Wait to see him after Valentine’s Day?

Went on a first date with a guy I met on bumble on Saturday night. We went out to dinner and it was great, we clicked and the conversation was great. We talked about hanging out again in the future but never made any concrete plans. I told him I was going out to the bars that night and that maybe I’ll see him there. We texted each other later that night while we were both out but never ended up meeting up again due to timing issues (I had left already). He then texted saying that he had really fun at dinner and that he can’t wait to meet up again and hopes that I had a super fun night. I responded by saying I had fun as well and thanked him for dinner again. We have not talked since.

Tonight is trivia night at a bar downtown and we had talked about this over dinner. He said he had never been and asked if I was going to be there on Wednesday (it’s every Wednesday). At that time, I wasn’t sure if I was going yet since I usually go with coworkers. I still don’t know if I’m going tonight but I figured I’d text him and see if he wanted to go but since it is Valentine’s Day and I just met this guy, not sure if that would be too much or ok since it’s just trivia... I wouldn’t want a full on date this soon anyway.

Anyway, should I ask to go tonight or just wait to see him after today?

Why not wait for him to ask about it. Keep in mind you were on one date and are both multidating, so see if he comes forward and texts. Why meet up in bars rather than wait for him to ask for a date or suggest a date? Are you looking for hookups rather than "full on dates"?

We have not talked since.

 

I wouldn’t want a full on date this soon anyway.

 

Can you explain what this^ means? What is a "full-on date" as opposed to a regular date? And how long do you have to be dating a man before you will propose or agree to a full-on date? A bit confused about that.

Re tonight, although I'm not big on holidays and V-Day means absolutely nothing to me (I mean that guys, in fact my bf is working and won't see him till Friday), guys can sometimes be weird about things like this and misinterpret your intentions.

So I wouldn't.

I still don’t know if I’m going tonight but I figured I’d text him and see if he wanted to go but since it is Valentine’s Day and I just met this guy, not sure if that would be too much or ok since it’s just trivia.

Valentines Day does hold a certain awkwardness if you just meet someone prior doesn't it? I'd lay low and let him steer the ship. You haven't talked in 4 days, so he might interpret that you are ghosting him and vice-versa

but see what happens later today. If nothing, maybe tomorrow will be the day things can come together for date #2

Can you explain what this^ means? What is a "full-on date" as opposed to a regular date? And how long do you have to be dating a man before you will propose or agree to a full-on date? A bit confused about that.

 

Re tonight, although I'm not big on holidays and V-Day means absolutely nothing to me (I mean that guys, in fact my bf is working and won't see him till Friday), guys can sometimes be weird about things like this and misinterpret your intentions.

 

So I wouldn't.

Haha I meant a full on valentines date because that is more serious than I need since we haven’t known each other for that long

Why not wait for him to ask about it. Keep in mind you were on one date and are both multidating, so see if he comes forward and texts. Why meet up in bars rather than wait for him to ask for a date or suggest a date? Are you looking for hookups rather than "full on dates"?

No I am not looking for a hookup, I just think it might be a little weird on Valentine’s Day since like you said, we were only on one date.

Despite saying that he'd like to see you again, he hasn't contacted you since. If he is interested, let him show it and contact you and arrange a date. I wouldn't reach out to him suggesting anything at this point.

Thanks for all the responses. I guess everyone is on the same page here - don’t reach out and let him initiate the next meet up

Don't do it. You want to see him again and see trivia as a high probability hook because you have already talked about it before.

It'll feel weird due to the Valentine's Day issue (the rule on VDay is you don't contact each other because everything can see like "too little" or "too much").

Plus I would personally take it as a negative sign if you had a first date on Saturday and there are no concrete plans to hang out again, or any new contact. I had an 11 hour long first date with a Bumble guy on Saturday (breakfast to lunch to dinner) which I think to any outside observer might seem like a smashing success, but I don't plan on seeing him again. I just didn't feel the connection.

