Supermarket conversation starters

I’m looking to improve my skills at having conversations, particularly with strangers. One of the places that I think would be good for this is at a supermarket till when buying something etc.

However, I’m not very good at moving from a plain purchasing something conversation to something a bit different, that could lead to something more substantial, and hopefully get to know the person a bit.

Does anyone have any tips (and examples) for how to do this?

Are you looking for conversation starters because you are shy and want to be more social and can't even talk to staff to ask for something, or are you trying to meet someone to date?

I nearly screamed in terror reading this. You just described my worst nightmare.

Could just be me, but I'd honestly assume people just want to do their darn groceries in peace.

If you want to improve on social skills, start with the people you know- as for strangers, it at least wouldnt be intrusive if you happened to chat them up in an actually more social setting. Events and interest groups are perfect.

Sweet baby jesus I cannot be the only one who reaaaaalllyyy doesn't want to be chatted up while picking up groceries.

I would say the supermarket, aside from needing to learn to express your needs to the staff there, is not a good place to make conversations with people. people want to be in and out. They are on a mission. If you are in a small gourmet place that only sells olive oils or wine - you have a better chance of having a natural conversation that doesn't sound creepy. Or better yet, attend an event at the local health food store or the cooking class at William Sonoma.

I nearly screamed in terror reading this. You just described my worst nightmare.

 

Could just be me, but I'd honestly assume people just want to do their darn groceries in peace.

 

If you want to improve on social skills, start with the people you know- as for strangers, it at least wouldnt be intrusive if you happened to chat them up in an actually more social setting. Events and interest groups are perfect.

 

Sweet baby jesus I cannot be the only one who reaaaaalllyyy doesn't want to be chatted up while picking up groceries.

Me too -- i don't want to chat either and besides someone with limited mobility asking if i can please help them pick up what they dropped, i don't want to chat. Especially if people want to try "conversation starters"

Are you looking for conversation starters because you are shy and want to be more social and can't even talk to staff to ask for something, or are you trying to meet someone to date?

This would be as practice to help in social situations, not because I’m too shy to talk to a shop assistant!

Also, this would just be adding something extra into the conversation, not annoying other customers.

This would be as practice to help in social situations, not because I’m too shy to talk to a shop assistant!

 

Also, this would just be adding something extra into the conversation, not annoying other customers.

How did we know if you didn't elaborate?

I don't want "extra" in the conversation when i am at the grocery store.

I think its the wrong place to do it. Join a meetup group based on your interests or go somewhere where people WANT to talk to other people. The supermarket isn't the place to go.

This would be as practice to help in social situations, not because I’m too shy to talk to a shop assistant!

 

Also, this would just be adding something extra into the conversation, not annoying other customers.

Do you mean practising your small talk with cashiers?

The thing is, they might not want to hear a word from a fellow shopper, let alone have them throw in "something extra".

Not everyone is keen to hold unnecessary conversations beyond their established circle, for any number of reasons. Not everyone is keen to "meet new people, get to know them better, and have it develop into something more substantial", for any number of reasons. For those who are, there is usually a time and a place, and the time and place is commonly not when they are goal oriented, or present for one very obvious reason (ate through all the food I had, ran out of coffee, lightbulb died without an heir) and then they're off to the next task at hand.

A setting where ppl are actually present for the social aspect makes at least some of them automatically more approachable and open.

When one is well disposed to socializing, they usually place themselves in a position that obviously supports social interaction. When they're just going about their business, they are perhaps as interested in what clever thing some randomer has to say as I am.

"Practicing" is very well done with familiars btw, don't see how it reauires approaching ppl who don't demonstrate interest in being approached.

Good conversationalists and good "conversation starters" aren't the same. If you feel you are lacking in the first department, there is little point striking up more poor conversations. If, however, you just need an "opening cue", show up someplace where the cue is offering itself, whether that's a convention, public debate, fan club, sports or meetups or cheese tasting, whatever.

Your logic is a bit unclear, as it seems obvious for anyone who wants to mingle, there is opportunity aplenty so that you picked the supermarket (an "obligatory" place for anyone who does not want to starve) makes me wonder why you skipped the obvious settings, made for interaction. And you jump between "its practice" and "getting to know them better, getting to something more substantial" which leaves me too under the impression this is a matter of either shyness or social isolation or both ( in which case it's doubly so that you'd want to give yourself a better start by better choosing your opportunities).

This would be as practice to help in social situations, not because I’m too shy to talk to a shop assistant!

 

Also, this would just be adding something extra into the conversation, not annoying other customers.

Aren't there courses for this? Have you tried Meetups. You can discuss a common interest. I wouldn't do it in the market.

I am an extrovert and love to chat and meet new people. Not in the regular supermarket unless I was there to participate in a cooking demonstration. I even don't love when the cashiers make small talk about my items -I am polite and typically I'm in a rush. Also it's like striking up a conversation with someone in a small workout space or anywhere where they might be regular customers -it can feel threatening because they know they have to return there and then they have to worry about running into you again. I like your goal and there are many ways to practice that won't put people in awkward situations. How about a local toastmasters course?

