Friendship or Not?

So, I met this guy (I am a guy) on an online dating website and we had a week of conversation (on text and video chat) that was simply superb. We both are really well matched in interests and certainly good to try dating each other. He suggested that he was not completely open to his family (he is out as gay, but not as one who is dating) and needed time to decide if he wanted to officially date and I told him I am in no hurry, and would respect his timeline. We continued talking and he seemed genuinely interested in wanting to get to know me, and even told me he felt the need to share this with his family. I, on my part, told him that it was his choice, and I was not asking him to rush anything.

The following day, he tells me that after much thought he is not ready for dating and that he doesn't want to string me on. He also told me he was open to being friends. At first I told him I was not sure what being friends was (since we met online and all we were doing was being friends so far), but also that if he was positive he didn't want to date in the near future, I would rather not chat so much (we used to talk hours!) and unwittingly end up developing feelings. He agreed and said good bye. I told him if he decided to date I would be open to talking again as I thought he was a good match. He thanked me for being so understanding.

After a few days I felt bad on the way it ended and wanted to accept the offer for friendship he had originally made. He agreed and said he would love to be friends. But ever since he has not initiated any contact. I sent my email over and even said looking forward to interact but no response. I am confused if I can do anything beyond this point (perhaps I've already made myself look desperate). If I should have done anything differently. I don't want to violate his space if that is what he is needing. It is just that I feel disappointed that he is such a good guy a potential connection is fading away even before it got a fair chance.

He might have just been agreeing to your offer of friendship to be nice. It may be that he's still hiding that part of himself. Sometimes gays will tell their families they're gay but not dating to gain acceptance. Maybe he doesn't like you in a dating way. But whatever the reason, he doesn't want a relationship with you right now. That's why he hasn't contacted you. He was just trying to let you down nicely.

Thanks DanZee. You are right. I thought so too , but it feels better to hear it from others. It is just that I have been through more than a couple of such "bad timing" experiences. This time I even asked explicitly to know if there was something about me (silly, I know!) and was told no I was just perfect and actually kind but it's bad timing. Sometimes I wish I could say something that could make the difference.

I told him if he decided to date I would be open to talking again as I thought he was a good match. He thanked me for being so understanding.

This makes good sense. Everything that followed does not. It's not wise or honest to play friendzies with anyone you're interested in for something else. I'd leave him alone, and if he's ever ready to date, he will let you know.