like other relatives. They could have birth defects you can't anticipate. There are a lot of young boys that would really thrive having a dad. You say you were in foster care - imagine adopting a boy that was just like you and changing the direction of their life. They probably wouldn't adopt an infant to a single dad unless you connected with birthparents that wanted you, but they would consider a boy who was a little older most likely

    You are still an age where its very appropriate for you to be able to meet a woman who is in her 30s who wants a family of her own - its not unreasonable! I just think that you have to fall in love with the woman first and want her so that if you guys don't end up having more you are still satisfied (ie, weed out women who don't want kids or absolutely cannot have them but sometimes things just don't work out even if you try). In otherwords, don't approach dating looking for "breeding stock")
    Yup was in foster care and worst part of my life. Gave me PTSD. I get it is always a gamble I understand that. I also would like a son to pass my name onto that has my DNA. My son will never have kids and my Daughter is married so name change. I do get your drift on the dating side of things. Guess its all a gamble. thank you for responding.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by Lost 73
    Yup was in foster care and worst part of my life. Gave me PTSD. I get it is always a gamble I understand that. I also would like a son to pass my name onto that has my DNA. My son will never have kids and my Daughter is married so name change. I do get your drift on the dating side of things. Guess its all a gamble. thank you for responding.
    Okay -- if you marry again and have kids, what if you have a little girl? Are you going to be upset because your name won't be carried down? If so, then you want a child for the wrong reasons.

    Your name and DNA has been carried down into two wonderful children and now its their turn to decide if THEIR name and DNA will be carried down - not yours. you have already done it. Your DNA is still in your daughter's kids. WHo knows, maybe she will give one of the kids your last name as their middle name. Who knows, maybe your son will have a child someday - maybe he'll have one when he is 40.

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by Lost 73
    Yup was in foster care and worst part of my life. Gave me PTSD. I get it is always a gamble I understand that. I also would like a son to pass my name onto that has my DNA. My son will never have kids and my Daughter is married so name change. I do get your drift on the dating side of things. Guess its all a gamble. thank you for responding.
    I am surprised you would not want to prevent someone from having the same trauma that you did -- to provide a stable loving home so they don't experience what you did.

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