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Thread: Giving Up

  1. #1

    Giving Up

    I am 17 years old and feel very alone. My relationship with my family is very messed up, I feel I have given up on trying to improve myself anymore for them because I keep screwing things up so much. (Like following rules, etc.) The only person I really really care about right now is my girlfriend, but we don't live so close to each other and therefore we've been having many problems communicating. She also takes advantage of the distance by leaving me for hours at a time whenever she is upset about something, leaving me very anxious and waiting for her to reply. It messes with me so much because I love her so much and my love is constantly thrown to the side whenever she gets upset since it's usually related to me. I don't know what to do because the ways I have to talk to her are getting taken from me from my family since I have started giving up on trying.

    However, me and my gf really want to spend a long time with each other, and I think that getting away and spending time with her over the summer will improve our relationship, and my family's as well because I will have time to reflect on how I could improve myself for them. I suggested to try visiting over the summer to her and she told me she did not want to talk to me at the time and has been gone for many hours again. I think it's because she wants me to actually live with her, but I can't do that. Still, it upsets me, and right now I just feel completely alone and like everything is my fault. I want a relationship of mine to work out since I really care about people. If nothing works, I legitimately feel like ending my own life because of how terrible I feel about everyone and everything. I really don't know what I can do..

  2. #2
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    Hi, I am really sorry for how you are feeling. The tone reads as very, very low right now. You posted in "suicide," but I really hope that you do not harm yourself in any way.

    First, would you consider your relationship with your parents healthy? What do they say you do not do correctly? How do they say it?

    Second, same question about your girlfriend. Do you find your relationship with her healthy? How do you know that she is purposefully ignoring you when you two argue? Could she be busy and not able to respond, or does she not respond because it bothers you?

    I want to express that you are in control of the relationships you keep in life. You may not be in control of how other people act, but you can choose to react in a way that helps you.

  3. #3
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    Your girlfriend is trying to manipulate and control you with her passive-aggressive behavior. It's basically emotional abuse which is part of the reason you feel so bad. Have you ever actually met her? Internet relationships aren't real and since 60% of communication is non-verbal, so you have problems communicating, which you've already found out. Also, being 17, your hormones can cause you to feel more depressed as well.

    Since she's so far away, I would say to forget about her and find someone close to where you live. Someone you can touch, kiss, and hold hands with. Maybe someone who goes to your school so you can hang out together at lunch or after school. Spring is coming. It's a nice time to fall in love. Try asking a few girls out on dates.

  4. #4
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    OP, how are you doing?

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member
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    Improve yourself for you. Not for them.

    You live your life. They don't live your life.

    Do what makes you happy. There's always going to be someone who says something negative about it and you can choose not to listen to it.

    I would give anything to be 17 again. YOU HAVE SO MANY POSSIBILITIES AT YOUR DOORSTEP YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!

    Focus on you. Just you. Not anyone else. Find your passions, pursue your dreams, live your life to the fullest. When you are focusing on activities you love to do the anxiety subsides because there's no time to think about the anxiety.


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