4 months after break up

Hey there, need some advice. I met a man last spring and we dated for 6 months after meeting online. We talked daily (multiple times a day) and towards the end would get together 2 times a week.

About 4 months in, after a night of staying at his house, I left and went home. I went online and he posted a new picture on the dating website we met on. I called upset that night when I saw, basically saying to him that if he wanted to date other people he could, I just would be out of the picture. He responded that he agreed and didn’t want to ruin our relationship. That he would no longer date others but that he wanted the same from me.

We were back to normal after that for a couple of months when some stress hit me (my job in transition and my son was struggling in school). I probably became a bit more distant and in response, since I wouldn’t open up,he pulled back some. I panicked and decided (without talking through it with him) that he was probably going to dump me so I put my online profile back up... I acknowledge this was not a mature move by me. He saw it (which means he was still online looking) and called me upset that I had done the very same thing that I had confronted him about.

We lasted another couple of weeks but it became distant. The last night we were together (although we still talked everyday until then) we slept together and afterwards he held me and stroked my face. I apologized that I was distant and explained the stress. He was gentle and kind and told me it was ok.

After I left that last night we texted daily for a week. I was hurting because I could feel the strain in our relationship. When I didn’t hear from him one day I texted him saying that “I cared for him and I knew he’s a great guy and I wished him well” he texted back sounding offended that I was ending it that way. He never reached out again to stop me from leaving.

After 4 months with no contact (but I constantly think of him and I regret being a poor communicator) I messaged him to ask a general question. He replied answering it and asked how I was. I answered and we had a brief texting conversation about work. The message ended with me saying I had to go but I wished him good night and it was nice to hear from him again and he said good night.

He is a prideful man, I know he will not call or text. The struggle I have is that I love and miss him. I never told him and I wish I could get a moment to fix it because I really want to believe that he really cares.

Any advice would help. I’m just tired of missing him and regretting my actions.

How old are you guys and what are your backgrounds? Were you rejected in a previous relationship and so you wanted to end it before he could end the realstionship?

There's just so much miscommunication here, it seems like you have to start again with someone new and try to keep your fears from getting in the way of the relationship.

Hey there, need some advice. I met a man last spring and we dated for 6 months after meeting online. We talked daily (multiple times a day) and towards the end would get together 2 times a week.

 

About 4 months in, after a night of staying at his house, I left and went home. I went online and he posted a new picture on the dating website we met on. I called upset that night when I saw, basically saying to him that if he wanted to date other people he could, I just would be out of the picture. He responded that he agreed and didn’t want to ruin our relationship. That he would no longer date others but that he wanted the same from me.

 

We were back to normal after that for a couple of months when some stress hit me (my job in transition and my son was struggling in school). I probably became a bit more distant and in response, since I wouldn’t open up,he pulled back some. I panicked and decided (without talking through it with him) that he was probably going to dump me so I put my online profile back up... I acknowledge this was not a mature move by me. He saw it (which means he was still online looking) and called me upset that I had done the very same thing that I had confronted him about.

 

We lasted another couple of weeks but it became distant. The last night we were together (although we still talked everyday until then) we slept together and afterwards he held me and stroked my face. I apologized that I was distant and explained the stress. He was gentle and kind and told me it was ok.

 

After I left that last night we texted daily for a week. I was hurting because I could feel the strain in our relationship. When I didn’t hear from him one day I texted him saying that “I cared for him and I knew he’s a great guy and I wished him well” he texted back sounding offended that I was ending it that way. He never reached out again to stop me from leaving.

 

After 4 months with no contact (but I constantly think of him and I regret being a poor communicator) I messaged him to ask a general question. He replied answering it and asked how I was. I answered and we had a brief texting conversation about work. The message ended with me saying I had to go but I wished him good night and it was nice to hear from him again and he said good night.

 

He is a prideful man, I know he will not call or text. The struggle I have is that I love and miss him. I never told him and I wish I could get a moment to fix it because I really want to believe that he really cares.

 

Any advice would help. I’m just tired of missing him and regretting my actions.

Been in your situation before, if you really love this person you should show to him that you really care. Trials are there as always but to never give up is what we should do. Its a test of your love for him and his love for. But first learn how to love yourself, dont be so stressful, when you are stress you wont be able to show how you fell for him. Trust him even if he dont trust you, crazy right? Kindness can change someone. If anything will not work and he leave you, he's not the one for you. Praying you'll be fine soon.

In this case I'd suggesting setting up a meeting with him and actually COMMUNICATE with him. Explain everything, how you feel about the situation and why you acted the way you did and why you regret it. But if you do it, do it at the risk of it not working the way you want to. He might not want a relationship with you again. But if he does want you back or if you find someone else and enter a new relationship, you need to deal with your insecurities and talk through things clearly and not through assumptions or passive agressive moves. Be honest with your partners and give them space to be with you too.

Sorry to hear this. You seemed to do a lot of preemptive strikes in this situation. If you want to see him ask to meet for coffee.

I panicked and decided that he was probably going to dump me so I put my online profile back up.When I didn’t hear from him one day I texted him saying that “I cared for him and I knew he’s a great guy and I wished him well”