Questioning my relationship of 5 years ... PLEASE HELP

my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I'm 26, he's 27. We met when we were both in University and we hit it off instantly. We started living together within a few months of starting our relationship and have been living together ever since. From the minute we met I knew we were meant to be. He is always sweet, thoughtful, kind, generous, loving, supportive (the list goes on). He is everything I've ever dreamed of; he's my partner in life and my best friend. We've talked about our future together: kids, house, etc. We have a dog together. We share pretty much everything in life. The thought of being with him for the rest of my life felt more right than anything I'd ever known, and up until recently I didn't question it for a second.

I was accepted to a post-grad program halfway across the world from him - an opportunity of a lifetime - and it's been two months so far that we've been apart. He was always incredibly supportive of me attending this program and never made me feel bad or guilty for choosing to move halfway across the world for a year (the duration of my program). He knew how much it meant to me to attend this program. He thought of coming with me for the year but did not want to risk losing his job which he had worked so hard for. Before I left, we decided to stay together; it was a no-brainer. We couldn't imagine life without each other, and even though I'd be far away, we knew we could make it work. He had planned to come visit in halfway through the year and again for my graduation. Everything seemed like it would work out.

I knew it would be hard being away from him for many reasons. We lived with each other back home, and so we were spending every minute with each other when we weren't at work. We've had some long-distance experience throughout our relationship as he moves around a lot for work, so sometimes we would go months without seeing each other. He is my best friend. I knew that it would take time to adjust to the absence of him, especially in a physical sense. I've really started missing him in a sexual way but also just missed having any physical contact in general ie. hugs, cuddles, etc.

These last couple of weeks have been increasingly difficult. This is where I need advice... my boyfriend has never done anything to make me doubt him. He has always been faithful and trustworthy 100%. But it's like with this distance between us, I'm starting to doubt my previous beliefs that we were meant to be together forever... I met a guy at a party recently and we really seemed to hit it off. I have butterflies when I think about him and we've been texting and making plans to hang out. I haven't had feelings like that about someone since the first time I met my current boyfriend. I realize that I could be just excited about the fact that someone is paying attention to me and Ive been deprived of male attention like that for a couple of months now... and Im not saying that I think this new guy is the one I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life... but I feel that this absence between me and my boyfriend has given me space and time to think and what if we aren't meant to be? part of me wants to take a break with my boyfriend just to figure some things out but I don't want to hurt him. I know he would be so confused and hurt because he hasn't done anything wrong and is just the sweetest human being but I don't know what to do. It's scary to think of my life without him because we've been together for 5 years, but part of me now is wondering if ???? is it selfish of me to want a break to see how I truly feel???

is there anyone out there who has had similar experiences!? I would really appreciate hearing your story... I'm feeling very alone and confused about my feelings and would love any advice anyone has to share.

please help

Break up with your bf rather than cheat on him.

I was accepted to a post-grad program halfway across the world from him - an opportunity of a lifetime - and it's been two months so far that we've been apart. I'm starting to doubt my previous beliefs that we were meant to be together forever... I met a guy at a party recently and we really seemed to hit it off. I have butterflies when I think about him and we've been texting and making plans to hang out.

You are only going to be away for a year to finish your education. You promised your boyfriend to stay together and make it through the LDR, yet you broke the promise.

I met a guy at a party recently and we really seemed to hit it off. I have butterflies when I think about him and we've been texting and making plans to hang out.

In other words, you are cheating. You did not tell this person that you are in a relationship, did you? You are justifying your action because you crave attention, which is ridiculous because 1. You have technology to do video chatting with your current bf and 2. If you were truly lonely you'd seek friendships.

How would you feel if it was the other way around? He started seeing another woman?

You should dump your boyfriend. You don’t love him and he deserves better.

Think it is quite common to hit crossroads at 3-5 year point in a relationship even if things are going pretty well. May be because at that point both parties need to make a long term commitment and more importantly be on the same page at the same time.

I do think that it would be healthier for your current and future relationship (if that is what you end up choosing) to stop playin both guys. Be honest otherwise it will come around to bite you. You can’t expect to keep your current bf while you are building new relationship behind his back that would make you a total . I mean think how you’d feel if someone did that to you? Anyways, it is your life - you got to do what you got to do just be honest about it.

Cheers

What would you say is lacking in your relationship?

I can understand missing the one-on-one time with him and the physical intimacy, but my guess is there is a deeper disconnect between you and your boyfriend that perhaps wasn't so noticeable until you were apart.

Do not make plans to hang out with this other guy. That won't go anywhere good. You're already playing with fire. If your desire to be around him is outweighing 5 years of being with your boyfriend, you need to step back from this and have a talk with your boyfriend about whether there is a future together anymore. It might be a passing crush, but you should absolutely be exercising better boundaries and not getting close to him in any case.

And do not call a "break" with your boyfriend to test-drive your crush. If you call it off, be a big girl and break up. Read other threads on here of broken-hearted dumpees who did everything they could to make their exes come back after calling a break, only to discover the real reason the break happened was so that the ex could try dating someone else. If you want to and intend to date other people, break up. Don't just ask for space and time.

Does this other guy know you are not single?

I have been in this type of situation before. I would not recommend spending any time with this new guy or even talking to him. It could end really badly.

You need to take time to decide if you still want to be with your boyfriend. After years it does get a bit stale sometimes and you might need to spice things up. See if there's something missing from your relationship that you guys can work on.

If you really want to pursue this new guy, break up with your boyfriend first. Don't start seeing the new guy while you are still with your boyfriend. Even if it's just meeting up as friends don't do it because it's hard to make the right decision sometimes in the heat of the moment and if you are really attracted to this guy you could end up cheating in some way.