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Thread: My husband doesn’t trust me

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Central Canada
    Originally Posted by star18
    I thought I’d give a quick update.
    It’s been a pretty messed up year since I posted this. My husband decided to have a vasectomy reversal done, against my wishes. It was successful, however fortunately I never fell pregnant.

    I kept my marriage going until December, thinking it was the right thing to do. What was best for our children, and our families. Finally something in my head clicked, after there were more accusations that I was having an affair. His behaviour towards out daughters also deteriorated further to the point my eldest didn’t want to come home if I was at work.

    I ended our marriage. He tried to manipulate me to allow him to stay in our home and pretend everything was normal for Christmas, which at first I agreed to, then he began to emotionally bully me and started twisting things to his advantage. I dropped my eldest off at school on the morning of her nativity, my youngest had come along with me instead of staying at home with him. I don’t remember much more other than being found by my mum and sister in a complete state. I was so scared and upset that he was pushing his way in and that I would never be free of him.

    A few hours later, my step dad collected him from my house, made him pack a bag, and took him to his mothers house. He’s been there ever since.

    He’s made little to no effort with our children since. His excuse is it’s too painful for him.

    So far, I have managed to keep working (though have had to change my shifts to fit around school and childcare), I’ve sorted all the bills and kept a roof over our heads, I’ve also got two amazing, beautiful little girls, who may argue frequently over silly little things, but are much calmer and happier.

    It has been a struggle, but actually, I think it has been easier than living with him. Everything I was made to believe I couldn’t do, I have done.

    He has been out of my house for 12 weeks, and in that time, I have found the old me and a new enjoyment of life with my girls.

    At the time, I never realised how controlled I was by him.
    So glad you found the strength to do what you've done, Star. All the best.

  2. #12
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Wonderful news, you are very strong, congratulations!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    That is a wonderful update. I can't help but think that the fact that he had no contact with his older kids is a red flag you missed. I could understand if he and the ex had baby as teens, he signed his rights off, etc per their decision to adopt the baby out or if the children had a stepdad adopt them, but I strongly wonder if his first marriage ended due to the same reasons -- the wife escaped abuse and he just didn't interact after that. Please stay safe- make sure the locks are changed. Depression has highs and lows and it could be months down the road he could resurface as he receives treatment. I am so glad you left instead of stayed!

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