Boyfriend of 3 years has never put any effort into birthdays/holidays

My boyfriend and I have dated for 3 years, almost 4. We are both 21, students, and have lived together for the past 6 months.

Today was the first Valentine's Day we've celebrated together because we used to be long distance. I got him a rose and surprised him with Olive Garden take out when he got back from work. We sat and ate it without talking much while he scrolled through social media on his phone. I asked about a week ago if he had anything planned for today and he didn't say he did, but I thought he would've done something for me. I would've been happy with any little thing, a chocolate bar, a handwritten note, some undivided attention or pampering, even a cleaned apartment would've put a smile on my face. He blamed it on being broke at the moment, but has bought himself food multiple times this past week. I didn't need his gift to be something of monetary value and told him that. He told me he'd give me a massage but went to bed early and forgot I guess. I feel embarrassed because I put forth effort and planned for today and he didn't even seem appreciative. He knew I was upset and didn't react to it at all.

All of my birthdays have been this way too. The night before my 20th birthday he stayed up and drank with his friends. When he came home the next day, he had an assignment due at midnight that he hadn't even started. He didn't come to my family dinner, he didn't get me anything, and then when I went to his house to see him I did nothing for over 2 hours waiting for him to finish his assignment. By the time he was done it was past 12 pm and technically no longer my birthday. We had no plans and basically did nothing. On the night of my 21st birthday we went to get beer at a liquor store. He randomly picked up a handle of rum and told me he was buying it for me as a gift. Later that night he coincidentally had another assignment due and didnt go out with my friends and I to celebrate.

I can't think of one time hes gone out of his way to show me affection since highschool. When we were seniors he made me a super detailed and personalized mauraders map (from Harry Potter) to ask me to prom. He had to of put hours of work into it so I just don't get why he doesn't do things for me anymore. I've talked to him about this before and it seems like he just doesn't understand what I'm asking of him. So, I guess I'm just asking for any advice. It sucks feeling lonely on Valentine's Day while being in a relationship.

He will never be romantic and if you can live w/that stay, if you can't, you need to find someone else. There are men out there who are extremely caring towards their gf, not necessarily in a monetary way, but just thinking about them. I can tell you he isn't worth it.

You have your whole adult life ahead of you. Is this the guy you envision spending it with?