Is this a rebound relationship?

Quick facts: my ex-girlfriend dumped me in December for a new guy she'd been working with for about a month. Long story short, she'd been seeing him behind my back and in December, told me she was leaving me for him. Our relationship had been a little rocky for a couple months during this time, but we were supposedly working through it and discussing engagement when she hit me with this news.

December 7, breaks up with me, immediately leases him an apartment and moves in with him, starts telling him she loves him the first week, start talking marriage immediately, start making all their life's plans together. The new guy is a complete and total opposite from me in almost every way (homeless, no education, drug user, criminal history, no job, etc).

Considering she was seeing him while we were still together, and she left me for him and immediately entered into an extremely serious relationship with him right away, would this be a rebound? How likely to succeed?

It shouldn't really matter.

Getting worked up over what she does is just going to make it that much harder.

She dumped you for another guy and apparently had been cheating on you to some degree.

You should have nothing to do with such a trashy ex girlfriend so any chance of reconciliation would be a terrible thing for you.

Move on and stop caring.

P.S. obviously a rebound and very very unlikely to succeed. But don't either worry about that.

Who cares? Ask yourself, would you want to be with a person that displayed such behavior?

It shouldn't really matter.

 

Getting worked up over what she does is just going to make it that much harder.

 

She dumped you for another guy and apparently had been cheating on you to some degree.

 

You should have nothing to do with such a trashy ex girlfriend so any chance of reconciliation would be a terrible thing for you.

 

Move on and stop caring.

 

P.S. obviously a rebound and very very unlikely to succeed. But don't either worry about that.

Thanks! I have moved on and know not to take her back after behavior like this. The main point of this post is just to get other points of view as to whether this is actually a rebound relationship, etc.

Thanks! I have moved on and know not to take her back after behavior like this. The main point of this post is just to get other points of view as to whether this is actually a rebound relationship, etc.

That was my only point.

Sorry to hear this. She was seeing him for a while and cheating so he's not a rebound.

she'd been seeing him behind my back and in December, told me she was leaving me for him.

I wouldn't really consider it a rebound. In my mind, that is generally the territory of a dumpee who is desperately seeking to the fill the void left behind by an ex and will go with just about anyone to try to take away the pain. That isn't why she went to him; she was cheating and wanted to be with him - she entered a relationship with him for a reason different from most rebounders.

Now, to be clear, that's not to say her new relationship will succeed. A relationship doesn't need to be a "rebound" to fail. It doesn't appear to have the stuff of a lasting and happy union, but that is something she will likely learn the hard way.

My ex cheated and then left me for the girl he had been cheating with.

Eight years later, they're still together..

Do you hope it's a rebound?

I think it's considered a rebound if the relationship is started quickly by the person who has been dumped and is desperately searching for someone to fill the void. When they find someone else, cheat on you and then leave you for that person...not so much. Whether or not it lasts is unknown, but when you have truly moved on you won't care what happens with them...at all. Also - you posted this in "getting back together," an indicator that you haven't really moved on - but that's okay, you will get there.

Not a rebound. She is also a cheat and a liar.

I hope You don't want her back?

Thanks! I have moved on and know not to take her back after behavior like this. The main point of this post is just to get other points of view as to whether this is actually a rebound relationship, etc.

Why would it matter?

Not a rebound. She is also a cheat and a liar.

 

I hope You don't want her back?

No, but I do and always will still care for her and want the best for her. I know she thinks she's found some awesome guy, but I know guys like this and I know how the story ends, and it's just a matter of time before her house of cards shatters down, so just from the standpoint of someone who will always care about her, and even considering all the pain she put me through, I don't wish bad on her. So yeah, I wish the relationship would end, but I wouldn't take her back.

How come she's been working with him for the last month if he hasn't got a job? Or is he a client in some capacity?

Whatever, he sounds a first class, grade A1 loser and obviously serves some need that she has! Move on, don't look back and get on with your own life!

How come she's been working with him for the last month if he hasn't got a job? Or is he a client in some capacity?

 

Whatever, he sounds a first class, grade A1 loser and obviously serves some need that she has! Move on, don't look back and get on with your own life!

It's complicated, but his step-dad owned a strip club (where my ex was working) and he was living in the back room of it, until his step-dad kicked him out and he started living on the streets.

No, but I do and always will still care for her and want the best for her. I know she thinks she's found some awesome guy, but I know guys like this and I know how the story ends, and it's just a matter of time before her house of cards shatters down, so just from the standpoint of someone who will always care about her, and even considering all the pain she put me through, I don't wish bad on her. So yeah, I wish the relationship would end, but I wouldn't take her back.

Really! After she lied and cheated on you. She sounds awful!

Your ex is a stripper? They sound like they deserve one another.

Aim higher.

Really! After she lied and cheated on you. She sounds awful!

 

Your ex is a stripper?

She's not my favorite person, or even someone I consider a friend now, but hey, I don't wish bad on people.

And no not a stripper, a waitress in a strip club. Same difference, though.

But you're hoping her relationship fails.

With friends like that.........

With friends like that.........

If you want, you can read the full story here: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=547129

Is the the one that wanted to be a trophy wife?

Is the the one that wanted to be a trophy wife?

Correct lol

"Dated my ex for almost 3 years. I'm a lawyer, she was in college. Dropped out of college and I took care of her, we lived together, traveled together, bought her everything her heart desired and we spent nearly all our time together. Definitely a 9/10 girl. However, very VERY clingy, insecure, needy, etc. Looked to me to completely fulfill her happiness. No job, no real friends, etc. She was head over heels about me and talked all the time about getting married. Also, I am her first love and the longest relationship she's ever had."

What was attractive about this dynamic? The woman is a loser.

No offense, but this says more about you, than her.

"Dated my ex for almost 3 years. I'm a lawyer, she was in college. Dropped out of college and I took care of her, we lived together, traveled together, bought her everything her heart desired and we spent nearly all our time together. Definitely a 9/10 girl. However, very VERY clingy, insecure, needy, etc. Looked to me to completely fulfill her happiness. No job, no real friends, etc. She was head over heels about me and talked all the time about getting married. Also, I am her first love and the longest relationship she's ever had."

 

What was attractive about this dynamic? The woman is a loser.

 

No offense, but this says more about you, than her.

I was thinking with my heart, not my head. That's all I can say. I think that dynamic is eventually what led to us becoming somewhat distant in the month preceeding the breakup. I honestly began to feel bitterness towards her, in that I was the one literally doing and being responsible for everything, and never felt any gratitude or the same sense of affection. For example, on the Valentines days we were together, I went literally all out for her, and she didn't do a thing for me, not even a card/letter; nothing. Birthdays, christmas, the same. It got to the point where I was frustrated, voiced to her my frustrations and asked that she do more to show me that she genuinely loves and cares about me, and about 3 weeks after that conversation I was told that she was leaving me for the new guy.

The woman has nothing to offer. How would you see this woman as being wife material? She doesn't even have any friends or ambition. I can't imagine how limiting the conversation would be.

How were you able to integrate her into your profession (dinners, functions)? I would think that she would have nothing in common with your colleagues wives and gfs.

The woman has nothing to offer. How would you see this woman as being wife material? She doesn't even have any friends or ambition. I can't imagine how limiting the conversation would be.

 

How were you able to integrate her into your profession (dinners, functions)? I would think that she would have nothing in common with your colleagues wives and gfs.

Apparently her ambition is to live a low-class life in the ghetto, forego any formal education and work 2-3 waitressing jobs to pay her and her boyfriend's new bills. Quite some aspiratoins, huh?