Will he come back? Or are we completely done

Im very sorry this seems long but I need answers,haven't heard from him in a monthThis was an almost relationship, I have tried everything I can to get over it, football, talk to other boys, focus on my education. Now me and him were a "thing" for 2 monthes, we got along well, he made me a priority and spend his New Year's Eve with me, we went on a few dates and they were amazing, we had so much in common and we had so many inside jokes and we texted all the time. However, he would get very jelous for no reason like if he texted me that he was going to sleep, I would say goodnight then he'd say "I'm sure you have all your boyfriends" and once he even insulted me and said that I definately have more boys than him for no reason. Not once have I given him a reason to not trust me, I told him that I don't want other boys because I like him. Sometimes he would ignore my texts, and one time in the cinema we had to sit seperately because we booked the cinema late and there was only single seats available,when the movie was over he walked out and didn't wait for me. one night, he tried to do stuff and when I said no he said okay and he went home about 10 minutes after that. He was so nice in the start but he just seemed off.One night, something terrible in my life happened and I near took my life, I texted him saying that I liked him but i couldn't deal with my life anymore, of course he helped me and I didn't kill myself. However, after that he started ignoring me a bit and I decided to give him a taste of his own medicene and I would sometimes ignore him back. I still liked him and I wanted us to get close again so I swallowed my pride and I sent him a para thanking him for helping me and for making me feel happy and I apologised if I ever was grumpy or clingy and I told him that I really liked him and that I cut off communication with boys for him but he told me "no it's fine, you can talk to other boys if you want because I don't know if I want a relationship so if you want to get another boyfriend thats fine"One day this boy and girl asked me who I was with and I told them not to tell anyone his name but then that night he gave out to me for telling people about us and I gave out to him for being embarrased of me, he then said he was done and then I said "you said earlier that you didn't want a relationship and that I could talk to other boys so that's what I did" then he said "good for you" then I ignored his text and then he deleted me. I feel so upset but he gave me the heads up for dating other boys? I miss him so so much, did I do the wrong thing?? Will he come back? I just feel that I'll never get someone as handsome or good as him and it hurts me so so much

Why would you sink to his level of trying to get him back?

He is a chump and he doesn't like or respect you. Aim higher for yourself, OP.

Why would you sink to his level of trying to get him back?

 

He is a chump and he doesn't like or respect you. Aim higher for yourself, OP.

Thank you, it's just so hard to move on when all I can think of is the memories xx

He sounds like he has serious emotional problems.

Manipulative, controlling and abusive. You need to block and delete this guy, as there is something wrong with him. Have you told your family and friends about his crazy behavior?

I agree. He does not like or respect you.

He sounds like he has serious emotional problems.

 

Manipulative, controlling and abusive. You need to block and delete this guy, as there is something wrong with him. Have you told your family and friends about his crazy behavior?

Well his dad commuted suicide when he was young and once he told me that he had anxiety and he got prescribed depression tablets. This is why I kinda let small things go because I wanted to help him feel better but he hurt me so much like, yes I told my family and my mum says she actually feels sorry for him, will he ever miss me or regret treating me bad?

Why would you sign up for someone like this? he is not stable. You should never let things go, and seek to find an emotionally stable bf.

My father's father committed sucide and died in his arms. He never treated my mother like this. Ever.

You should want much better. This guy has serious problems, and you cannot help him.

Please stay away from him. This is who he is.

I think you should also address why you would want someone in your life who is abusive, mean and controlling? Stop excusing his behavior.

Does your mother know how he treated you? I would assume not.

Why would you sign up for someone like this? he is not stable. You should never let things go, and seek to find an emotionally stable bf.

 

My father's father committed sucide and died in his arms. He never treated my mother like this. Ever.

 

You should want much better. This guy has serious problems, and you cannot help him.

 

Please stay away from him. This is who he is.

 

I think you should also address why you would want someone in your life who is abusive, mean and controlling? Stop excusing his behavior.

 

Does your mother know how he treated you? I would assume not.

My mum basically is saying what you're saying, she says that he treated me like and that I shouldn't be missing him, but I just hate being lonely and having that lonely feeling like it just makes me think that no one wants me and I know this may seem shallow and I know that he was abusive and all but I still had someone. I just can't stand lonliness

That is not good. You would rather be with an abuser, than be alone. Have you considered therapy?

Why don't you get out and make your life fuller? Do you have friends? Have you tried Meetups, joined clubs, taken courses volunteered etc....... Are you keeping busy?

Do not ever make someone your life. That is very unhealthy. This is why you are ending up with abusive creeps like this. Your life is not full and dependent on others. Make changes.

That is not good. You would rather be with an abuser, than be alone. Wow. Have you considered therapy?

 

Why don't you get out and make your life fuller? Do you have friends? Have you tried Meetups, joined clubs, taken courses volunteered etc....... Are you keeping busy?

 

Do not ever make someone your life. That is very unhealthy. This is why you are ending up with abusive creeps like this. Your life is not full and dependent on others. Make changes.

Nono, I do have plenty of friends and I do stuff with them often, I'm part of a football team and I have a life like I'm not a loner or anything like I do go out a lot and I do pull other boys but when it comes to a relationship I just have no luck and I just get hopeless about finding true love

My mum basically is saying what you're saying, she says that he treated me like and that I shouldn't be missing him, but I just hate being lonely and having that lonely feeling like it just makes me think that no one wants me and I know this may seem shallow and I know that he was abusive and all but I still had someone. I just can't stand lonliness

No, you didn't. You never "had" this guy.

