Tell me if I’m being precious, but what’s the point of female only swim sessions with Male atte

I went to a “Female only” swim session that had a male attendant, who was rather arkward and pacing up and down the pool as I was swimming. Seemed to me he was walking behind me everytime I approached the side he was attending. He was sat in his tower chair until the other female doing widths left the pool. Then he started pacing about and doing weird things like playing with the disabled winch and flicking through pamphlets on the wall and looking over. There were other women doing aquarobics in the other half of the pool.

I felt so uncomfortable I left after 20 minutes when all the other women got out. I couldn’t even shower because the only showers were open pool side ones with no privacy whatsoever, you would have to wash with the whole of the pool (including aforementioned creepy pool guy) being able to see you very clearly.

Like what is the point? I’ve never been to a pool that only has poolside showers. Gross. Am I being over the top to email a complaint? I won’t be going there again. I came out of my way to have a female only swim session, instead of my local pool.

usually poolside showers are not to strip down, but to rinse the chlorine off of you so that when you go into the locker room or such, you have that off of your body and suit.

You know what, the guy could have been bored -- he couldn't play on his phone, so he was messing with stuff to not appear like he was "watching" you all - even if he is supposed to keep an eye in case anyone needs something. I would not assume an employee is out to stalk you.

That's really odd. And creepy. Yikes!

He’s a lifeguard. It’s his job to watch the pool. I don’t see anything remotely creepy here at all.

Attendant as in life guard or instructor? Was this a formal event organised and orchestrated by the building? Or was it organised by a group simply using that pool as the venue? Lot of explanations varying from the guy being a Grade A creeper to his shift just happening to be during that session and / or a female not being available, In which case I can imagine the discomfort would have been mutual.

He’s a lifeguard. It’s his job to watch the pool. I don’t see anything remotely creepy here at all.

Agree with that ^^

Exactly! There are a few poolside then either a communal same sex shower round the back that is secluded or in a separate room or private lockable showers. The Male and female sides are always indicated if not entirely separate by different coloured doors etc.

I’m not saying he was stalking me but he was certainly loitering near me, whether he realised or not. He didn’t even go up the other half of the pool where everyone else was. I felt uncomfortable so that’s reason enough for me not to return. I’ve never noticed similar behaviour from pool attendants before, Male or female they sit in the chair and watch the pool.

Exactly! There are a few poolside then either a communal same sex shower round the back that is secluded or in a separate room or private lockable showers. The Male and female sides are always indicated if not entirely separate by different coloured doors etc.

 

I’m not saying he was stalking me but he was certainly loitering near me, whether he realised or not. He didn’t even go up the other half of the pool where everyone else was. I felt uncomfortable so that’s reason enough for me not to return. I’ve never noticed similar behaviour from pool attendants before, Male or female they sit in the chair and watch the pool.

Well, that's the thing isn't it! You didn't feel comfortable so yes, that is a good reason not to go back. It's all about your comfort and to hoot with what we think.

Life guard and yes it’s a recurring “female only” swim session put on by the sports centre.

Yes he could have felt uncomfortable actually, I never considered that. He looked arkward as hell.

Life guard and yes it’s a recurring “female only” swim session put on by the sports centre.

 

Yes he could have felt uncomfortable actually, I never considered that. He looked arkward as hell.

Why don't you suggest to management that since its an all woman swim that they get a woman lifeguard for that particular event?

He wasn’t watching the pool, which is part of my point, the other part being I don’t want to shower in front of the pool. Poor woman who got out before me was trying (and failing) to discretely scrub her bits through her costume. That’s when I realised there was probably no showers in the changing room. Ew!

He wasn’t watching the pool, which is part of my point, the other part being I don’t want to shower in front of the pool. I see it the same way in Freckles's situation. Yes, she's part of the problem. But now that he knows her feelings, if he still doesn't share them and continues with the arrangement blithely touting "FWB," he's taking advantage. I don't give myself a pass on something like that, and I wouldn't give him one either. That’s when I realised there was probably no showers in the changing room. Ew!

Now THAT would make me more creeped out then a lifeguard seemingly following me.

I went to a “Female only” swim session that had a male attendant, who was rather arkward and pacing up and down the pool as I was swimming. Seemed to me he was walking behind me everytime I approached the side he was attending. He was sat in his tower chair until the other female doing widths left the pool. Then he started pacing about and doing weird things like playing with the disabled winch and flicking through pamphlets on the wall and looking over. There were other women doing aquarobics in the other half of the pool.