You gots to wait.

I had an 11 hour long first date with a Bumble guy on Saturday (breakfast to lunch to dinner) which I think to any outside observer might seem like a smashing success, but I don't plan on seeing him again. I just didn't feel the connection.

Anyway... OP, I honestly don't see the issue. Particularly if he was the one to ask you out and organize the first date, there's not a single thing wrong with bringing up trivia night if you're planning on going and he's voiced an interest. Trivia night sounds like a perfectly fine activity for a second date. It's not like it'd be a Valentine's Day candlelit dinner. Just don't get tanked and exchange goodbyes outside the bar.

I know that he hasn't arranged another date yet, but you also bypassed his eagerness to hang out with you again when you simply said you had a good night and thanks for the dinner.

I don't think I've ever blinked so many times after reading something.

 

Anyway... OP, I honestly don't see the issue. Particularly if he was the one to ask you out and organize the first date, there's not a single thing wrong with bringing up trivia night if you're planning on going and he's voiced an interest. Trivia night sounds like a perfectly fine activity for a second date. It's not like it'd be a Valentine's Day candlelit dinner. Just don't get tanked and exchange goodbyes outside the bar.

 

I know that he hasn't arranged another date yet, but you also bypassed his eagerness to hang out with you again when you simply said you had a good night and thanks for the dinner.

Yeah I’m a bit conflicted right now... Saturday night after I told him I had already left (this was later on after our date when we were both out), he wrote back saying “well we’ll hang out again right? Lol” and I wrote back saying “haha yes”. And then that’s when he sent the text about having fun at dinner etc etc so maybe I didn’t seem as enthusiastic?

Yeah I’m a bit conflicted right now... Saturday night after I told him I had already left (this was later on after our date when we were both out), he wrote back saying “well we’ll hang out again right? Lol” and I wrote back saying “haha yes”. And then that’s when he sent the text about having fun at dinner etc etc so maybe I didn’t seem as enthusiastic?

Texting is tricky business. Impossible to see emotion in them.

I don't think I've ever blinked so many times after reading something.

 

Anyway... OP, I honestly don't see the issue. Particularly if he was the one to ask you out and organize the first date, there's not a single thing wrong with bringing up trivia night if you're planning on going and he's voiced an interest. Trivia night sounds like a perfectly fine activity for a second date. It's not like it'd be a Valentine's Day candlelit dinner. Just don't get tanked and exchange goodbyes outside the bar.

 

I know that he hasn't arranged another date yet, but you also bypassed his eagerness to hang out with you again when you simply said you had a good night and thanks for the dinner.

Listen to j.man.

If someone arranges a date with me and the next meeting that i suggest is me behind a buffer of friends and not one on one - and its up to me to play "guess what time he'll be at the bar" and also decide if i want to go through the judging committee on our second meeting (because all the friends will be there), to me its someone giving me almost a soft "no" -- they don't feel comfortable enough to see me one on one. Take a bull by the horns. You suggested the next date (trivia night) and he expressed interest. So ask him "hey, i mentioned that trivia nigh was tonight. Are you up for it? or would you like to go to dinner Friday?" That gives him the opportunity to pick friday if V Day is awkward or you can be honest that you kinda at first were nervous about asking because it was V_Day. Its short notice now so its okay that he doesn't bite for tonight, but if he picks Friday, perhaps he wants to see you one on one and that's a good sign.

If you are going to trivia with your friends, Valentine’s Day or not, I think it’s better to not ask him, just because you should be going out just the two of you, not as a group. Maybe next “trivia night”, you can prepare in advance and just ask him in advance and just the two of you can go. Ask him for next week!

If you are going to trivia with your friends, Valentine’s Day or not, I think it’s better to not ask him, just because you should be going out just the two of you, not as a group. Maybe next “trivia night”, you can prepare in advance and just ask him in advance and just the two of you can go. Ask him for next week!