OP, you should follow Holly's advice and look into some therapy for yourself.

It is very troubling that you would rather be with a guy who doesn't give a crap about you and mistreats you than be alone. You don't love yourself enough.

"Will he come back or is he gone forever?

basically I met this boy at a nightclub and we started texting each other and we were very close like we would call every night and we would talk about everything and he said he loved me, we planned to meet again and go on a date and he lived in a seaside town 60 miles away so I decided to go up, the plan was that we would meet at 7 then go to the cinema then the bar then the beach, he texted me at around 5 that evening that he couldn't make it until 9 because he said he had to go Christmas shopping, I said that's ok and we met at 9, we held hands in the cinema and we talked and I loved it and I felt like there was something. Right after the cinema when we were walking out, he says out of the blue "sorry but I have to go at 11 because I have to go to a friends party" now I was very upset because I travelled up to see him and he turned around and said it out of the blue, we only had half an hour to hang out so we went to the beac and kissed and all and then he walked me back to my apartment and he went on to the party, I felt like because we were planning this for ages and I felt mugged because I travelled up to see him and I wouldn't have been upset if he told me before the date !! the next day I asked him how his party was and he said "not so good, felt sick so I went home how about you?" by the way I was doubting him a few weeks ago as he would sometimes take forever to reply but he will would be active, I said to him "look I'm annoyed because I travelled up to see you and you just said out of the blue in the middle of the date that you had to go and i thought it was something I did, I just feel sometimes that you don't really like me as much as I like you and if that is so we can still be friends" I said this because i was feeling like crap!"

Is this the same creep?

Nono, I do have plenty of friends and I do stuff with them often, I'm part of a football team and I have a life like I'm not a loner or anything like I do go out a lot and I do pull other boys but when it comes to a relationship I just have no luck and I just get hopeless about finding true love

It is because you are attracted to bad guys. Have you considered therapy for your low self esteem? You do know that you deserve better.

"Will he come back or is he gone forever?

basically I met this boy at a nightclub and we started texting each other and we were very close like we would call every night and we would talk about everything and he said he loved me, we planned to meet again and go on a date and he lived in a seaside town 60 miles away so I decided to go up, the plan was that we would meet at 7 then go to the cinema then the bar then the beach, he texted me at around 5 that evening that he couldn't make it until 9 because he said he had to go Christmas shopping, I said that's ok and we met at 9, we held hands in the cinema and we talked and I loved it and I felt like there was something. Right after the cinema when we were walking out, he says out of the blue "sorry but I have to go at 11 because I have to go to a friends party" now I was very upset because I travelled up to see him and he turned around and said it out of the blue, we only had half an hour to hang out so we went to the beac and kissed and all and then he walked me back to my apartment and he went on to the party, I felt like because we were planning this for ages and I felt mugged because I travelled up to see him and I wouldn't have been upset if he told me before the date !! the next day I asked him how his party was and he said "not so good, felt sick so I went home how about you?" by the way I was doubting him a few weeks ago as he would sometimes take forever to reply but he will would be active, I said to him "look I'm annoyed because I travelled up to see you and you just said out of the blue in the middle of the date that you had to go and i thought it was something I did, I just feel sometimes that you don't really like me as much as I like you and if that is so we can still be friends" I said this because i was feeling like crap!"

Is this the same creep?

 

Telling you that he loved you (a stranger) was a gigantic red flag.

Nah that was another jerk that I met before this one, I attract all the jerks and get hurt so much like I Acc give up

Nah that was another jerk that I met before this one, I attract all the jerks and get hurt so much like I Acc give up

OP, you should have been done with this guy, after he told you that he made other plans. Also, don't be the first to travel up to him - especially at night. He should have come to you.

Telling you that he loved you (a stranger) was a gigantic red flag.

It is you that is choosing these people. You are demonstrating that you do not have boundaries, and show little value in yourself.

Thank you both for your help, I just needed to know if it was because of me that I had bad luck, I might get therapy but thank you both for your help

Has nothing to do with luck. It is about how you view yourself. Please seek counseling.

OP, you should have been done with this guy, after he told you that he made other plans. Also, don't be the first to travel up to him - especially at night. He should have come to you.

 

Telling you that he loved you (a stranger) was a gigantic red flag.

 

It is you that is choosing these people. You are demonstrating that you do not have boundaries, and show little value in yourself.

I've just realised that maybe I should be pickier. i just don't want to be too picky or else I won't get anyone.

Has nothing to do with luck. It is about how you view yourself. Please seek counseling.

I have went to counselling last but it done nothing for me. My counselled always told me to see the best in people and if there was a row that I should swallow my pride and try to fix the problems. I'm not saying my counselled was useless like she was a lovely woman but it did not benefit me

I've just realised that maybe I should be pickier. i just don't want to be too picky or else I won't get anyone.

I would rather be alone forever, than be with a guy like this.

You cannot have a healthy relationship, until you are healthy.

I have went to counselling last but it done nothing for me. My counselled always told me to see the best in people and if there was a row that I should swallow my pride and try to fix the problems. I'm not saying my counselled was useless like she was a lovely woman but it did not benefit me

You had the wrong counselor. I would look for someone else.

It does sound like she was "useless." She was wrong. You need to find a bf who is stable and treats you and others with respect and kindness.

Do not date for a while. You need to get yourself to a good place.

Remember, healthy attracts healthy

Do not date for a while. You need to get yourself to a good place.

 

Remember, healthy attracts healthy

Thanks for your advice really appreciated xx

Pink, you can start your journey today, by blocking and deleting this guy from everything.

Good luck!!!