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Hold on or let go?


onachaseforu

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I met a guy in may when he started as a cook at a local restaurant where im employed. He was one of those that i took one look at and knew that we would never “click”. Fast forward a few weeks and we started hanging out. I have really fell head over heels for him. In september, he ended up getting arrested and spending nearly 4 months in jail. Prior to this, he had told me that he didnt really see a relationship between us and that we would remain friend with benefits. The entire time he was in jail, i was the only one who put money on his account, weote him letters, answered his calls, and visited him. In letters he continued to say that he didnt feel how i did. He got out in january and we have been together sexually many times amd we have hung out without sexual relations also. Tonight, i told him how i really felt and that i felt like the chase is what kept me running. He says the chase would never turn into anything. I have asked him several times what it is about me that he doesnt like but he will never give me a direct answer. He has an ex gf thats hours away that hes still hung up on but shes engaged. I care so much about him but i truly dont know what to do or where to turn.

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He can't make it any clearer, he isn't interested, you even said you two don't click, so think about it, what is it about this specific guy besides the fact that he's rejecting you. He's doing jail time so im assuming he doesn't have much going for him, he doesn't treat you well. This is blantantly obvious it's about you and not him.

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What is the attraction?

 

He has disrespected you, told you he only wants you for sex, is a felon, and in love with someone else. Wake up!

 

You self esteem in really in the toilet. I can't understand why you even talk to this LOSER, much less care about him. Would you want a sister or best friend to be involved with a creep like this?

 

Why was he put in prison? Get some counseling ASAP. You need to address some deep-rooted issues, which would attract you to this dynamic.

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Well, you're setting yourself up to get hurt. How many times does he have to tell you that this is it? You're a Friend With Benefits. That's it. A lot of women don't understand that guys can just have sex with a girl and it doesn't mean the same as when a woman has sex with a guy. A guy doesn't equate sex with love, but a lot of women do. On top of that, the guy's already gone to jail at least once. He doesn't seem like the best kind of dude to be hanging around with.

 

What's happening is you're falling in love with him and to him you're just someone to have sex with. You're going to get hurt when he leaves you and goes back to his ex, or he finds another girl to be with. (The third alternative is he goes back to jail again.) You're just going to be a "friend."

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He can't make it any clearer, he isn't interested, you even said you two don't click, so think about it, what is it about this specific guy besides the fact that he's rejecting you. He's doing jail time so im assuming he doesn't have much going for him, he doesn't treat you well. This is blantantly obvious it's about you and not him.

 

The jail time was for traffic violations.

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Wow you go to jail for traffic violations? Wow - he must’ve had A LOT of violations.

 

Let’s talk here:

1) you just met him and he WENT TO JAIL

2) you barely know him and you’re SENDING HIM MONEY IN JAIL

3) he is HUNG UP ON ANOTHER GIRL

4) if those three aren’t enough, he only wants to be friends with benefits with you.

 

If you are talking to guys in jail, things must be pretty bad. There’s gotta he someone better out there for you!

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The jail time was for traffic violations.

 

Let's say this is true, which come on he's there long enough for you to put money on his books and send him letters, what kinda traffic violation was he committing? But let's say thats true, he's still going to jail. People with their sh*t together don't go to jail, especially not for something like tickets!

 

This doesn't sound at all promising. You can do better.

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