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She called a "Rain check" on the 4th date.


someone341

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Okay, so I met this girl about 4 weeks ago at our colleges law ball. We clicked straight away, got her number. Texted a little and went out for drinks. The first date went real well, texted me after thanking me for it. Then about 5 days later, we were both in college, we went for coffee spent a few hours together, again it went really well, she said she had a great time etc etc. The day after, she texted me asking if I wanted to come over to hers, we watched a movie, ate ice cream, cuddled for ages, kissed so much, it was great, didnt stay over, eneded up getting a taxi back. This was sunday... we arranged to go for on a date on Wednesday night. Texting was going v well, texted every night. So I seen her yesterday, asked her off the cuff if she wanted to go for coffee if she wasnt to busy, she said she had alot of work to do and I said a no worries. Then got a snap chat of her that night, (looking real hot) before she went out for drinks. So today, I texted her, being like "hey how was last,?" she replied with, " hey ____ (my name) I'm really sick from last night, sorry I think I'm going to have to rain check tonight. I then was like.. ah okay, hope you are feeling better etc etc.... said if shes free on sat does that suit? she has been online and hasn't even replied all day, it's been like 7 hours.... is she playing games or putting me down nicely? I felt he had a real connection... but not so sure anymore... when she replies (if she does) what should I do, to get her back interested in me again?

 

Thanks

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It's not like you're some circus clown who needs to put on a performance to get her focused back on you again. Sounds like you've been doing the normal dating stuff without anything bad standing out, unless you overdid it on too much texting during those days apart. Also, when she asked for a rain check, instead of you suggesting a new date immediately, I would've waited for her to ask you to do something since she was the one who cancelled.

 

Your goal shouldn't be some game plan to get someone's interest. If simply being your wonderful self and taking the normal pace in the dating world isn't good enough for a woman, then your fate lies elsewhere. Crystal balls don't work, so you'll just have to be patient and see if she wants to continue being in your life.

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If I told you I was sick and without missing a beat you tried to lock down Sat in exchange, it might cause me to hesitate.

If I was really into you it wouldn't bother me as much, but if I was trying to get a sense of this - that might set me back.

You should have wished her well saying you will talk to her soon and given this a little bit breathing room

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I once did something similar with a guy (i know i was being a b and i'm not proud) but I was really bored and insecure, just needed some attention and this guy from school started showing interest in me. So we started texting and went on a few dates but he wanted something more serious so every time he'd text me I'd only give him really short answers and when he asked me out I'd tell him that I'm really busy and so on until he finally stopped texting.

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Guh...

 

I hate texting. So much room for misunderstanding. Least of all the words themselves which have zero context...but the endless stream of open-ended interpretation involved when someone doesn't get back to you. When did we become so insecure that we need a text every couple of hours to reassure us of someone else's intentions.

 

Relax. Breathe. Take, ''I'm sick...'' at face value and acknowledge that sometimes people aren't themselves when they're feeling less than 100%. Maybe shut your phone off for an afternoon.

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Okay, so I met this girl about 4 weeks ago at our colleges law ball. We clicked straight away, got her number. Texted a little and went out for drinks. The first date went real well, texted me after thanking me for it. Then about 5 days later, we were both in college, we went for coffee spent a few hours together, again it went really well, she said she had a great time etc etc. The day after, she texted me asking if I wanted to come over to hers, we watched a movie, ate ice cream, cuddled for ages, kissed so much, it was great, didnt stay over, eneded up getting a taxi back. This was sunday... we arranged to go for on a date on Wednesday night. Texting was going v well, texted every night. So I seen her yesterday, asked her off the cuff if she wanted to go for coffee if she wasnt to busy, she said she had alot of work to do and I said a no worries. Then got a snap chat of her that night, (looking real hot) before she went out for drinks. So today, I texted her, being like "hey how was last,?" she replied with, " hey ____ (my name) I'm really sick from last night, sorry I think I'm going to have to rain check tonight. I then was like.. ah okay, hope you are feeling better etc etc.... said if shes free on sat does that suit? she has been online and hasn't even replied all day, it's been like 7 hours.... is she playing games or putting me down nicely? I felt he had a real connection... but not so sure anymore... when she replies (if she does) what should I do, to get her back interested in me again?

 

Thanks

 

See how everything goes, but that reply time is something I would be worried about. I've learned if a person is into you, no way will there be 7 hours between replies (unless on vacay w/no reception or in extreme circumstances). I dated a guy long distance, who could take a whole day to reply (if not more), but he was always online, I also observed him being glued to his phone messaging his buddies. See what happens sat, if nothing, let her go.

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See how everything goes, but that reply time is something I would be worried about. I've learned if a person is into you, no way will there be 7 hours between replies (unless on vacay w/no reception or in extreme circumstances). I dated a guy long distance, who could take a whole day to reply (if not more), but he was always online, I also observed him being glued to his phone messaging his buddies. See what happens sat, if nothing, let her go.

 

I take a different view.

 

My phone social media apps being on makes it as if i an online when i am actually not looking at the app. I get pinged all the time by notifications.

Secondly, after a couple of dates she is not beholden to him to be available - she could be busy talking to relatives, doing work related things or being sick as a dog and watching an entertaining video because she can't do anything else. When she is ready to go out with him again - she knows he is interested and will contact him. If he said something about this Saturday ---its wednesday - she has time to get back in touch. If she does not, i would go about my life, and then maybe contact her one more time in a week and invite her to real plans. Or maybe contact her monday or tuesday and ask how she is feeling.

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  • 7 months later...

This is simple, if she likes you, she will come find you and suggest another date.

 

You won't have to remind her that you exist, you won't have to wait ages..if she is into you like you are into her, she will show her interest by setting up another date.

Seeing as she is the one who cancelled, she is the one who should be getting a hold of you and making plans.

 

If she doesn't come looking for you or suggest another date, don't chase, don't beg, let it go.

 

You're only a few dates in, so if she's not the one, no biggie.

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Can I clarify who asked whom? From your post, it sounds like she drank way too much and partied a bit to hard, but SHE asked you about Saturday...you didn't ask her. It's a good sign that she initiated an alternative, and on a Saturday. She over-did the partying, and I think you have been in that place, so relax and understand her plight. It's easy to be online and toss out some "likes," and much harder to try to be "on" and in your best place with a guy you're trying to impress. These apps can show you online for hours when all you did was check in. Try not to be too uptight about the social media....I know, easy to say and not easy to do, but if she offered up an alternative, you're already in the door. See what happens on the weekend.

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If I told you I was sick and without missing a beat you tried to lock down Sat in exchange, it might cause me to hesitate.

If I was really into you it wouldn't bother me as much, but if I was trying to get a sense of this - that might set me back.

You should have wished her well saying you will talk to her soon and given this a little bit breathing room

 

I would feel exactly like this. So i agree with reinventmyself.

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