 

I felt so uncomfortable I left after 20 minutes when all the other women got out. I couldn’t even shower because the only showers were open pool side ones with no privacy whatsoever, you would have to wash with the whole of the pool (including aforementioned creepy pool guy) being able to see you very clearly.

 

Like what is the point? I’ve never been to a pool that only has poolside showers. Gross. Am I being over the top to email a complaint? I won’t be going there again. I came out of my way to have a female only swim session, instead of my local pool.

I will, though it makes no difference to me as the showers would put me off on their own. My thought was that it was female only to accommodate the Muslim community (assuming there is one local to that pool) but it doesn’t if the pool attendant is Male.

My friend suggested that it’s commonplace to have only poolside showers but I’ve never seen one and I have been in lots of pools, private and public so I don’t know where he’s got that idea from.

How? The female session is on for two hours in an entire week.

How? The female session is on for two hours in an entire week.

So? Not sure what your point is.

So me complaining that they should have a female attendant for 2 hours a week is not going to cost a person who presumably works more than 2 hours a week, their job. The fact that he wasn’t paying a great deal of attention to the pool could, though since there was an instructor there, he probably didn’t need to be too attentive, so I wouldn’t mention that.

I take it you are Muslim? I imagine you’ll be more sensitive to this than my culture would be. It wouldn’t bother me because he’s a lifeguard and he’s obviously uncomfortable.

Those showers are for rinsing, not for bit-scrubbing. Just rinsing. Poolside is exactly where they should be.

You don’t have to go back, but nothing here seems off to me.

Sorry people, the reply button isn’t quoting the post I’m replying to!

MLD No I’m not Muslim, I would have have turned straight back around as soon as I saw the Male attendant if I had as it’s Haram to be seen by a Male who is not a relation, in a state of “undress”.

They don’t have additional showers in your local pool for actual showering? Theaw were like the rinsing showers but since there were about 12, not 2 or 3, and there were no other private showers then that’s where you were expected to shower. Which to me is just bizarre.

Sorry people, the reply button isn’t quoting the post I’m replying to!

 

MLD No I’m not Muslim, I would have have turned straight back around as soon as I saw the Male attendant if I had as it’s Haram to be seen by a Male who is not a relation, in a state of “undress”.

 

They don’t have additional showers in your local pool for actual showering? Theaw were like the rinsing showers but since there were about 12, not 2 or 3, and there were no other private showers then that’s where you were expected to shower. Which to me is just bizarre.

There was an earlier comment about Muslims? Is your community Muslim then? Or what’s the relevance of that comment?

I still don’t think it’s weird. But I never shower at gyms. I rinse and leave and shower at my own place. It wouldn’t phase me.

It’s not my local pool, so I have no idea if there is a Muslim community, but the only other pool I have been to that has had female only sessions (and Male only ones too, no sexism there lol) was due to Muslims in the locality, my thinking being it’s a waste of time if they are doing it for Muslims.

I always (except this time) shower thoroughly after the pool, as does everyone else I know, because often you have other plans afterwards. What a pain in the butt to have to go home to shower then come back to where you were. Waste of time for me. Plus I can be far, far from home when swimming and with friends, so then you would need to inconvenience them all piling back to their house to shower lol

It takes me too much time to get ready after swimming. I want all my things with me. Not a waste of time.

By the time I’ve driven home from the pool I could be ready and heading to where I want to be (or work, but who wants to be there? 🤣)

I've been in quite a few awkward situations in my life... but if I were the male lifeguard slotted to watch the pool during an women-only swim session, that would certainly be near the top of the list. I'm not sure there is a "right" way to act (aside from making sure everyone makes it in and out of the pool OK).

I don't think there's anything wrong with writing in with a request for a female lifeguard so far as you're not throwing in subjective misgivings about the guy's seeming aloofness. Whoever's doing the scheduling might simply be going off an availability sheet and have no idea about the event itself.

Yes it would be hell for me too and I would ask to not work that slot. I think him just watching the pool would be looking normal, since that’s what he’s there for.

I wouldn’t mention his behaviour as it’s not a crime to be arkward or creepy, whichever way you interpret it. I can’t say there was anything about his behaviour that was definitely out of line, plus I always doubt myself, so I’m thinking did he actually do that or am I interpreting his behaviour as creepy because I feel uncomfortable?