Getting together a third time?

Hey everyone

Just curious if you guys have any stories of couples getting together a third time and how it went, or any personal stories too.

Thanks

If the second time did not work, you are not compatible.

Time to move on and find someone new. She is not stable or relationship material.

Why do you continue to return to this toxic relationship?

Agree with Holly. I've heard of folks getting together and staying together after a second go around. It's rare, but happens.

A third? Highly improbable. Any additional info?

I think it's very rare that it works the third time around. I can understand it working the second time around after some time has passed and the issues that caused the break up have been solved... but a third time I'd say that the couple is simply not compatible. On and off relationships rarely work in the long run.

I know a couple who actually married the third time around, and are still married now.

And what a happy marriage it is! He has had more than one affair, and she stays because she's afraid to be alone (her words)

So yes, it can happen. Does it usually mean Happily Ever After? Not from what I have seen.

It only works if you held hands in 2nd grade and stopped because one of you was accused of having girl or boy cooties (usually boys have more cooties. Its just a girl rule), then you went to different middle schools and were back together in high school and you went to homecoming and prom together. Then you graduated and went your separate ways. 8 years later, you run into eachother, start dating and get married and have babies. YES - in that case the 3rd time around can definitely work --- but i have a feeling you mean an adult relationship that keeps breaking up and in that case i say NO.

It only works if you held hands in 2nd grade and stopped because one of you was accused of having girl or boy cooties (usually boys have more cooties. Its just a girl rule), then you went to different middle schools and were back together in high school and you went to homecoming and prom together. Then you graduated and went your separate ways. 8 years later, you run into eachother, start dating and get married and have babies. YES - in that case the 3rd time around can definitely work --- but i have a feeling you mean an adult relationship that keeps breaking up and in that case i say NO.

I also thought about it only working if the first two times were during childhood haha

But yes... 3 times in adult times is a very bad sign.

Olá conterrâneo!

I got back together with the person who broke up with me 2 times... And we are broken up again for the 3rd time lol

It was a toxic relationship since he struggled with drugs most of the time we were together, and he broke up with me this month because his life is a mess and he can't be in a relationship.

Yeah..Shame on me.

When you keep breaking up with someone, it's nature' way of telling you that you are trying to be with the wrong person.

Olá conterrâneo!

I got back together with the person who broke up with me 2 times... And we are broken up again for the 3rd time lol

It was a toxic relationship since he struggled with drugs most of the time we were together, and he broke up with me this month because his life is a mess and he can't be in a relationship.

Yeah..Shame on me.

Olá! Bom ver alguém português por aqui!

In my case she ended for the same reasons as the first time, be alone, have her space, meet new people and deal with whatever was in her mind. We never stopped talking, we were talking everyday even when I knew she was seeing other guys. 5 months later we were back together and 4 months after, here I am again lol. She broke up again to be alone etc. It's the second time for me for the same reasons and she even told she likes me but cant be with me again. I can see we got back too soon because she didn't deal with her problems and myself didn't solve some of my personal issues too...

When you broke up those times how was the contact? No contact at all, few contact?

This time is going differently for me, she's keeping LC to NC at all, she sent me just 1 text the second week and spoke to me about some thing related to her aunt and that was it. The other times was me, I couldn't handle it and sent maybe 3 texts asking about our cats.

Hey Dicard, I had an on and off thing with a lady for 8 years. She would break it for 6 weeks now and then, and despite the promises we were back at square 1. And then she'd do it all again.

Tell her to tell her story walking.

Hey Dicard, I had an on and off thing with a lady for 8 years. She would break it for 6 weeks now and then, and despite the promises we were back at square 1. And then she'd do it all again.

 

Tell her to tell her story walking.

8 years?? Wow. But what were the reasons behind all that?

8 years?? Wow. But what were the reasons behind all that?

Codependency most likely. Mental illness maybe? The why is irrelevant. Your question should be: Why did you allow that for yourself, Ray?

Basically what you said. This ended a decade ago and is ancient history, by the way. The last time she tried to come back (that one was after a 2 years break with strict NC and I got back into training and lost a lot of weight) I said FWB only. That got rid of her. Narcissists don't like having the terms dictated to them.

Olá! Bom ver alguém português por aqui!

 

In my case she ended for the same reasons as the first time, be alone, have her space, meet new people and deal with whatever was in her mind. We never stopped talking, we were talking everyday even when I knew she was seeing other guys. 5 months later we were back together and 4 months after, here I am again lol. She broke up again to be alone etc. It's the second time for me for the same reasons and she even told she likes me but cant be with me again. I can see we got back too soon because she didn't deal with her problems and myself didn't solve some of my personal issues too...

 

When you broke up those times how was the contact? No contact at all, few contact?

This time is going differently for me, she's keeping LC to NC at all, she sent me just 1 text the second week and spoke to me about some thing related to her aunt and that was it. The other times was me, I couldn't handle it and sent maybe 3 texts asking about our cats.

It was almost no contact...lol He would say something random and meaningless after 2 weeks no contact. The second time we broke up we would be almost 2 months without saying a word. Now it has been 3 weeks no contact. I think he won't contact me again this time...

You can more than hope he won't.

Block/delete/ignore.

Ok guys need some help here because it's being like hell now these past days.

So I was LC for a month with my ex, then we had to meet up this past week because of our cat. Before that I already knew she was seeing someone else, but today I got the confirmation that they already are in a serious relationship (they even plan to live together at her house, like I was doing). 10 days after our breakup she started a new relationship... I don't get it. She went from "I don't see myself in a serious relationship now", "I want to be alone and meet new people", "I've these impulses for other men", to a serious relationship with a co-worker who just got there.

I feel horrible, I wasn't expecting she jumping right away to a serious relationship like nothing happened in a month or less with a co-worker she didn't have the time to get to know. I know we can't bring logic to this, but....how?

She lied to you.

She lined him up as the replacement while keeping you on the bench.

Block delete and disappear.

I'm sorry about the cat but they are fickle - get a new one and tell her to keep the other one.

Walk away and don't look back.

"I've these impulses for other men",

Sorry but its now time to block and delete her and also forget about "our" cat. Time to get a new girlfriend and a new cat.

Both of you probably are right lol. He was new in her work place (not even a month) and with different work schedules, but yeah, she problably was thinking already about that.

These last days from any type of communication we had, she was just being cold and nasty to me. I never talked about or asked anything about her, have no idea why she has the need to be like this.

Oh well, I'm done with this