Why do i keep cheating on him?

First its not physical cheating, its texting flirting or letting myself be flirted with over text it has happened 4x now...I have been in a relationship with him for almost 4yrs, we have 1 child together and each have 1 child from previous marriages. My boyfriend gets volitile when we argue and he has screamed horrible things at me, "you're scum!" Or "no one would love you if they really knew you" he has been physical on 5 occassions not enough to leave a mark but enough to scare me then he tells me it takes 2 to fight, And i provoked him because i wouldn't stop poking him, then there's me I will end up giving my number to someone or they will find me on FB, and we'll talk, i vent about my boyfriend and the other man will text back telling me Im pretty, or I deserve better. Sometimes i send pictures clothed but sexy pictures. He found out I did yet again #4 now and im so upset and i don't want to lose him, I keep thinking how hurt he must be and I feel like a piece of and at the same time im wondering why i keep doing it, i never have intentions of taking it to the next level and sleeping with another man or even going on a date, its only texts. But why do i do this again and again?

You should go to your family doctor and ask for a referral to a psychology therapist to find out that answer and to help you to boost your self-esteem so that you are no longer addicted to getting the attention of stranger boys from the internet.

 

Staying with a man that gets physical with you is you abusing your children because they will only grow up to either be abused or abusive themselves. You are basically showing them in actions that women are meant to be mistreated. Surely you would not want a daughter to be physically knocked around by a partner or your son to be doing that to women.

 

why do i do this again and again?

Because you lack confidence and self-worth and their compliments and the feeling of power it gives you temporarily (only) boosts your love of self. Leave him and get the CB therapy which will hopefully help you to overcome your addiction and your codependent nature.

It's fairly straight forward. Your boyfriend and you provoke each other and fight to degree's you shouldn't. He puts you down, you then have low self esteem and run to these other men to try to feel better about yourself.

 

Bottom line is, you and your boyfriend both need therapy for your separate issues. He needs therapy for his abuse and anger, you need therapy to sort out your low self esteem, your cheating ways and why you continue staying in a relationship that is very dysfunctional.

 

I wish you both the best.

ThatWasThen and SherrySher have nailed it. You two are dysfunctional together. Look into therapy for yourself. Think of your children and the example you are setting for them.

Indeed they nailed it.

 

Why are you doing it again and again? Your instinct is telling you to move on, listen to it! And of course, the best way is through therapy. Please consider both Thatwasthen and Sherrysher's replies.

Have you always been this way, or is this something new since you've been with him?

You two need to separate because having your children grow up in an abusive household will impact them greatly.

He's either got you feeling worthless, so you seek attention, or if you've always been this way, maybe you may have

symptoms of HPD(histrionic personality). If it makes you feel bad doing it, then stop. If you only feel bad because you get caught, then there's a much deeper issue within you.

Do your needs get met in this relationship?

You are a little insecure and self esteem is low so you're seeking validation from others and craving positive attention and affection... and he's not giving you what you need mentally or to make you feel good ..so you're seeking it from others.. so theyre temporary fixes for what you're craving from the man you love... The physical part scares me as it's can escalate if he finds out you're opening the door to get swept off your feet by someone else