That is a good point. But don't AVOID talking to him today just because its Valentine's day. maybe arrange a date for later in the week and then state what you are doing tonight, and if he expresses strong interest tell him that you thought about asking him, but you want to see him without your friends.

That is a good point. But don't AVOID talking to him today just because its Valentine's day. maybe arrange a date for later in the week and then state what you are doing tonight, and if he expresses strong interest tell him that you thought about asking him, but you want to see him without your friends.

Yes, I didn’t plan on going with friends but I’d be open to going if he wanted to which is why I thought about asking him. I don’t even know what to do at this point... might just let tonight slide and see if he wants to go bowling tomorrow night instead since we talked about that as well at dinner

Yes, I didn’t plan on going with friends but I’d be open to going if he wanted to which is why I thought about asking him. I don’t even know what to do at this point... might just let tonight slide and see if he wants to go bowling tomorrow night instead since we talked about that as well at dinner

CALL HIM and give him options. "hey, i have been thinking, you mentioned an interest in trivia night. Would you be up for trying it tonight or if not, would you like to go bowling tomorrow or friday?" that leaves it in his court. Or if you get chicken, just ask if he is up for dinner and bowling tomorrow. It is getting late to ask him out for tonight, so hurry up if you want to do it (but depends on your timezone.) or just ask him out for later in the week

Hey jackie, I’ve changed my mind about this (what else is new lol).

Him saying "So we're going to see each other again, right?" reflects some insecurity on his part (imo anyway), soooo...

Why not shoot him a text wishing him a happy V-Day and asking him if he'd be up for joining you at trivia night.

I mean you can't avoid the fact it's V-Day; frankly it's silly to just avoid it.

You talked about trivia night, there's a common interest there, and the bottom line is, if he's interested in you he will love that you wished him a happy V-Day and asked him to join you tonight.

If he's not into you, then he may decline but gauge how he responds, you'll be able to tell a lot from that.

That's my final answer!

Good luck and have fun!

Hey jackie, I’ve changed my mind about this (what else is new lol).

 

Him saying "So we're going to see each other again, right?" reflects some insecurity on his part (imo), soooo...

 

Why not shoot him a text wishing him a happy V-Day and asking him if he'd be up for joining you at trivia night.

 

I mean you can't avoid the fact it's V-Day; frankly it's silly to just avoid it.

 

You talked about trivia night, there's a common interest there, and the bottom line is, if he's interested in you he will love that you wished him a happy V-Day and asked him to join you tonight.

 

If he's not into you, then he may decline but gauge how he responds, you'll be able to tell a lot from that.

 

That's my final answer!

 

Good luck and have fun!

Hahah I just texted him about tonight!

Hahah I just texted him about tonight!

Good for you

Hahah I just texted him about tonight!

LOL, I love this. I'm completely on edge now waiting for his reply and it's not even happening to me!

Let us know what he says! What time is it there? It's 3:10 pm here.

Hahah I just texted him about tonight!

Good, I don't get why folks are losing their minds about a day. It's a big deal if you're in a relationship,maybe, the fact is this day means jack romantically if you're single or on a first or second date.

Hahah I just texted him about tonight!

Good, I don't get why folks are losing their minds about a day. It's a big deal if you're in a relationship,maybe, the fact is this day means jack romantically if you're single or on a first or second date.

It would be like we're both Jewish and you're stressing over whether or not we should meet up on Christmas.

LOL, I love this. I'm completely on edge now waiting for his reply and it's not even happening to me!

 

Let us know what he says! What time is it there? It's 3:10 pm here.

He hasn’t written back yet! It’s 7pm here... bingo usually starts at 9:30. He was a bit slow responding when we first exchanged numbers but never this long. I don’t know what to think, he may just be busy. Not going to overthink anything at this point

He just wrote back and apologized for not responding until now. He said he wanted to go tonight but has to go to an event for one of his classes and asked if I was just staying for trivia night. Guess he was just caught up in stuff! Oh well I’m sure we will reschedule :)