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Thread: Question Re Messaging and Initiating

  1. #1
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    Question Re Messaging and Initiating

    So here is my question.

    If a guy and girl meet on line and begin messaging (*he* initiated) and they're sort of volleying back and forth, getting on really well, he asks for a date, she says yes (no specific day or time set yet) but then immediately after that, he suddenly and unexpectedly decided to stop messaging (respond to her last message), would it be up to *her* at that point to initiate?

    Or should she conclude that he wasn't serious about the date (meeting her in person) and has ghosted her?

    Ladies what would you do if this happened to you? .

    And men, if you were the guy, would you want/expect her to step up and initiate?

    Just joined a dating site and this happened, not sure what to do, we were getting on REALLY well!

    Thanks!!

  2. #2
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    It's up to him to text since he didn't reply to the last one. That's the problem with meeting online, interest can be put elsewhere because they are looking at/messaging others as well. I wouldn't bother, I'd reply only if he makes contact again.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by SweetGirl28
    It's up to him to text since he didn't reply to the last one. That's the problem with meeting online, interest can be put elsewhere because they are looking at/messaging others as well. I wouldn't bother, I'd reply only if he makes contact again.
    Thx SG, it's just so weird though since he had just asked me out, then essentially disappeared.

    Do men just enjoy the ego boost of a women saying yes? And like I said, we were getting on so well, why not meet just to see?

    I should know the answer to this question! Of course they do!

    New to OLD, so Ty.

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    How long have you been waiting for him to respond to you? If it's a matter of a few hours, then you are impatient. How do you know he isnt busy?

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    How long have you been waiting for him to respond to you? If it's a matter of a few hours, then you are impatient. How do you know he isnt busy?
    Four days. Just seems weird so not sure if I should send something.

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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Thx SG, it's just so weird though since he had just asked me out, then essentially disappeared.

    Do men just enjoy the ego boost of a women saying yes? And like I said, we were getting on so well, why not meet just to see?

    I should know the answer to this question! Of course they do!

    New to OLD, so Ty.
    I've read in posts here that when guys get a response of "yes" to a date, they won't text again until they are ready to set up a time to meet. I guess if you like him, and he replies, then go for it. I personally have not responded to several guys which I know is not right but I do lose interest easily. Especially with texting. How long were you doing that? Maybe too much time passed. Guys don't typically want a texting buddy, especially when they are talking to others, which is possible because of being on a dating site.

    And ya, of course they like the ego boost. A male friend of mine "collects" women this way, gets their interest, then picks who he wants. If it doesn't work, he will contact another one that he already has hanging on the line. He p***** me off lol because it's unfair to make someone think you have an interest and then keep them hanging, waiting for a text/call.

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    I've been doing OLD on and off for a number of years, so my advice is based on my experience: Move on.

    If he ghosted you after you agreed to a meeting, it likely means he's either married or otherwise involved and wanted an ego boost, which you provided. Let's see if I can get the pretty girl to say yes.

    If you're still seeing him online after this, then that means he's moved on to other targets.

    Could be his old girlfriend came back in the picture. Could be that his photos are really old, and that he looks nothing like them now.

    Could mean a lot of things.

    What it doesn't mean is, that he actually wants to meet you in person.

    I'm sorry, this is disappointing. BTDT waaaaaaaaaay too many times to count.

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    4 days?? I'd delete him, but I'm like that, I hate my time wasted.
    Didn't you just break up with your BF? Go out with gf's and meet guys in real life. I think it's better.
    You see what you're getting, and you're not wasting time with mindless chit chat waiting for a meet up.

  10. #9
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    @LHgirl, thx, yeah this is what I figured.

    Not used to this!!! LOL

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by SweetGirl28
    4 days?? I'd delete him, but I'm like that, I hate my time wasted.
    Didn't you just break up with your BF? Go out with gf's and meet guys in real life. I think it's better.
    You see what you're getting, and you're not wasting time with mindless chit chat waiting for a meet up.
    I meet plenty of guys IRL, in fact that's how I've met all the guys I've dated/had relationships with.

    Just thought I'd try OLD for something new and hopefully fun.

    I have a date with a guy I met IRL later this afternoon!

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