Why does my BF keep cancelling plans?

Ive been with him for about 6 months now; and at the start it was great and we always stuck to plans. But for the last couple of months he has been cancelling and moving our plans for the most ridiculous reasons. I started making him arrange the plans, but that hasn't helped at all. He cancels very last minute! Today we had plans, and just as i was about to leave, he cancelled because 'its a bit late..' Its Saturday and was about 3pm, in what world is that late???

Other times he's been ill, had a headache, or just too tired. Usually he would at least tell me before i get ready!

I just don't know what to do, i don't think I'm over reacting? Considering i actually dressed up and wasted make up I'm pretty p' off.

I don't want to break up with him over something so little; but it really does hurt my feelings.

I don't want to break up with him over something so little; but it really does hurt my feelings.

It's not little if he's been doing this for months. He's purposely blowing you off.

thanks for the quick reply! .... I guess secretly ive known this for a while, but admitting it is a different story... Is there something i can do? :/

You aren't over-reacting and it's not little if this is happening a lot.

Have you told him how much this bothers you? If you have and he hasn't changed, then I think you need to reconsider the relationship as his interest level seems low.

Here is what I would do. Say "if you cancel plans again and it's not for a life and death reason I am not going to make one on one plans with you again unless you promise to treat me with respect by keeping our plan and I see that happening in reality from now on."

If you say that nicely and evenly and with no back story or apology he will respond with an apology and a promise to change if he is interested in keeping the relationship.

You aren't overreacting. He isn't investing in your relationship.

Actions speak louder than words, and right now he's making you feel as if he doesn't care.

Your boyfriend cancelling plans is so much more than just cancellation of plans, and he has to understand this.

If he doesn't, find someone who does. Otherwise, you're wasting your time.

It's not little. It is disrespectful and inconsiderate. You are not a priority.

Expect more from you bfs. Dump him. He does not value you.

It sounds like he's lost interest in the relationship. Sorry. I guess he's hoping you'll be "the bad guy" and break it off so he doesn't have to.

Prior to him beginning this baffling behavior, had you guys discussed becoming more serious about your relationship or kicking it up another level?

If so, he may be experiencing some sort of anxiety (and panic) about committing.

Every time he makes a plan, his anxiety kicks in and he needs to cancel to alleviate it (the anxiety) often with an elaborate excuse that makes absolutely no sense.

He sounds conflicted. Wanting to see you but wanting to get away at the same time.

If it were me I would talk to him and ask him if there is any truth to that.

My guess is fear is at the root.

You sure he's your boyfriend?

Ive been with him for about 6 months now; and at the start it was great and we always stuck to plans. But for the last couple of months he has been cancelling and moving our plans for the most ridiculous reasons. I started making him arrange the plans, but that hasn't helped at all. He cancels very last minute! Today we had plans, and just as i was about to leave, he cancelled because 'its a bit late..' Its Saturday and was about 3pm, in what world is that late???

 

Other times he's been ill, had a headache, or just too tired. Usually he would at least tell me before i get ready!

 

I just don't know what to do, i don't think I'm over reacting? Considering i actually dressed up and wasted make up I'm pretty p' off.

 

I don't want to break up with him over something so little; but it really does hurt my feelings.

Over "something so little?" This is not little. This is either a guy with too many issues to be in a relationship or a guy that isn't interested enough to advance this past games.

At the six month mark he is showing you that he's not capable of nurturing a relationship with you (for whatever reason) and that is good enough reason for you to walk. Don't let anyone show you repeatedly that they don't value you.

A guy I'd been dating for close to a year started doing something similar, except he just wouldn't even make plans. He'd just say "Let's just see what's going on and if both of us aren't busy maybe we can do something". Turns out he was dating someone else (and ended up moving in with her!) but didn't want me to know because he wanted to keep me on the side.

How far away do the two of you live from one another? Is someone else in the picture a possibility? Have you discussed being an exclusive, committed couple?