I think there might be someone else.

If you look at my previous threads you can read about the back ground of our break up and what is happening currently.

Well I don’t know if my mind is running wild but I think he might have someone else. I was at his friends after a festival we all attending (including my ex). This friends place is the place where he had been staying some nights since the break up and I noticed his over night bag that he takes with him wasn’t there. As he was meant to of been staying there the night previously and I know it isn’t our place makes me think where is it?

I had suspicions in the back of mind but since I’m lost and confused due to everything that has been going on I didn’t know if I was being paranoid. I have already asked him out right previously if there is someone else and he denies this. So I have tried to accept it as truth. But if he hasn’t been there then where is he staying and I know it isn’t wth family or I can’t think of any other friends he would stay with. I have suspicions of a female friend that I felt flirted with him in the past. Things are just adding up in my head. Like if he is MIA on social media she is as well at the same time. When usually she snapchats everything she is doing. Also in these times he never answers his phone.

I actually don’t know if I’m being crazy or if I should trust my gut plus the little things I noticed?

It's hard to say. Maybe his bag was stowed somewhere else you didn't notice, or maybe he indeed had been staying with another person altogether.

I have been in the latter position too, in which I inadvertently discovered my ex wasn't staying where he said he was after the split. But I didn't bother following up on this, as it wouldn't have changed anything in the end. I was fairly certain I knew where he really was, but I didn't have the energy nor the place to confront him about it. He was out of my hair and that was all I needed to move forward with my life. The relationship was still over either way, and strange as it was to accept, he was free to stay with whomever he chose and vice versa (though I stayed in our previously-shared apartment)

Let's imagine for a moment that your worst fear is true: would it help you to have confirmation of that? Often it doesn't, or at least, not in the way you might expect.

I realize this festival was pre-planned, but I would avoid hanging out with his friends from now on. You don't describe them as mutual friends, and though you certainly became friendly with them throughout your relationship, you will need to start distancing yourself from this group now that it's ended. One of the risks of maintaining close ties is exactly this: you start seeing or hearing things and your mind goes into overdrive. You need your space from him and his social circle.

Sorry to hear this. How long has it been since the breakup? Has he moved out completely yet?

This friends place is the place where he had been staying some nights since the break up

They are mutual friends although more so his friends if I’m honest. Your right, it doesn’t change anything I guess I’m just trying to find any other reason of why we can’t make this work. I guess I do need to accept and know that I can’t keep tabs on him. I feel so sick thinking of him with someone else and touching and loving them the way he did me. God this is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced.

It’s been 6 weeks. He still has all his stuff at our home and he does stay at our place during the week. He is moving out though this week he says. I can’t bear to see his stuff gone and then it will all be more real. I can’t cope with this.

It's very hard, I know. I have been through a few significant break-ups over the years.

Let this be your sign to begin strengthening your own social group now, one that doesn't include people who are also friends with him. That's not to say you can't stay on friendly terms with the mutual friends you had with your ex, but it won't be good for you to socialize primarily with them - particularly when he is actually there.

Whether or not he is seeing someone else won't do much but hurt you more. It won't make the break-up more or less permanent, in the sense that he's already decided it's over. That should be your motivation to move forward, not whether he's dating someone else. Easier said than done, of course, but it does get better with true time and space apart.

The same goes for him taking his things out of your home. Having his belongings there doesn't correspond to him being there with you. I won't lie, it is indeed very unpleasant and strange when an ex moves out. It will take time to adjust. But the length of time he leaves his crapola at your place isn't related to chances of reconciliation, in the end.

Your right. I know u are. I wish my brian would think logically about this. It’s like his things being here give me a chance to see him. But seeing him is just making me stay in so much pain as nothing has changed. He isn’t cold to me anymore like the first two weeks but we aren’t together and that’s all that matters to me. I do need to move forward. My job is suffering because of it and I haven’t been looking after myself. I wish I could see the future lol.