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Thread: My Wife and Her New Boss

  1. #541
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    Hi. Take it from experience. She is having a full blown emotional affair. Look it up and read the signs of an emotional affair and I guarantee you will be convinced. It may have already moved to a physical affair but it may not have done. This convention though is trouble and I can be 90% certain they will sleep together.
    I've been in the same boat. Its not pretty. They seem like a completely different person. The fact that she doesn't want to sit and talk means she is the one that's controlling you. Making you seem paranoid. Listen to me. You are NOTparanoid. Don't listen to her. LEFT UN CHECKED I WILL GUARANTEE THIS WILL RUIN YOUR MARRIDGE. SOUNDS LIKE IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE. sorry man. All about damage limitation now. If I were you I would focus on getting as much hard evidence of this cheating as possible so you can take it to divorce Lawyers.

  2. #542
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    I posted my above comment without reading the whole story. And boy did I read it all. page 1 to 55 from the time of my first post until now.

    It was like reading a deeply emotional novel and it hit me in a few places because I'm going through something similar right now. My one and only post got added yesterday evening if anyone cares to take a read.
    I feel like I know you just from reading this thread and its gonna be sad to not see your regular updates. When way your last post, 25 October and counting.

    You have inspired me into taking the moral path with a break up and I've been thinking about it for a while. We have been together 4 years and from 4 months into the relationship she got in contact with an old flame. so I've had 4 genuine months of quality in love relationship and 3 years and 8 months of ups downs lack of trust etc. its been bumpy but I think I'm coming to the end of the road with this one. Few things I need to get sorted first and allow myself to become more financially stable and then I think I will be looking to go down the road of ending things but I will surly look to take your approach and pull inspiration from your experience when things get tough. I know for sure they will. Regret, pain, doubting you have made the right decision but in the end the true colours will always come out.

    It has been really hard hitting (in a good way) reading this post. Maybe we will never hear from you again, maybe we will but I sincerely wish you all the best for the future and your new journey ahead. You are one of the bravest people I have known, at least when it comes to relationship breakups.
    Ive related so much with your story.

    Good luck and all the best for the future because it is certianly bright for you.

  3. #543
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    Thought I would post a little update since I haven't visited the forum in awhile. I had no idea people were still reading and posting on this thread. I want to thank everyone who wished me well, I've read all your replies and I wish I could thank you all in person, the words I write here are just not enough to express how I really feel about all your thoughtful encouragement. I'm not really sure how to respond to those of you who have been inspired by my roller coaster ride, I still feel a little embarrassed and uneasy about putting myself out here like this, but I'm also grateful and humbled that something I went through could help someone else out.

    I finally went out and got a new bed for the bedroom, since the condo is all mine now I see no reason why I should keep sleeping on the couch, seems kinda silly to keep that room empty. Been pretty quiet around here, keeping myself busy with work. I finally decided to meet with the OM's wife, she's holding up pretty well considering her stbx is also trying to sue the company for wrongful termination. She's quite a character, strong-willed and has a great sense of humor. I gave her copies of what I had and wished her well, I probably won't see her again, but she can handle herself pretty well and I have a feeling she'll be just fine.

    I got an invitation from my ex-wife's parents for Thanksgiving dinner, I broke NC and called her parents, spoke to her mom and explained that it's probably not a good idea for me to come over anymore, got a little choked up when she told me I was always welcome in their home and that she would always consider me her son-in law. My buddy invited me over to spend the holiday with him and his family but I said no thanks. I know this might sound selfish but I really don't feel much like being around other families this Thanksgiving. I've decided I just want to be alone this year. But I am cooking a big ham, a green bean casserole and a sweet potato pie!

    (yes I can cook too - lol!)

    One last thing, for any of you out there who are going through what I've just been through, I'll just say this, take the advice that applies to you, you'll know it when you hear it. In the end the decision to stay or leave is up to you. It's your life and you're the one that has to live it. There's a time and place for everything, there's a time to fight for a relationship and time to say enough is enough, and you'll know in your heart when that time comes, but most importantly, how you conduct yourself through the process is what will stay with you for a long time. You'll get angry, you'll have doubts, and you're going to make mistakes, that's okay, you're only human. but don't just ask yourself is the relationship worth it, also take the time to stop and examine your own self worth.

