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Thread: I feel like I am better than the guy I am dating in every way :(

  1. #111
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    What seems to be the most telling here is 11 pages of replies (with some side debates) and only one response from the OP.

    OP, If your career is that important to you then stay where you are and make the best of it. I am glad you are cutting this guy loose before he gets hurt.

    If you are all that and a box of chocolates there are single men out there for you. But as you say they are scarce so that means they are in high demand and selective. Perhaps you should focus on the inside more than the outside.

    Good luck

    Lost

  2. #112
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    At least half the men out there are irresponsible and immature. What do you expect, really? They spend their lives being reminded of how worthless they are and not every man can transcend. I know this doesn't help but it is what it is.

  3. #113
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    Originally Posted by Last Gentleman
    This might be a surprise for you, but most men don't really give importance to all you're stating, education, money, house, exes etc. , that's actually what men think they need to attract women... so weird !
    We are visual creatures won't deny this, but it doesn't go above all other attributes that most men search within women and what these things are, is someone who accepts you and will be caring, have this
    female grace while still taking care of her stuff and taking responsibilities. Someone feminine but not trash, with whom you feel on a feet of equality and share things in life making the relationship a priority
    and will challenge you on your crap, to make you grow.

    I don't want to be rude, but could it be that to be this successful woman, you became more aggressive and pushy, but the good men out there actually feel this and it doesn't fit in the graceful feminine
    woman I talked about !? So you then attract all the "messes" men who are more open to date any women they can, I'm only 35 but I can tell you I hear such stories all the time, even with all the equality
    that now women have in society, most men want women who they feel have this feminine energy and they don't need to compete with their GFs in the relationship, it's a partnership.

    I had some dates with women that I think are like you and let me tell you, I thought I was having a job interview, the women were so aggressive I wanted to leave, not because I can't handle a strong and
    independent woman as some want to think, but really because it's completely unattractive to me.

    Now think about this please, I'm not attacking you personally just challenging your views and you might benefit from thinking about it, if I'm right !

    Yes, its a big problem. There's a chronic lack of femininity in modern society. Its why many women are unmarried at 40 and why many men choose to be single.

  4. #114
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    [QUOTE=Shorthaired;6964537]So as I am nearing 40 and am single, my options are growing increasingly limited. My main problem is that I have a lot going for me: I am attractive, fit, highly educated, earn a 6 figure salary, own my home, have no baggage in terms of kids/ ex husbands and no addictions. I have a lot of disposable income and like to travel several times a year. I have been trying to find someone who will be my equal but guys that are single in similar age range are basically messes. Either they are going through nasty divorces and broke, or they are recovering alcoholics or are permanently unemployed or look as old as my dad.

    I have tried to lower my standards and basically accepted that what I want (my equal) is not possible to find at my age. So I have been seeing someone for the last 3-4 weeks. But...he is short (barely my height, good-bye heels), he was an alcoholic but has been sober for 2 years, has a low paying job and lives in a really poor area. I know this sounds horrible but I can't get over a feeling that I bring so much more to the table. I enjoy spending time with him but...this weekend for example I am flying to a tropical island by myself and he can't even afford a return flight. So it's like if I want to date him long term, I will have to stop doing a lot of things that I enjoy (and have worked so hard for) or pay for him (which I refuse to do).

    I don't really know what to do. How do I make myself be happy with dating what's available? It's not just this guy, it's been happening for the last 5 years. I realize that older women are less attractive to men due to age but damn it..is it really a choice between this a being single forever?[/QUOTE

    I'm going to be brutally honest with you.

    The qualities you've listed about yourself, they mean next to nothing for a masculine man. Why? Because he can do that for himself. What femininity can you bring to his life, which he as a man hasn't got? What polar opposites do you possess to compliment and attract a masculine man?

    It sounds like you've been in your masculine for a while. Let go of that and you'll invite in to your life what your looking for.

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