Did I overreact?

My girlfriend of three months and I have been having a long distance relationship. She visited me few times during this three months and this time I am visiting her.

She took me a club that she usually goes and everything was fine until she started to talk a guy on her way back from restroom. they talked for few seconds and then gave a kiss each other on the cheek.

When I asked her who the guy is, she told me he is a guy who wanted to be her boyfriend before. She said that she just told him that I am her fiance and that is all. both me and she was drunk. I got angry and said we had to go and we left the club then had a fight at the taxi.

would appreciate any recommendation and opinions...

did I overreact or she mishandle the situation? Does not she has to cut contact with guys that like her while she is in a relationship with me? I found the way she acted disrespectful to me.

She talked to a friend for a few minutes and you went ballistic? What's wrong with you?

You had better start apologizing over and over to her and blame it on the booze. No, she's not suppose to give up every friend she has just because she's in a long-distance relationship with you! You're not even around for very long. You are never going to have a girlfriend for very long if you act this way. Apologize to her and grow up!

She talked to a friend for a few minutes and you went ballistic? What's wrong with you?

 

You had better start apologizing over and over to her and blame it on the booze. No, she's not suppose to give up every friend she has just because she's in a long-distance relationship with you! You're not even around for very long. You are never going to have a girlfriend for very long if you act this way. Apologize to her and grow up!

Why are you being so rude? It was a guy that wanted to be her boyfriend and they kissed each other. I am in a relationship and I don't even know how she got herself in that whole situation. I would personally find it disrespectful if my boyfriend kissed another woman and then said "Oh that was just a girl that has a crush on me, don't worry, I told her you're my girlfriend." How crazy does that sound? I wasn't there so I can't say if the writer overreacted. If he yanked her out of the club and forced her out, then yes. But if he asked to leave because he felt uncomfortable, I would rather have that then a bar fight. The best thing the writer could do is talk to his fiance about this guy SOBER. Until then, there won't be any answers. Personally, my partner isn't free to kiss other girls, not sorry about that.

Yes, you over-reacted.

She told this guy about you. She didn't flirt with him. What else do you want?

Depending on where you live in the world, the cheek-kiss is a standard way to greet friends and carries no romantic connotation. Is that true in your area as well, OP? It is where I live.

I agree, I think you over-reacted.

If it is a club that she frequents, likely half the guys there would have wanted a chance with her. And if she went regularly and had got to know some of the other regulars, guys even. She likely knew that he liked her, perhaps he asked her out several times before and this was just another go. Perhaps even, and you might hate this, she slept with him before you guys were even a thing, and that was all she wanted from him. He is still keen and hit her up again, but she politely told him that she was with her boyfriend. And, it was a kiss on the cheek. It's not like she stuck her tongue down his throat.

I think she did the respectful thing. It's not like she can ring every guy who has had a crush on her and tell them never to approach her again. AND, it was a random run into at a club by some guy who has a crush on her.

I don't know that the kiss was necessary, though is some countries it's considered just being polite.

To be fair though, it sounds as though she was happy to be with you and wanted this man to know. You should be happy for that, not upset.

How often do you see each other? How did you meet? Did you ever tell her you wanted to be exclusive? It sounds like casual dating and that she's still dating locally.

My girlfriend of three months and I have been having a long distance relationship.

Both sides of my family are southern European and I was raised on cheek to cheek kissing, which doesn't actually involve lips making contact with anything. Honestly, if their affiliation is little more than casual friends after he'd failed to pick her up, I'd find it strange if they were actually kissing each other's cheek, but that's probably because I've never met anyone whose custom is to do that in that context. Still, at the end of the day and at face value, I'd say you definitely over reacted, bud.

Did everyone overlook the fact that they're dating long distance, have been together for 3 months, and she told this guy in the club her new boyfriend is her fiance....?

Anyway.

Yes, you overreacted, and I hope that the two of you can sit down and have a rational conversation about it while you're both sober. It sounds like she handled the interaction appropriately (if a bit weirdly with the fiance thing) and you acted like a jealous lout. There are other men in the world who have liked your girlfriend before...and probably men who will like her/find her attractive in the future, too. How she handles that is important, and the boundaries she sets. If you act like a jerk every time she has an interaction with a guy, you're going to be the guy in the club in the future, seeing her with her new dude. (Except you live farther away. You get my point.)

Set some boundaries. If a kiss on the cheek is inappropriate to you, address that. ONLY that.

I get what everyone is saying, and agree BUT why did she feel it necessary to say "he's a guy who wanted to be my boyfriend."

Come on, of course that was gonna get the OP's head spinning a bit!

Some things are just better left unsaid (my late mom taught me that).

Why not just say "He's a friend. I told him you were my fiancé."

OP would you have reacted the same had she said that instead of mentioning he wanted (or wants) to be her boyfriend? That was just an unnecessary piece of information in my opinion.

That said, to the OP, just cause she has a BF, she's still "allowed" to talk to other guys. She told him you were her fiancé which was the correct thing to do. The kiss thing on cheek is standard in some cultures.

? I found the way she acted disrespectful to me.

Yes you overreacted.

It would be helpful to work on your self-esteem and confidence. Your ego is very frail if it can't handle a kiss on the cheek.

My girlfriend of three months and I have been having a long distance relationship. She visited me few times during this three months and this time I am visiting her.

 

She took me a club that she usually goes and everything was fine until she started to talk a guy on her way back from restroom. they talked for few seconds and then gave a kiss each other on the cheek.

 

When I asked her who the guy is, she told me he is a guy who wanted to be her boyfriend before. She said that she just told him that I am her fiance and that is all. both me and she was drunk. I got angry and said we had to go and we left the club then had a fight at the taxi.

 

would appreciate any recommendation and opinions...

 

did I overreact or she mishandle the situation? Does not she has to cut contact with guys that like her while she is in a relationship with me? I found the way she acted disrespectful to me.

Two things. First, you both were drunk, which means that neither of you were thinking straight. Second, this is a long distance situation, and there is always the hidden concern of what the other is doing between meetings.