Post 1st date situation (will i get ghosted?)

Posts: 108

Post first date situation

Hey everyone how’s it going?

Over the past couple of years I have really grown in my dating life. I went from barely having the courage to get numbers from girls to being able to get numbers fairly easy. I’m also great at setting first dates and engaging a women’s interest up until that point. But my main issue, that I am finding a repeated struggle with, is the girls that I am interested in taking out on a second date tend to push me away.

Here is my current situation and I am looking for any type of constructive criticism that any of you can give.

So I met this girl almost two years ago. We had night classes at a community college together. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I made no moves on her. I moved to a different college and we are about an hour away from each other. I saw her online and messaged her on Instagram and eventually got her number and took her out yesterday. We hardly ever text, for I have found that usually leads to attraction being killed. But we send each other about one a day. (We even talked about it on the date and she liked it that way as well).

So, because she lives lives an hour away, we met at a place halfway between us and had dinner. She loved the place(waited until the day of to tel her where we were going) and I surprised her by saying after dinner we are going to another place to which she thought aaa “cute” and fun. We then went to a brewery and got sample flights of drinks and hung out. We played a game where we closed eyes and had to guess which drink, etc. She was doing a lot of the talking and kept like flicking her hair (which i have read is submissive behavior. Idk what you guys think about that) and i made her laugh a few times. At the end of the date, we kissed and she told me to text her when I got home.

When I got home, she ended up texting me. Saying “I'm home now! Thanks for dinner and the beer, had a great time tonight ” (usually I text back right away in the past, but I waited until the morning, again because I’m trying to critic my game because of failures in the past).

I texted her back around 11am, “That was the goal, go out, meet each other and have a fun night and I'd say we accomplished that lol” and then “When are you free again? We just got a glimpse of each other and i would love to see you again“

And I still haven’t heard from her. I know she works until 9:30, but earlier she was online liking posts so i know she got the texts.

So basically I am low key nervous as f*** because I am clearly into her and I feel like she is into me. I don’t know if by texting her back in the morning instead of at night was a bad move. I’m basically thinking worst case scenario for everything.

So what do you guys think? I don’t want to text her again and look clingy. She’s a beautiful girl and I am willing to bet she gets all sorts of attention usually like this from guys.

Where did you get this idea from to wait until the next morning?

Hopefully not from one of those cheezy online "dating coaches"...

Where did you get this idea from to wait until the next morning?

 

Hopefully not from one of those cheezy online "dating coaches"...

You think that was a mistake? I was trying something different but could have backfired on me. But i did text her in the morning which i don’t think should be THAT big of an issue, it was like 11pm, but who knows

You were playing games, plain and simple. You waited to text her because you thought delaying your reply would intrigue her, and make you seem cool (and as if you don't give a sh#%). Plans like this often backfire, and me thinks it may have in this case. Hence her no reply.

Plus, you also told her that you'd text her when you got home. What gives? Stop with the games. Don't be surprised if you've gone and screwed up a good thing because your ego got in the way.

Get over yourself and stop playing games.

A guy recently did something similar to me and I lost interest.

So hair flicking is "submissive behavior" (because you "read" that somewhere) too???

Where are you reading this stuff?

You didn't answer my question...have you been reading "dating coach" advice online? Or perhaps PUA stuff?

Those so-called "coaches" claim to know the exact way to win a woman over. But, as you saw, their advice doesn't translate into real life.

PS: I "flick" my hair when it gets in my way. It doesn't mean I intend to "submit" to anyone.

So hair flicking is "submissive behavior" (because you "read" that somewhere) too???

 

Where are you reading this stuff?

 

You didn't answer my question...have you been reading "dating coach" advice online? Or perhaps PUA stuff?

 

Those so-called "coaches" claim to know the exact way to win a woman over. But, as you saw, their advice doesn't translate into real life.

 

PS: I "flick" my hair when it gets in my way. It doesn't mean I intend to "submit" to anyone.

Yes I have read online and advice from other people. And it wasn’t flicking it was more like twirling or whatever. But if i ed it up by not texting her back right away, then i guess it is what it is

You were playing games, plain and simple. You waited to text her because you thought delaying your reply would intrigue her, and make you seem cool (and as if you don't give a sh#%). Plans like this often backfire, and me thinks it may have in this case. Hence her no reply.

