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Thread: I Take Break Ups Very Hard

  1. #1
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    I Take Break Ups Very Hard

    I almost died a couple of years ago from advanced cancer. The treatment was brutal. I've been in severe debt. I worked my way out of it. I've been betrayed by friends. Nothing compares to the pain I feel from losing my partner. Even my most recent relationship, which lasted only a month and a half, has taken a severe toll on me. For the three weeks it took for from our initial split to the very end, I could hardly sleep, barely eat, and my mind was consumed with thoughts of her. Even at this time, 48 hours after I made the decision to let go, I can't stop thinking of her. Break ups are my one true weakness.

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    It hurts all of us. It hurts way more for the type of person who wears his heart on his sleeve. I had the same thing happened to me in January, take up a hobby, talk and go out with coworkers, friends can help. If you have a therapist see them it can help as well. Good luck, music helped me also

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    Platinum Member rosephase's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Careerchoice
    Break ups are my one true weakness.
    Do you have any idea why you have that reaction? Your reaction to ending a month and a half of dating should be a lot less brutal then advanced cancer treatment and almost dying. Why do you get so deeply attached so quickly? At a month and a half in you still barely know each other.

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    Thank you mate. I've been through several break ups, so I consider myself a bit of an expert on getting over an ex lol. I've been concentrating on work, talking with friends, exercising, doing a little bit of clothes shopping. My true distraction is researching how to get girls (PUA). Every time I start watching videos, I get a bit lost in the material. I need to get some new pictures and I'll put up my online profiles again. I know I'll get over her. She didn't treat me well at the end and it makes it easier to let her go.

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    Originally Posted by rosephase
    Do you have any idea why you have that reaction? Your reaction to ending a month and a half of dating should be a lot less brutal then advanced cancer treatment and almost dying. Why do you get so deeply attached so quickly? At a month and a half in you still barely know each other.
    I don't know why I have that reaction in general. It's a complete mystery to me. If I could buy away this pain for the rest of my life for the $380,000 I have in my bank account, I would easily make that purchase.

    We went fast. This was the first time in my life I've done that. I'm not so naive to jump in so quickly, but she had just the right combination to suck me in. I thought I knew her very well within a month. Her feelings seemed to change in an instant.

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    Platinum Member rosephase's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Careerchoice
    I thought I knew her very well within a month. Her feelings seemed to change in an instant.
    Falling for someone makes you think you know them. We fill in all the blanks with positive traits because all the rushing love drugs in our brains.

    Can I suggest you don't dig into PUA? It's not good for building relationships. It's often demeaning to women. Maybe you should spend some time figuring out why you get attached to quickly instead of diving into PUA type practices. Figuring yourself out is going to be a lot more productive in having positive relationships of all kinds then studying PUA.

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    Originally Posted by rosephase
    Falling for someone makes you think you know them. We fill in all the blanks with positive traits because all the rushing love drugs in our brains.

    Can I suggest you don't dig into PUA? It's not good for building relationships. It's often demeaning to women. Maybe you should spend some time figuring out why you get attached to quickly instead of diving into PUA type practices. Figuring yourself out is going to be a lot more productive in having positive relationships of all kinds then studying PUA.
    I'm not going to derail this thread, but I have been involved in PUA since 2005 and I find all of your claims to be false. And I don't get attached so quickly. This was the first time it's ever happened to me. I'm 39 years old and have dated a lot.

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    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    PUA tactics will help you succeed in attracting the type of women who respond to them. But I've found that it often results in casual hookups. Which, if you're looking to hook up, is terrific. But if you're looking for a relationship, those tactics can't work long term because it's impossible to keep that act up. Sooner or later the "real" you will show up. And a woman of substance will wonder "who IS this guy??"

    You are quite successful at hooking up, correct? Maybe something casual would work for you for now.

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    Platinum Member rosephase's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Careerchoice
    I'm not going to derail this thread, but I have been involved in PUA since 2005 and I find all of your claims to be false. And I don't get attached so quickly. This was the first time it's ever happened to me. I'm 39 years old and have dated a lot.
    Maybe your tactics cause for poor attachments... so much so that the first seeming "real" connection that comes along you are offering your heart and soul on a platter. Maybe this deep pain you feel is because you so rarely feel that real connection that you are over committed when you find it. Maybe PUA tactic calm you because emotional attachment is overwhelming for you so you purse a style of performing inauthenticity to hide from the pain that comes when you feel a real connection.

    You do you. But that PUA stuff instills a lot of stuff that makes lasting committed relationships hard. Your connection to it might be hurting you more than you think in the long run.

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    PUA tactics will help you succeed in attracting the type of women who respond to them. But I've found that it often results in casual hookups. Which, if you're looking to hook up, is terrific. But if you're looking for a relationship, those tactics can't work long term because it's impossible to keep that act up. Sooner or later the "real" you will show up. And a woman of substance will wonder "who IS this guy??"
    Incorrect. The teachings of PUA that I learn from apply to all varieties of women. And I never act. It helped me get my ex-wife who I was with for ten years. And I don't know what you mean by a "woman of substance". Care to elaborate?

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