Received flowers for Valentine's Day from ex, what do I do? PLEASE HELP

My boyfriend of over 2 yrs broke up with me almost a month ago. He sent flowers today (Valentine's Day). I don't know if I should respond or not and if I should, I don't know what to say. Truth be told, I want him back badly.

Advice is greatly appreciated

That’s nice. What did the card say? Did he treat you well? Why did you break up?

If you want him back then here is your open door to seize that opportunity. Have you done any self reflecting since the break up? How will your issues be different or better this time around?

As the posters above are saying I really think it depends why you guys broke up. If he treated you badly (cheated, lied etc) and now he's creeping back around, then regardless of your feelings I don't think a response is warranted. However if he was nice to you and things just didn't work out for some other reason then this is a great opportunity to reignite the flame

He needs space. Doesn’t understand why he couldn’t propose. We are VERY long distance and he ended it after me being with him for a couple months.

Card said thank you for understanding as I take my space and thinking of you.

I feel he is my one but he “doesn’t love me like I love him”. We are older and this feels juvenile.

He always treated me wonderfully. He is a good man that is totally lost.

I’m taking care of myself and growing. Have had very minimal contact since breakup.

I feel remaining silent and doing my thing is what I should do.

Walking out on a relationship is difficult for me to understand. Especially when he assured me we were in this together!

I kinda feel like he’s testing me and as long as I’m “available” he will continue this behavior.

He has done this in the past but it was never termed “a breakup” and it never lasted more than a handful of days.

I want him to realize my worth and want me in his life and never throw me on the craps table again

First you said “over 2 years then you said “a couple months”. How long were you actually together? And what does “very” long distance mean? How often do you see him?

Our relationship was over 2 years. My last visit was 2 months.

We are 6500 miles apart. We see each other in the winter and spring (I visit for at least a month) and he visits me for a couple months during the summer.

We’ve been doing this for over 2 yrs

How did you meet someone so far away?

How old are you both?

we are in our 40's

we were both on vacation when we met

So when you say you were with him for 2 months, does that mean you stayed with him for 2 months? Do you have a job? Does he? How are you both able to see each other that much?

I know there is hope he will come around BUT I want the man I knew...the one who would NEVER get scared, or whatever and run away. I want to make a decision (respond to the flowers) based on that. He thanked me for understanding him taking space. Shouldn't I just not respond and continue to give him what he wants/asked for???

Yes, we both have good jobs and we are able to do that.

As the posters above are saying I really think it depends why you guys broke up. If he treated you badly (cheated, lied etc) and now he's creeping back around, then regardless of your feelings I don't think a response is warranted. However if he was nice to you and things just didn't work out for some other reason then this is a great opportunity to reignite the flame

I agree with the above. Depends on why you broke up. But if he was a good match and you both just needed a break to figure it out, then this is the opportunity. Guys don't care about Valentine's Day but they do know it's the perfect time to show a girl her worth. He had made the first step... But do be cautious if he is a player (I. E cheated)

Xxx

I mentioned it all above. On the card he thanked me for for understanding him taking space. Shouldn't I just not respond and continue to give him what he wants/asked for?

I was a strong, secure man that is unwilling to walk away from something as beautiful as we had (and he felt it too).

I'm so torn because he asked for the space and hasn't done ANYTHING to make me think he is regretting his decision. I'm afraid if I respond it will say...hey I'm right here waiting for you to decide if I'm worth it". that feels so pathetic and unattractive to me

I mentioned it all above. On the card he thanked me for for understanding him taking space. Shouldn't I just not respond and continue to give him what he wants/asked for?

I was a strong, secure man that is unwilling to walk away from something as beautiful as we had (and he felt it too).

