I feel left alone

Hi everyone, call me lazie. I'm the second daughter of three sibling. Im 20 years old.

well eversince i was a kid i have trouble to talk about my feeling and i don't really close to my parent. Well the exact opposite of my elder sister. She's so talkative, she's so adorable and well everyone like her wherever shes going. I dont live with them, im studying abroad.

well we had a family group chat, but whenever i pop up, nobody really respond, opposite if my sis was pop up. and i also often told to be act like adult. my mom always called and text my older sister too, well if shes called me shes just gonna ask about my sis if my sis out of reach, she rarely asked about me.

so recently our family had some problem with money, we even using our livesaving. i tried to understand the situation and never ask allowance for things like dress, make up or anything. but my sister asked for it and my father give her money.

sometimes i feel wronged.

i feel that im not belong in this family.

i wanna tell them what i felt, but i'm afraid that i'll just told to understand again, juat like last time when i sad how i felt.

i'm so sad, help.

Well, you're an adult. You can take care of yourself and you don't need your family for support. Finish school. Get a job. Make something of yourself. That's the best thing you can do.

Oh how I know that feeling. Feeling like you are the second best? Always in your sister's shadow? I was raised like this and recently started therapy only to realise that it was the root of most of my adult problems. You are young so therapy will literally save your life right now. I hope you can get some sort of free therapy in the country you study. If not, I would seriously consider getting a job to pay for it and even take a year off your studies to do so. Even though I'm giving this sort of advise, it's a HARD decision; not one to be taken lightly, I just want to point out how important it is to figure your feelings out right now. I hope you can juggle both studies and work, that'd be the best.

Read up on middle children. If you're in school, use the mental health counselling services covered by your tuition. Learn coping skills and ways to push yourself beyond a middle child role into the liberation of adulthood.