Jump to content

deedee911

Recommended Posts

So I've been getting to know this guy for a few weeks now that I met online. We went out last weekend and had a great time. He hasn't called me once but he texts me every Day. What's up with that? Why can't people just pick up the phone and call. It is weird to me. It seems like the easy way out. Thoughts ?

Link to comment
  • Replies 53
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Agreed. It is the way of the world these days.

There’s nothing wrong with just saying that you don’t feel like texting - but hey - does he want to just call?

I’ve had to do this in my last few relationships. Lol! It’s just what people do.

 

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want...

Link to comment

It's weird. I've run into a number of Millennials who just won't call on the phone. They seem to be afraid of personal interaction. But they will text. Text. Text. Text. We had a young client who only wanted to text us. It took about 30 minutes to get through a conversation we could have had in 5 minutes on the phone. We dropped him as a client.

 

So I'm not surprised your guy is not calling. You could try calling him and condition him to call you back. But you're going to have to train him!

Link to comment
Personally, I have no problem with texting instead of calling...

 

Same, and contrary to standard popular belief, texting/emailing can be and often is, quite personal.

 

Some (even many) people feel more comfortable expressing thoughts/feelings via the written word versus verbally.

 

I am one of them. I often become tongue-tied and nervous with verbal expression, depending on the situation. I know others who are the same.

 

It's the same in business, I find I am much more articulate and express myself better when emailing than when verbally speaking to someone, whether it's my boss, client, co-worker.

 

There is really no wrong or right, it's a preference.

 

If you prefer talking on phone, then tell him that! :D

Link to comment

If he hasn't asked you on a date -time and place -then I wouldn't give him the privilege of texting with you like a chat buddy. Simply text back that you're too busy to text and you look forward to speaking with him in person if he'd like to make another plan (or simply "I don't have much time to text back and forth but if you want to talk by phone let me know" -then during the phone call see if he makes a plan to see you). If you do have another date planned and you prefer the phone tell him that or call him.

Link to comment

Some people feel more comfortable texting there is nothing wrong with that, just tell him you prefer to engage via phone call, if he is interested and mature he will call you

it is as simple as that really !

 

I am more of a texter, find it more to the point and I don't really like spending hours on the phone, but my last GF told me that she didn't like texting so I said okay I will

call you and eventually none of our conversations would be less than an hour long, because I liked her.

Link to comment

After one date, all that matters is if he's setting up another date whether that is through texting, calling, smoke signals, etc. Daily texting/calling means nothing without the desire to see you in person again.

I've been getting to know this guy for a few weeks now that I met online. We went out last weekend and had a great time. He hasn't called me once but he texts me every Day.
Link to comment

We went out on our first date on last Friday. He did tell me he would like to see me again but made no plans with me. Yesterday he messaged me asking me if I have any plans for the evening I said no just going to walk my dog that is it. And he said he had no plans either. So I took the first step and asked him if he would like to join. He asked me if he could get back to me in about an hour. I was thinking to myself hmm ok. In one hour he gets back to me via text and says he's going to have to pass. And he would like a rain check. Because he is tired and would like to rest. Then he says he would like to see me this week though. But he made no plans with me! I honestly have my weekend filled up already with plans as he didn't bother to arrange anything with me earlier in the week. Thoughts? Could this be a red flag?

Link to comment

Unfortunately he keeps not making plans and just wanted a last minute hookup. Don't invite guys to your place after one meet. No red flags, just low interest and both of you are multidating, so?

We went out on our first date. He did tell me he would like to see me again but made no plans with me. Then he says he would like to see me this week though. But he made no plans with me!
Link to comment

No no. I don't want to invite him to my place! I just don't like that he is waiting till the last minute to make a plan with me. Another guy that I'm dating right away asked me to meet up again after we went out. I felt a lot different in the sense that I was sure that he was interested and serious. With this guy he seems really interested and is very consistent with his texting but I don't think he realizes my worth yet. Honestly I don't feel interested in him anymore. I don't want to be his little texting buddy. I know my worth and value and deserve a lot better more serious treatment.

Link to comment

>>I don't think he realizes my worth yet

 

^What does this even mean, you've only had ONE date!

 

A man doesn't "realize" your worth.

 

You realize and value your *own* worth and as such choose to only associate with and date people who treat you the way *you* wish to be treated based on your own *self-worth.*

 

IF you don't like the way he or any man treats you, then NEXT.

 

It's really that simple.

 

I'm so tired of these cliches from both genders - "he doesn't "value" me," "he doesn't realize my worth," "she needs to "prove" her value - both genders essentially needing to "qualify" each other.

 

For the love of *, just date and if you feel an attraction/chemistry, enjoy spending time, then do so!

 

Relax! And allow everything to flow naturally and "organically." If you don't like how it's going, then move on.

 

Do men and women even like each other anymore? I mean not even just to date, but as fellow human beings; I am seriously beginning to wonder.

 

We're all in this together guys, let's give each other a freakin break!

 

Rant over. :)

Link to comment

He sent me a good morning text and I had no desire to respond. I'm not trying to be rude but I've lost interest because he hasn't asked me out again time and place. And I think after I invited him to go for a walk with me the least he could of done is called me to explain he was feeling tired and taken that opportunity to set a date for the weekend. But he didn't. He is 35 and it doesn't scream to me that he is serious which is fine just not what I'm looking for.

Link to comment

OP, when he said he would like to see you this week, how did you respond?

 

"I'd love to, what did you have in mind"?

 

"Sounds fun, when were you thinking"?

 

Remember, men have insecurities too and he may be as unsure of you just as you are with him.

 

He initiates texts with you *every day,* is making the effort to communicate and connect with you, suggested getting together again, and you're ragging on him because he doesn't call?? And didn't jump at your "last minute" invite to walk your dog?

 

I am seriously shaking my head here, like I said give the guy a freakin break. Your attitude wreaks of self-entitlement.

 

Do you like this guy? If so, then respond positively to his suggestion to get together again and make a date!

 

He's been communicating with you every day, take some initiate and stop making him jump through hoops.

 

We're all in this together.

Link to comment
He sent me a good morning text and I had no desire to respond. I'm not trying to be rude but I've lost interest because he hasn't asked me out again time and place. And I think after I invited him to go for a walk with me the least he could of done is called me to explain he was feeling tired and taken that opportunity to set a date for the weekend. But he didn't. He is 35 and it doesn't scream to me that he is serious which is fine just not what I'm looking for.

 

All this after one date one week ago, if you do choose to reject him, good gawd me thinks HE dodged a major bullet!

 

Read my last post.

Link to comment

Then step up and say "thanks, but I don't think were a match" and no one is wasting anyone's time.

He sent me a good morning text and I had no desire to respond. I'm not trying to be rude but I've lost interest because he hasn't asked me out again time and place.
Link to comment

Chill! Wow. I appreciate your feedback. Look, I just don't want to respond right away that's all. I didn't explain myself clearly! It's not that I wouldn't tell him. I just don't need to come off forward by telling him we aren't a match. It's 9 am my time. Geez I don't want to hurt the poor guys feelings this early in the morning. So it is good to say nothing at all sometimes until the appropriate time!

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...