Don't think I can move out of mom's house anytime soon

I'm scared I won't be able to afford to move out of mom's house. Saving isn't going well because I got the blood clot and have added medical expenses now. My boss says it's likely the guy taking over his office will keep me on a secretary, which is good news. It's a further drive but job security matters to me. At the very least I have to postpone it, mom said good when I told her I wouldn't be moving out in June. She likes the company. The dog helps but I'm human contact and she's a very social person. I do feel like I need to get out on my own, it's a very strong urge, but I can't make things line up.

I make descent money but the cost of living is so high. I've looked in room rentals and well that's not really working for me mom's is better because it'd be very awkward living in someone else's home. So I do need to get an apartment and because of my daughter it has to be a 2 bedroom, my credit is rental good now so I can get approved for an inexpensive rental, but I don't have the money for the deposit even yet. Let alone additional savings. Have to pay down debt that's accumulating because of songwriting. I was able to open a bank account recently that's been a hindrance to say the least. So slowly things are improving but I want faster improvement. I'm starting to think I have a problem with financial management. But I do have good credit, when I'm managing my own affairs. I just have many expenses. Guess I have to see what I can cut out. Get to live the high life living at mom's have to go bare bones living on my own.

This transition period is hard. Bare bones at moms. Cut out everything. No paper, no cable, no netflix, no spotify, no meals out, no new clothes - only 2nd hand (and btw its the only way many high powered, wealthy women shop), no starbucks. Recycle your things in 2nd hand stores or ebay.

Talk to a non profit for help re medical expenses. There are some little known resources to help with that.

Yeah I just did caribou today. Those are the little perks I need to cut out for sure though it's not a daily thing just a weekly thing. I need new shoes but I'll have to see what I can find at GoodWill or something. No meals out will be tough we are renovating right now she's planning to sell the house. I'm rethinking August I can move. Not sure what I'll have for savings but I know I can cut a couple things out of my budget by July and that will be helpful. I did a rental budget and a current budget. Current I should have tons of extra money. I have to pay better attention to where it goes.

If you are in the US, and tell them you cannot pay the full amount, they will always negotiate down. My buddy had a $12K bill, said he couldn't pay it, and they lowered it to $280.00. That's the US health system for you.

Jetta, you always move out waaay to quickly. Consider yourself lucky that your Mom still wants you there, focus on long range goals rather than sprinting to do the same mistakes you keep making.

Head high, you can do this.

Its okay to not move out! Get yourself in order. Don't be so eager to move. Get your life in order and don't worry about moving. Get your health in order - mentally and physically. Focus on any extra training you can get to get a more secure job if that's what you need. You need to get through a year of not jumping into a relationship as well.

I'm still struggling with the break up. I toss and turn all night thinking about him. I've been looking at getting your ex back programs that are helping me focus on myself rather than him. But my development takes time and I don't have patience. For now I'm helping mom pack up the house, she wants me to help her find another house. I should focus on turning my lyrics into songs, than I don't have to pay to get it done. But I get distracted easily. I wrote a few songs about the ex boyfriend. He was good for material. LOL

I'm still struggling with the break up. I toss and turn all night thinking about him. I've been looking at getting your ex back programs that are helping me focus on myself rather than him. But my development takes time and I don't have patience. For now I'm helping mom pack up the house, she wants me to help her find another house. I should focus on turning my lyrics into songs, than I don't have to pay to get it done. But I get distracted easily. I wrote a few songs about the ex boyfriend. He was good for material. LOL

Ditch the "programs to get your ex back". Focus on the programs that talk about "how to get on your own two feet, how to learn how to have good boundaries, how to achieve better mental health/physical well being, how to manage your finances, how to get shared custody of your child again vs just visits from time to time."

You are going to toss and turn. Its normal and a natural part of grieving the end of something. The biggest gift to you is to learn patience/learn how to manage when you can't have what you want because sometimes what you want is not what's best for you.

I think its great that mom still wants you to be with her. I think that helping her pack could distract you from thinking about your ex (who was not good for you).

Please do not waste money on "Get your ex back" scams! You will lose that money and you will not get your ex back.

I don't understand, why does it cost money for you to write songs? And how is having a bank account costing you money?

