Is a relationship pretty serious if a guy takes you out to eat with his family?

How serious is a relationship when your boyfriend wants you to meet their family after six months of dating?

It’s been weird because his ex told me they’ve had sex since we started dating and that he has said negative things to her about me in the past.

Yet I met his family last week.

Is this the real deal?

It really depends.

For some men, yes it does mean he is serious.

For other men, they are not sure about you and want to know what their family thinks.

For other men, they are lazy. They can't say no if mom and dad want to go out on your normal date night, or its more convenient for him if you all show up at once.

For other men, they cannot/refuse to do anything without all of their family and the first few dates alone with you were atypical

If he invites you to have dinner with his family on the second date, he probably has poor boundaries.

It was after six months of dating. I know he still answers his exes phone calls and in the past she has sent me messages about the negative things he told her about me.

It was after six months of dating. I know he still answers his exes phone calls and in the past she has sent me messages about the negative things he told her about me.

If he still talks to his ex and they don't have children together, then dinner with the parents does not mean he is serious because if he was, he would not be entertaining his ex and allowing her to contact you. Unless you knew the ex somehow independently of him through work or something, she should not have your contact info and he shared too much info about you so that she could figure out how to find you. to me, even if he popped the question, he isn't serious about you. Sorry. Meeting the parents might be a step, but its only superficial

He says he only answers the exes phone calls. He says he doesn’t reach out to her.

He doesn’t reach out to her but he won’t block her from talking to him. She messaged me on Facebook. He says he keep In contact because she is crazy.

I met all his friends and family and we spend the night often. I also saw messages of him telling his ex that he only checks her Snapchat stories to make her think that he still cares about her.

He doesn’t reach out to her but he won’t block her from talking to him. She messaged me on Facebook. He says he keep In contact because she is crazy.

 

I met all his friends and family and we spend the night often. I also saw messages of him telling his ex that he only checks her Snapchat stories to make her think that he still cares about her.

I am sorry, but you are being played. He "keeps in contact because she is crazy" - all the reason to BLOCK her. Spending the night means zilch. It means you are satisfying his want for sex - it does not mean he is committed. Don't be fooled. And she should NOT be contacting you.

Really? He told her to not contact him for like six months so they could heal but we have gotten really close since he said that. He still answers her calls though.

This is a red flag. Are you exclusive? Dating casually? People do hang out with fwb family get togethers, etc. This doesn't sound like an 'ex', it sounds like someone else he's still hanging out with.

he still answers his exes phone calls and in the past she has sent me messages about the negative things he told her about me.

Exclusive. We went to dinner with the family. They do not hang out and he seems annoyed by her calls. He will still talk to her for hours though. She has sent him texts like “you showed her to your family, you must really start to love her” and he says “if that means love then sure, whatever you’re torturing your mind”

“She also said that you don’t want us to work in the future anymore do you” and he said “literally that is the opposite of my main point”

Exclusive. We went to dinner with the family. They do not hang out and he seems annoyed by her calls. He will still talk to her for hours though. She has sent him texts like “you showed her to your family, you must really start to love her” and he says “if that means love then sure, whatever you’re torturing your mind”

“She also said that you don’t want us to work in the future anymore do you” and he said “literally that is the opposite of my main point”

Sadly, you seem like a third party to their ongoing relationship. A pawn to make her jealous. Clearly he welcomes and invites her contact, don't kid yourself.

He will still talk to her for hours

Well she always reaches out to him. He seems annoyed by it but still answers her calls all the time.

I met his family though. After like six to seven months of seeing each other.

Well, meeting the family sure doesn't mean much if it's true that he has been having sex with someone else on the side.

What is the back story here? How do you know his ex, and how much of her version do you believe?

EDIT: I just read your other thread. Meeting his family doesn't mean squat in this case.

Unfortunately he's using you as a pawn to make her jealous or get back with her and trotting you out to the family after 6 mos is all part of that.

This is much more significant:

He seems annoyed by it but still answers her calls all the time.

I met his family though.

He will say that she is annoying him and that she should call at another time and move on but says stuff like it would be silly for her to not want to ever see him again. Yet when she calls he is like okay if you wanna talk we will talk about the same thing about us trying to work on our issues but will make a time to talk on the phone

Unfortunately he's using you as a pawn to make her jealous or get back with her and trotting you out to the family after 6 mos is all part of that.

 

This is much more significant:Than this:

He will say that she is annoying him and that she should call at another time and move on but says stuff like it would be silly for her to not want to ever see him again. Yet when she calls he is like okay if you wanna talk we will talk about the same thing about us trying to work on our issues but will make a time to talk on the phone

She is the one who wants to get together but he tells her he wants to give me a chance and see if things work out. But he will still answer her calls and wanted to have a six month break to let their feelings settle but we have been dating in the meantime and I met his family.

You just created another thread asking this same question seven hours ago.

Please try and stick with the same thread, it can get confusing otherwise.

My answer is it depends.

In your case, no as it's very clear from what's posted in your other thread he is still into his EX.

Exactly. He's using you as cheap filler until they reconcile. Basically they are on break and he's still really with her sorting it out. This "met the family' nonsense is you trying to convince yourself otherwise.

he wants to give me a chance and see if things work out. But he will still answer her calls and wanted to have a six month break to let their feelings settle but we have been dating in the meantime and I met his family.

Exactly. He's using you as cheap filler until they reconcile. Basically they are on break and he's still really with her sorting it out. This "met the family' nonsense is you trying to convince yourself otherwise.

Why would he try to push her away (he doesn’t reach out to her) and then introduce me to the family and say he loves me?

It seems you are well aware of the truth but since you are over invested, simply don't want to believe it and are grasping at straws to convince yourself it's not just casual dating until they get back together.

I just do not understand how someone can tell someone they love someone else, have them hang with their friends, introduce me as their girlfriend to their family, etc. without it meaning anything meaningful.

He also refuses to block her. I’m pretty sure they mainly talk about our relationship. It isn’t like she is calling about her day or anything. He tells her to move on but to want to try in the future again.

I just do not understand how someone can tell someone they love someone else, have them hang with their friends, introduce me as their girlfriend to their family, etc. without it meaning anything meaningful.

Usually such a person is called a sociopath. It sounds like he's trying to make his ex jealous/hurt by using you until they get back together again.

Please tell me why you don't see him still contacting his ex and telling her he WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER IN THE FUTURE, while using you in the meantime (him stating to her he wants to "try you out"), mean he is NOT serious about you? The writing is on the wall here. If he really wanted to be with you he would stop contacting this ex in any capacity and would make you his girlfriend instead of just being exclusive. He can stop contact, but he doesn't want to and gives you a lame excuse in order to keep stringing you along (ex is "crazy", how classic -_-).

Edit: I am confused, so are you officially his girlfriend (aka in a committed relationship) or just exclusive (aka having only a sexual intimacy with each other, but not others, noncommittal)? You state both, so which is it? Regardless, this is not a good situation if he's still talking to his ex about bashing you and trying to work out their relationship problems while leading you on. Big no no!