    Well that's all I have for now, not sure when I will be able to stop back by again, but I promise to check in from time to time when I get a chance. Headed to Dallas in December for another road trip to visit some friends. I'm still not dating, haven't even thought about it and probably won't even consider it for awhile, kind of enjoy being alone right now, but the woman I met on the fishing trip keeps texting me to meet up again. I'm still not interested in seeing anyone yet but I will say this for her - she's persistent (smile). Have a Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
    Last edited by KnightMan; 11-20-2018 at 04:27 PM.

  4. #544
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Knightman,
    I read your post and have been following your updates this whole time now. I have been wondering how you are, and how things are going. I have been silently cheering you on and praying, hoping, wishing for the best for you.
    I will continue to so do, even if you don't come here anymore.

    I think I can easily say that you've touched many of our hearts deeply as we can relate to your pain and your healing, even your backslides. We understand and have been there too.
    I meant it when I said that you will get better, this will get better. One day you will look back on it and see that it was only a chapter in your life.

    I do sincerely hope that you come back and update now and again. But I understand if you want to move past this and if leaving this forum helps with closure, then you do what you need to do.

    I hope your Thanksgiving dinner is really good. It sounds wonderful!
    You won't be alone. The thoughts and well wishes and healing vibes of love and happiness directly for you, will be surrounding you from strangers all over the world who will be hoping you're doing okay and that things are going okay for you.

    Come back anytime, you always have a place here.

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  6. #545
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    I broke NC and called her parents, spoke to her mom and explained that it's probably not a good idea for me to come over anymore, got a little choked up when she told me I was always welcome in their home and that she would always consider me her son-in law.

    This shows a high amount of class and maturity on your part, and theirs - the fact that you and the parents communicated in this manner.

  7. #546
    Platinum Member milly007's Avatar
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    You’re a class act, Knightman. You’ve inspired many.

    I think I speak for a lot of people here when I say that we hope to see you back here, if only to say hello and let us know how you’re doing.

  8. 12-04-2018, 10:16 PM

  9. 12-04-2018, 10:19 PM

  10. #547
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    My thoughts exactly, she claims the text messages are all business related but when I ask to look at them she tells me to hold on for a second and almost all of the messages have been deleted. I tried to grab a peek at her phone once when she went into the shower but she put a passcode on it.
    Thats some giant red flag stuff there...

  11. #548
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabican
    Thats some giant red flag stuff there...
    I presume you didn't read the entire thread.

    They are divorced now.

  12. #549
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    I appreciate the vote of confidence, I just think I've been pretty lucky so far.
    I don't really feel like I've handled things very well at all and I've made plenty of mistakes

    My wife managed to deceive me for 6 months
    I allowed my wife to flirt with her boss right in front of me
    I let my wife purchase an expensive watch for a man who doesn't need one
    I let her convince me that I was insecure and jealous
    I believed her lies
    I have to get tested for a disease and need therapy
    I almost let her convince me her affair was my fault
    I felt so helpless I had to turn to an anonymous internet forum for support
    I didn't even have the guts to tell her to come home until someone from this forum told me to grow a pair
    I never believed she would cheat on me but in my gut I knew she was
    I said nothing to her about the passcode on her phone
    I felt emasculated, cuckolded and worthless after reading those messages
    I have had trouble eating and sleeping and I still get those images of them in my head
    I can hardly stay focused
    I feel betrayed, lost, confused, hurt, humiliated, angry and sad
    I still love her after everything she's done
    I hate her after everything she's done
    I want to walk away from her and I can't let go of her
    I missed all the signals she says she tried to send me
    I should have seen the writing on the wall - all the red flags were there
    I had no idea what to do until the people on this forum advised me
    I pace the floor not knowing what the future holds
    Everything we have been working towards for the past 7 years is gone

    And a guy with money had my wife of 7 years in his bed within a week

    I don't feel like I have a good head - I feel like a laughing stock and a complete fool

    The good news is you're right, I have some great friends and amazing support from this board

    but remarkable? no, going to the right place at the right time and getting good advice from the right people...yes :)
    Wow crazy read... I havent been on this forum in ages.. came to post something for my cousin and saw this thread. For anyone in this situation... the way I look at these things is this all smells like BS. And once you recognize what BS smells like you know not to go back to it again. Learn from it, let it make you stronger, and next time you get a whiff of something that doesnt smell right you can put your foot down immediately and be like nah I aint doing this. You will be better for it in the end.

  13. #550
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I presume you didn't read the entire thread.

    They are divorced now.
    Yeah I posted a reply and then looked up and said whoa 55 pages lol. Crazy story..

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