This would be as practice to help in social situations, not because I’m too shy to talk to a shop assistant!

 

Also, this would just be adding something extra into the conversation, not annoying other customers.

Cashiers dont have time to talk about anything other than the weather.. You are there to pay, be polite, get your stuff and leave. Wrong place to try to have a conversation. You might have better luck if you talk to one of people stocking shelves or in the produce dept.

queues are not bad situations to strike up small talk if people are waiting and not preoccupied with something else.

I still don;t get the supermarket???

There are conversation classes you can enroll in at libraries, adult education schools, and colleges. A supermarket might not be the best place to start up conversations. You can also talk to Uber drivers while having them drive you to where you need to go. Think of places where conversations happen naturally. People talk while playing games, such as cards or board games. Cruise ships are a good place to talk to people, and you get a vacation at the same time. Going on dates is good for conversations too. In a supermarket you barely say two words to anyone.

I would not recommend you try out your conversation skills in line at the supermarket.

Nothing irritates me more than someone trying to strike up a conversation when I'm juggling groceries, bags, my wallet and loose change. It is really not the best time or place for a social chat, and if others are like me, it's going to be a pretty one-sided conversation for you.

Change the setting to a place where people are more relaxed and less task-oriented.

I engage in small talk occasionally at supermarkets, I don't know why everyone makes it out to be stressful or strange. We're all in line, someone makes a comment and you have a few sentences of chit chat. However the thought that someone starts the chit chat deliberately is a bit strange to me, usually its just a natural comment being made that sparks the conversation. What is strange about OP'S question is expecting it to turn into something meaningful.

I engage in small talk occasionally at supermarkets, I don't know why everyone makes it out to be stressful or strange. We're all in line, someone makes a comment and you have a few sentences of chit chat. However the thought that someone starts the chit chat deliberately is a bit strange to me, usually its just a natural comment being made that sparks the conversation. What is strange about OP'S question is expecting it to turn into something meaningful.

Yes, I do this too and am very aware of time constraints -so it's only if we're waiting (and often has to do with kids who we have with us or an item we're buying that's new, etc)- I would never try to continue the conversation beyond the time of waiting in line or suggest it be continued in the future unless it was a regular thing and I knew of the person in another way, like a neighbor.

There are places supermarkets where they have a busy cafe, where there is room for people to sit down, have some food and even a drink and socialize. So if you go to those places, sure you might be able to strike up a conversation starting with something as simple as asking if whatever they are having is good or some such. After that you really have to pay attention to whether the person gives you a short answer and isn't interested in more or if they are feeling chatty. Pick up on the cues the person is sending you and don't just forge blindly forward with your own agenda of talking. Keep in mind that a conversation is like a tennis game, if they aren't returning the ball, they aren't interested in talking more.

Other than that, I'd say work on social chit chat at social events. You'll find more success that way because people are much more open to socializing and talking there. It will be much easier and you can also observe how others go about it and learn from that.

How about a local toastmasters course?

Supermarket=No. Not as bad as an elevator, but close! Strangers in most parts of the world like to have this time to themselves.

I second Toastmasters. Look it up in your area, the first meeting is free, it's a great organization to build conversation skills, not to mention conquer most humans number one fear...Public Speaking.

If not, soul search for your interests and find a club or association. ie: if you like cooking, join a cooking class and natural conversations will occur.

I don't get why this is such a controversial topic. I don't know, maybe it's where I live, but people here strike up friendly conversations all the time.

If I don't have time for the conversation, or I'm not interested, I politely excuse myself.

If it's a cute guy, and it looks like he's trying to get my attention, I'm flattered.

I engage in small talk occasionally at supermarkets, I don't know why everyone makes it out to be stressful or strange. We're all in line, someone makes a comment and you have a few sentences of chit chat. However the thought that someone starts the chit chat deliberately is a bit strange to me, usually its just a natural comment being made that sparks the conversation. What is strange about OP'S question is expecting it to turn into something meaningful.

Ditto. It's just food shopping it's not an exam.

It's good to be friendly and make small talk in general. However many women may not want to get picked up in work coffee rooms by coworkers or in supermarkets by strangers. It would be best to do somethings where you see people on a regular basis such as clubs, courses, classes, volunteering, etc. Then you say hi regularly, make small talk and eventually go for coffee and so on.

I’m looking to improve my skills at having conversations, particularly with strangers. One of the places that I think would be good for this is at a supermarket till when buying something etc.

There is no taboo for being social anywhere to be honest. That said, when I'm shopping for groceries, I'm usually tired, hungry and even hangry. Trust me when I say that you do not want to get between me and my soon to be steak dinner. I'm going to make a wild guess that I'm not alone in this. I think the point that some people are trying to make is that the supermarket is not the best place to practice social skills for a novice as you are liable to come across above average hostility from people which will simply end up being discouraging and counterproductive. Unless you love trial by fire, in which case....go for it.....

In my experience hang around the pet-food section. I have struck up many a conversation over how cat's and dogs are so fussy on what to eat. When your deciding something different to feed your cat or dog quite often another person will be doing the same and commenting how fussy their pets are in their eating habits. Well it works for me anyways.