Case of the ex

Lately I've been listening a lot about regrets, basically saying you regret what you didn't do more then what you did do! My ex contacted me about a month ago apologising for his behaviour and kind of asking to start afresh (been a year since we spoke), I was skeptical and accidently made him think I was tricking him and playing a joke on him by accepting his apology (long story) and he got upset and thought it wasn't me and ended up contacting my brother saying that my other ex was harassing him (it was me) anyway it really bothers me and I want to tell him that it was me and it was just a miscommunication but the only reason I can't is I worry he will tell my brother again (and my family would be furious if they know I spoke to him!) but it's really bothering me, I just don't know what to do... I miss him so much and when he contacted me It was like a miracle and I stuffed it up, now I don't know what to do? I'm scared I'll regret this forever not straightening it out but all my friends say to just leave it? Have you ever regretted leaving something unsaid?

Just let it be. It serves no purpose.

You need to block.

Just let it be. It serves no purpose.

 

You need to block.

It might serve a purpose, blocking didn't help.

Going by your history with this guy, it would be best to leave things be. Seriously, just leave him alone and move on already. Learn from this.

Going by your history with this guy, it would be best to leave things be. Seriously, just leave him alone and move on already. Learn from this.

It's easier said then done, I've tried so hard to and it always come back to him. Learn what from this?

Because you chose to communicate. If you blocked and deleted his number, then you wouldn't have this problem. Why do you keep on reengaging in this drama.?

You are not helpless. Plus, your family does not accept him. Are you going to date in secret?

Because you chose to communicate. If you blocked and deleted his number, then you wouldn't have this problem. Why do you keep on reengaging in this drama.?

 

You are not helpless. Plus, your family does not accept him. Are you going to date in secret?

He contacted me on a dating site, I don't know why he just gets to me and he seemed apologetic and totally different. But no I couldn't date him in secret I'm too close to my family to do that, I guess it would be easier to move on if I had options I was interested in.

No! Simple reason being you've been trying to date, you're feeling down on yourself, so you'd be reaching out for the wrong reasons. You're wanting this because you're feeling rejected by these other guys. Push forward. I suppose if you ever run into him, you can be like "hey, about that, sorry I was joking with you, it wasn't right to do" and leave it at that.

I don't know why your family dislikes him, but if there's good reason, then don't bother.

No! Simple reason being you've been trying to date, you're feeling down on yourself, so you'd be reaching out for the wrong reasons. You're wanting this because you're feeling rejected by these other guys. Push forward. I suppose if you ever run into him, you can be like "hey, about that, sorry I was joking with you, it wasn't right to do" and leave it at that.

I don't know why your family dislikes him, but if there's good reason, then don't bother.

He contacted me before my dates so that is not the reason, I just feel so bad about it, like he opened up then thought I tricked him, I would never do that but now he thinks I did. Yes though there is good reason for my family not to like him, I couldn't put them through it again, I will push on through, I just hope one day I don't regret it!

You need to create those options by getting a nice profile and pics up on some dating apps. Start browsing and talking to guys and meeting up for coffee. You need to focus forward and not keep ruminating about the past and beating a dead horse.

You need to create those options by getting a nice profile and pics up on some dating apps. Start browsing and talking to guys and meeting up for coffee. You need to focus forward and not keep ruminating about the past and beating a dead horse.

I have done that without much success yet... I don't know, it's not just me flogging the dead horse he contacts me first all of the time, and he's had gfs since me too, It's just hard to forget about him. It's really not so easy to meet someone as most ppl make out!

Why isn't he blocked and deleted from your phone and social media?

it's not just me flogging the dead horse he contacts me first all of the time

Why isn't he blocked and deleted from your phone and social media?

He is/was, he contacted me on a dating site this time, and I couldn't help but respond as I wanted to see what he had to say..

Time to help yourself. Don't respond.

Time to help yourself. Don't respond.

I just feel like I need some closure or something it's on my mind 24/7 reeeeally hard to switch off and just forget about it!

I just can't let this go, I'm ready for the onslaught from here saying not too, but I feel like I have to at least say sorry for the miscommunication, it's really eating me up all these words unspoken and stopping me from moving forward completely. I don't know but isn't it better to get it out rather then stew over it for months??

I have done that without much success yet... I don't know, it's not just me flogging the dead horse he contacts me first all of the time, and he's had gfs since me too, It's just hard to forget about him. It's really not so easy to meet someone as most ppl make out!

I never thought it was easy to meet someone for a long term relationship. Who has said this to you? And "some people" will say anything of course. Obviously it is hard to meet someone, hard to forget about a person you cared about, and sometimes it's really hard to even get to work on time. It depends on whether the hard work is worth it. For me the hard work was worth it to get the relationship, family and career I wanted. And I still work hard to maintain all those things. Every day in one way or another. Try not to indulge in the "but it's hard" excuse. Decide if the goal is worth it, 100% at least. If it's not then it is "too hard".

I just can't let this go, I'm ready for the onslaught from here saying not too, but I feel like I have to at least say sorry for the miscommunication, it's really eating me up all these words unspoken and stopping me from moving forward completely. I don't know but isn't it better to get it out rather then stew over it for months??

more contact well just cause more pain, confusion, self doubt...

look to other areas of your life.

know its hard and respect the actions you take and the ones you choose not to do. wish him well in heart. know that you're doing this to help all involved.

If you are going to get angry because you have replied before please don't someone told me to post it in this thread as it's more appropriate so that's what I'm doing...

Basically my ex contacted me a month ago (after a year of being broken up due to a crazy situation) and he said he was sorry and he wanted to see if we could start over. This is not any ex, I truly loved him more then anything but he also happened to have some type of mental problem (manic depression) and had a crazy episode and I ended it and refused to talk to him again. Literally not a day goes by when I don't think of him, anyway when he contacted me I was really skeptical and said something to make him think I was tricking him and that I was back with my ex and he disappeared and got upset. So everyone says to leave it and I've tried but I can't stop thinking about it and the guilt is eating my away, I just want to tell him sorry if he thought I was tricking him, it's so hard to leave things unsaid like this. Is it really so bad if I do that? Everyone is making out like it is, but I feel like if I don't I will always have some regret and I don't like the feeling of regret. I really don't know what to do???

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