Dealing with Physical Touch Love Language & Sexual Frustration

Hello everyone! First time post, seeking advice.

My wife and I have been struggling for years in differences in how we feel love and our sexuality. We've been through counseling and it has been very beneficial, but we still have some tough issues we have been unable to resolve. My wife most definately feels love through acts of service, and I through physical touch. I have a very high labido, and my wife not so much. This is where we have problems. I feel most loved through strong embraces, and skin to skin contact, along with being felt. Unfortunately there a couple of issues with this. My wife feels uncomfortable sleeping without cloths, and gets quite warm in bed. In addition a lot of what makes me feel loved will also get me aroused. This in turn causes me to become sexually frustrated when my wife is trying to give me love, and creates problems. Has anyone ever dealt with a similar issue? Does anyone have any ideas of how to make it easier for my wife to feel that her love is being received, without making her feel as though I am just frustrated with her? And also, any advice on how I can try to alleviate some of that frustration?

In my first marriage, I had a normal libido and my husband had a high one. In essence, he taught me NOT to hug him or kiss him if I wasn't in the mood to have sex, as just giving him this sort of affection aroused him. And then he got pissed complaining that I wasn't affectionate enough. Well, no matter what I did, I ended up losing. I imagine that's the same issue you have. Sorry, but you can control what attitude you're going to have. If she likes to have sex twice a week, but on the other days when you know you're both tired from work and it's not a day she'd want to, when she hugs you, have good thoughts that you have a loving wife, and after the hug, go cool off by doing something else that will bring you back down to not being aroused. Stick an ice cube down your pants. You don't have to show frustration. Just change your train of thought and move on to another activity.

Knowing your love languages is important, and you two can compromise a bit. Maybe she can get in the mood one time more than normal during the week to satisfy you, and you can do an extra act of service for her. It doesn't hurt to communicate your needs, as long as they are reasonable. Good luck.

we still have some tough issues we have been unable to resolve.

Why not bring these back to your counselor?

Why not bring these back to your counselor?

Can't afford the sessions anymore...