Anyway, it's better to wait a few extra months and be more settled than to rush into it before you're truly ready and end up losing the apartment.

I'm starting to think I have a problem with financial management. But I do have good credit, when I'm managing my own affairs. I just have many expenses. Guess I have to see what I can cut out. Get to live the high life living at mom's have to go bare bones living on my own.

Ditch any expenses for song writing. People should pay YOU for your material if its good - you shouldn't be paying other people. Forget about it completely and focus on things that are making money. You are not ready to live on your own if you have to go "bare bones." Right now, you need to spend the money on your health and nutritious food and you need to pay down your debt vs creating more by living on your own. If you do not live with mom, you are going to run into the arms of another man in order to not live alone. So stick with mom and even take a class on debt management from a legit source. Maybe even the job skill bank has it.

Well I'm thinking about what you all said and it's looking like I'll be at mom's for another year. That will give me the savings I need based on estimates. And having that cushion makes me feel comfortable financially.

Well I'm thinking about what you all said and it's looking like I'll be at mom's for another year. That will give me the savings I need based on estimates. And having that cushion makes me feel comfortable financially.

That's a very wise idea. And in a year, check to see where you are at -- if you also have a job that can comfortably cover rent, expenses and the ability to put money in an emergency fund, you are all set. And then swear off men for the first year of being on your own as well.

And it may not end up being a year. If you tighten your belt a bit on the "living the high life at Mom's", you might end up having enough in 8 months or so.

It's really a matter of what is more important to you...living the high life at Mom's or getting your own place.

And please don't waste time or effort on either trying to "get" the most recent man back or trying to find a new one. That isn't a priority right now, it's just a distraction.

And it may not end up being a year. If you tighten your belt a bit on the "living the high life at Mom's", you might end up having enough in 8 months or so.

 

It's really a matter of what is more important to you...living the high life at Mom's or getting your own place.

 

And please don't waste time or effort on either trying to "get" the most recent man back or trying to find a new one. That isn't a priority right now, it's just a distraction.

Or it could be a year and a half. Who knows. But don't even let the thought cross your mind until a year has passed - focus on all the other stuff. Its not just money that makes you ready to live on your own.

If you can also save up enough money - an emergency fund - that has 6 months of bills in it just in case something happens - that's even better. Even if you have three months saved. Don't move out with no savings - don't only save your first/last/security

Check out Dave Ramsey's books and podcast. Get out of debt and then move out!! You can do it. Half of it is believing that you can

I'm curious what your expenses are.

Have you ever thought about creating a budget for yourself? Where is your money going? I'm assuming you're not paying rent at your Mom's (bad assumption?). So where is it going? If you're working full-time, not paying rent, and don't have some ridiculous car payment, saving enough to move out on your own doesn't seem unrealistic...assuming you're not living somewhere outlandishly expensive. There are apps that can help you keep track of things (until you figure out where it's all going). 30% to rent is a reasonable number. More than that, and things will start to get tight in a hurry. Can take time to figure out some concrete numbers? 1. What are you spending on now? 2. What will you need to live on your own? 3. Where can you afford to cut back?

I don't know your specific circumstances in terms of the numbers. Are you working for minimum wage? Do you work part-time because you have a daughter?

Being more frugal can be a satisfying way of life, especially if it helps to create a sense of independence. I think step one is more awareness of your spending habits. What's most important to you?

Well I'm thinking about what you all said and it's looking like I'll be at mom's for another year. That will give me the savings I need based on estimates. And having that cushion makes me feel comfortable financially.

Shopping for a new house with Mom might land you in surroundings that actually make you inspired and comfortable. Best of luck with this, and enjOy house shopping knowing that it's not your mortgage to handle. This could be a very exciting time for both you and Mom. It could build some better bonds between the two of you. Focus on making it a fabulous experience for HER, and you'll surprise yourself with how that will translate into a great one for you, too. Your help in this area will mean more to your Mom than you can possibly imagine. Milk it, honey!

Head high.

I pay her rent. I owe her money, mom loves money and no one lives for free she says.

I pay her rent. I owe her money, mom loves money and no one lives for free she says.

She's right to charge rent. What you're paying for has value.