 

Plus, you also told her that you'd text her when you got home. What gives? Stop with the games. Don't be surprised if you've gone and screwed up a good thing because your ego got in the way.

 

Get over yourself and stop playing games.

 

A guy recently did something similar to me and I lost interest.

I don’t have an ego, im trying to learn from previous mistakes I’ve apparently made.

Following the advice of "PUA" coaches online is not the way to approach women.

Being your genuine self is the best way to go.

Waiting to text back was a bad idea but I don't think you ruined things by simply waiting to reply, if she's truly interested you'll hear from her again and when you do just act like everything's normal.

We hardly ever text, for I have found that usually leads to attraction being killed.

That's not correct. Withholding communication is a way to prevent connection from developing.

You should have texted her that night. Be too lazy about a girl and she will think you're not interested. If you're worried about coming across like a needy guy, the solution is to not act needy while you communicate with them; not to avoid communicating with them.

You shouldn't have waited till morning, Stop with all the silly games.

The waiting wasn't the issue, the text you sent her was. Why would you send that??

Besides that who knows, she could've just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago and in that case nothing works.

What was wrong with the text? From a woman's perspective , I don't see anything off with the actual text.

What was wrong with the text? From a woman's perspective , I don't see anything off with the actual text.

He should have responded that he too had a great time - not his dating plan for her.

BTW, girls that go nuts after not receiving texts right away usually turn out to be needy cling bombs later on - same with men that send too many too frequently. His waiting until the morning was perfectly normal.

The waiting wasn't the issue, the text you sent her was. Why would you send that??

 

Besides that who knows, she could've just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago and in that case nothing works.

She did say she was out of a year and a half relationship for like two months. Also, she did mention her ex a couple times and even apologized for it. This could be the main issue.

But for future cases, I guess I should text a women back that night after she reaches out then ask her out on a date a few days after.

I don’t know, I just can’t fathom the sole reason why I did not get a response was because of those two texts. And the fact I waited until the morning.

It sounds like the date went well. However she may have thought of it as just friends having a bite and a beer because she mentioned her ex and relationships. Why didn't you drive to her an keep it more low key rather than drag it out? You'll just have to wait and see how she responds.

Saying “I'm home now! Thanks for dinner and the beer, had a great time tonight ”

It sounds like the date went well. However she may have thought of it as just friends having a bite and a beer because she mentioned her ex and relationships. Why didn't you drive to her an keep it more low key rather than drag it out? You'll just have to wait and see how she responds.

We did kiss at the end and I showed prior that it wasn’t really a friend situation. I didn’t drive to her because she didn’t want me driving that far. I did offer.

And what do you mean by drag it out?

She did say she was out of a year and a half relationship for like two months. Also, she did mention her ex a couple times and even apologized for it. This could be the main issue.

 

But for future cases, I guess I should text a women back that night after she reaches out then ask her out on a date a few days after.

 

I don’t know, I just can’t fathom the sole reason why I did not get a response was because of those two texts. And the fact I waited until the morning.

Maybe she sensed that you could have been playing games (which you clearly were) and got turned off.

You told her that you'd message her once you got home. She sent you a nice message thanking for the date.

A quick text letting her know you got home and that you had fun would have sufficed.

Waiting until the next morning could come across to her as if you don't care, and if she gets a fair amount of attention from men, it won't take much for her to move on.

You could still hear from her, but considering the amount of time that's elapsed since you heard from her, my guess is the interest level won't be the same.

This is what happens when you play games.

Maybe she sensed that you could have been playing games (which you clearly were) and got turned off.

 

You told her that you'd message her once you got home. She sent you a nice message thanking for the date.

 

A quick text letting her know you got home and that you had fun would have sufficed.

 

Waiting until the next morning could come across to her as if you don't care, and if she gets a fair amount of attention from men, it won't take much for her to move on.

 

You could still hear from her, but considering the amount of time that's elapsed since you heard from her, my guess is the interest level won't be the same.

 

This is what happens when you play games.