I'm so torn because he asked for the space and hasn't done ANYTHING to make me think he is regretting his decision. I'm afraid if I respond it will say...hey I'm right here waiting for you to decide if I'm worth it". that feels so pathetic and unattractive to me

Besides thanks what else is there to say? and then it just gets akward. appreciate that you love him and he cared enough to send them.

let it go for now

Don't respond. Honestly, the relationship is going nowhere if there is no hope or effort for either of you to move (either one moves to the other one's city or at least a more reasonable distance to visit more often or you both move closer). I would not respond to him. Its like apology flowers. I would just consider it done. And do not answer him unless the contact is meaningful (ie, he figured things out. he was just scared because it was so long distance and decided what action he will take) I would focus on meeting someone closer

I've read a few threads now and seem to have a clearer idea of the situation. I think standing on the outside it doesn't seem like a relationship you should chase. If it's going to work, he should contact you.

I've not been in this situation before, so no idea why he would send flowers to say thanks for giving him space. But it seems that it is space he wants and so therefore I would suggest giving him the space still.

I'm going through a break up and believe me I know how hard it is to work out what's best... But since coming here and getting feedback, it's so clear to everyone else I should let it go.

I'm sorry to write this but I think the same applies to you. And if he is ready, he will get you back. By then you might not want him

Xx

Don't respond. Honestly, the relationship is going nowhere if there is no hope or effort for either of you to move (either one moves to the other one's city or at least a more reasonable distance to visit more often or you both move closer). I would not respond to him. Its like apology flowers. I would just consider it done. And do not answer him unless the contact is meaningful (ie, he figured things out. he was just scared because it was so long distance and decided what action he will take) I would focus on meeting someone closer

There was hope of moving there. Something we had discussed in depth. I was there for longer to explore it. He was different, stressed, not happy. We did have great times too but it was #reallife. I thought my last visit strengthened us but it made him question us. He has said, I know I will regret this...I feel like I'm making a mistake but I don't know what to do. Something is blocking me. Why can't I marry you or move you here. Now...He has ALL the space he could possibly wish for and EVEN MORE so he can find himself and wake up.

I will not be responding to the flowers nor will I answer without something more meaningful.

At the moment, meeting someone else is not even in the realm of possibility, I do not want anyone but him and am taking this opportunity to have my own space. I just didn't want to make a bad decision with regards to remaining silent. It is helpful to get neutral insight. I'm grateful for everyone that has taken the time to respond.

Thank you Natkyri

I have let him go as much as I cold and everyday I let go even more. I will not chase him. It will 1) push him further 2) destroy my self-respect.

One day he will be back but I fear I may not be around to come home to...

I'm so sorry you're going through this too. There is no greater pain.

I wish you well

If you were very long-distance anyway, what exactly does he need space from? You two already had as much space as one possibly could.

Personally? I would be mighty ticked that he had the stones to send me flowers only to subtly remind me he still needs space after already breaking up. If he couldn't handle long-distance and it made him request space, then I can't see how closing the distance and living in the same place would have worked.

I am and I just found out that he is "open to being with other women" SO...that being said. The note says, thank you for understanding that I am going to F%$# other women.

I'M DONE!

Sorry for wasting everyones' time and energy here. I see I meant nothing to him.

Devastated...absolutely. Crying my eyes out but the tears will stop and now he really is "going to regret this. It will be the biggest mistake of his life" Those were his words. He set his fate...

you meant a lot to him. still do. as much as he has ability to experience. that is the key, he doesn't have the capacity for more.

it is as if he resents you for being so perfect, and appreciates you (to the degree that he can).

what's blocking him is him. it has nothing to do with you.

Yeah, when a guy says he needs his space, it usually means he wants to get away from the relationship. I think he had another girlfriend on the hook at home, probably in the same position as you are in. Forget about him and look around for another guy who will appreciate you.

It seems he's sorry for ending it but does not want to be with you, no less get married. You seem over invested and it was much more casual to him than to you. It would be best to stay no contact and block and delete him. Date local men who you can get to know better and who want the same things you do.

Doesn’t understand why he couldn’t propose.. I feel he is my one but he “doesn’t love me like I love him”.