Yea but i feel like not texting back until the morning is such a minor thing. Being willing to end something so soon seems drastic in this case

She did say she was out of a year and a half relationship for like two months. Also, she did mention her ex a couple times and even apologized for it. This could be the main issue.

 

But for future cases, I guess I should text a women back that night after she reaches out then ask her out on a date a few days after.

 

I don’t know, I just can’t fathom the sole reason why I did not get a response was because of those two texts. And the fact I waited until the morning.

There's your problem

Well, she just texted me this

“Hey I'm sorry I didn't text sooner I was trying to figure out my schedule. But yes I agree! I work Friday and Saturday. And I get my schedule for next week, tomorrow. What days are you free?”

Looks like I didn’t completely f this up 🙌🏼

He should have responded that he too had a great time - not his dating plan for her.

 

BTW, girls that go nuts after not receiving texts right away usually turn out to be needy cling bombs later on - same with men that send too many too frequently. His waiting until the morning was perfectly normal.

From a woman's perspective, I don't agree. I would have appreciated a text when he got home. You're male, right?

Yea but i feel like not texting back until the morning is such a minor thing. Being willing to end something so soon seems drastic in this case

You said you were going to text her. You didn't . The women on here are telling you how you that you should have followed through. But, you seem to know better. Right!

Well, she just texted me this

 

“Hey I'm sorry I didn't text sooner I was trying to figure out my schedule. But yes I agree! I work Friday and Saturday. And I get my schedule for next week, tomorrow. What days are you free?”

 

 

Looks like I didn’t completely f this up 🙌🏼

Good. Now follow though, and no more games.

if she brings up the ex again, move on. You do not want to be a rebound.

Posts: 108

Post first date situation

Hey everyone how’s it going?

 

Over the past couple of years I have really grown in my dating life. I went from barely having the courage to get numbers from girls to being able to get numbers fairly easy. I’m also great at setting first dates and engaging a women’s interest up until that point. But my main issue, that I am finding a repeated struggle with, is the girls that I am interested in taking out on a second date tend to push me away.

 

Here is my current situation and I am looking for any type of constructive criticism that any of you can give.

 

So I met this girl almost two years ago. We had night classes at a community college together. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I made no moves on her. I moved to a different college and we are about an hour away from each other. I saw her online and messaged her on Instagram and eventually got her number and took her out yesterday. We hardly ever text, for I have found that usually leads to attraction being killed. But we send each other about one a day. (We even talked about it on the date and she liked it that way as well).

 

So, because she lives lives an hour away, we met at a place halfway between us and had dinner. She loved the place(waited until the day of to tel her where we were going) and I surprised her by saying after dinner we are going to another place to which she thought aaa “cute” and fun. We then went to a brewery and got sample flights of drinks and hung out. We played a game where we closed eyes and had to guess which drink, etc. She was doing a lot of the talking and kept like flicking her hair (which i have read is submissive behavior. Idk what you guys think about that) and i made her laugh a few times. At the end of the date, we kissed and she told me to text her when I got home.

 

When I got home, she ended up texting me. Saying “I'm home now! Thanks for dinner and the beer, had a great time tonight ” (usually I text back right away in the past, but I waited until the morning, again because I’m trying to critic my game because of failures in the past).

 

I texted her back around 11am, “That was the goal, go out, meet each other and have a fun night and I'd say we accomplished that lol” and then “When are you free again? We just got a glimpse of each other and i would love to see you again“

 

And I still haven’t heard from her. I know she works until 9:30, but earlier she was online liking posts so i know she got the texts.

 

So basically I am low key nervous as f*** because I am clearly into her and I feel like she is into me. I don’t know if by texting her back in the morning instead of at night was a bad move. I’m basically thinking worst case scenario for everything.

 

So what do you guys think? I don’t want to text her again and look clingy. She’s a beautiful girl and I am willing to bet she gets all sorts of attention usually like this from guys.

When you initiate a date, your supposed to follow up later with a text. The fact that she did it was because she was wondering why you hadn’t and was making her feelings clear.

But you read it and wanted to reply in the AM?

can’t stand guys like you, you then wonder why it’s not working out.