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Thread: My Wife and Her New Boss

  1. #531

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    She's having an emotional affair, some people can justify it because nothing physical had happened, yet, so they flat out deny it's cheating. But it is, and it's not being honest.

    I get the impression that she loves you, but also craves something fresh in her life, but doesn't know how to have her cake and eat it too. Eventually she'll either come to her senses, or leave you. There's nothing you can do

  2. #532
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    ^ she was full on cheating and he's getting a divorce.

  3. #533
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lilymc123
    She's having an emotional affair, some people can justify it because nothing physical had happened, yet, so they flat out deny it's cheating. But it is, and it's not being honest.

    I get the impression that she loves you, but also craves something fresh in her life, but doesn't know how to have her cake and eat it too. Eventually she'll either come to her senses, or leave you. There's nothing you can do
    I guess you only read the first post.

    The wife admitted to a full on affair.

  4. #534
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    I have yet to read that part but if all of this is true your ex wife is pathologically narcissist or sociopathic or whatever. And about the forum when I read the part of her giving you a watch and all I really thought she was reading the forum posts because of the time you left your pc open and she seemed to be doing everything people on this forum told you she should do to win you back.

    But congratulations because you've dealt with this with integrity and self worth. You're a true example for all of us.
    Amen. Its been a while since I checked in on this thread but completely agree with the sentiments above.

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  6. #535
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    Well it's done, I'm officially divorced now. When it was finally over I felt the weight of the world lift off me but my heart felt heavy at the same time. I'm divorced, wow! That's going to take some getting use to. It feels weird just writing it, I feel like I'm wearing some kind of invisible label now. On a positive note, It went better than I thought, a few minor bumps along the way but nothing to get in a twist about. We kept to the deal we originally agreed to before we were married and as promised, the condo is all mine now. We spoke a little after it was over, we were both civil and polite, but it was awkward, it was like we went inside married and came out strangers.

    She did look much better and I'm pretty sure she'll be okay if she sticks with her therapy. I think in the end she just gave up because she knew I had finally had enough and nothing she did was going to change my mind. She'll always hold a special place in my heart but I had to move on, but at least I didn't give up until I gave her every chance I could. I could have forgiven the physical part, but it was the lies and going out of her way to humiliate me that I couldn't get past. It's going to take awhile to get over that. I'm learning that forgiveness comes in stages, each day I've been able to let go a little bit more.

    It took me awhile to figure out what all the fuss over this thread was about until I started reading a couple of other forums. I guess cases like mine are pretty rare but I still don't feel like anyone special. I just realized that although I made my share of mistakes, I never cheated on her, I was 100% loyal to her. I worked my butt off for us, I kept my end of the deal and I don't think it's too much to ask for a little loyalty in return, but she blew it, so I gave her what she wanted and that's all there really is to it.

    I want to thank everyone again for the support, the advice, the PM's and all the encouragement.
    I would of never made it this far without this place, I'm eternally grateful to all of you.

    I'm not sure what the future holds but I guess all I can do now is move forward.
    My buddy and a few close friends are planning something big for me this weekend, so I better get some rest while I still can
    Last edited by KnightMan; 10-25-2018 at 10:51 PM.

  7. #536
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Onward and upward!

  8. #537
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Knight,

    Your story is surprisingly not that uncommon around here. They all pretty much end up the same way sooner or later. The difference is how you get to where you are now. Some fight and struggle, ignore advice, ignore reality, ignore that gut feeling we have all had and then there are others like you that reached out for help pretty early on and listened to advice. In the end you are the reason you came out in the condition you are now because you accepted the reality.

    You may have slipped a few times and made a few mistakes but for the most part you did extremely well and should proud of the way you handled this whole ordeal.

    The feelings you had when the papers were signed is very common. No matter how bitter or contested there is always some grieving and mourning the death of something that started with so much love and hope.

    You are not the man you were when this started, you are much more than that now and my best advice for you is to not take your foot off the gas and keep growing and learning. It is a different life for sure and 10 years after mine ended I am pretty darn happy and content and I am confident you will be too.

    I would ask on favor. Take what you have learned and pay it forward as much as you can on here and in life. You would be surprised how many guys you will run into in life walking a similar path you just walked.

    I have a smile on my face as I type this knowing you are doing so well.

    Best wishes always
    Lost

  9. #538
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    I think what is uncommon about your story is that her parents were in agreement/in understanding of you - they knew you were not the enemy and they showed loving care, while you treated them with dignity as well. you parted on good terms with them, even if you never see them/hear from them again. And even though it was tough, you stood by your boundaries. The cheating story is as old as the hills. there is nothing new about that part of it.

    When it was finally over I felt the weight of the world lift off me but my heart felt heavy at the same time.

    That's how i felt. My marriage was abusive to the point that it was best that i didn't appear in court with him. But i still felt this way - i felt free and at the same time I felt a loss.
    That was the biggest thing that my relatives did not understand and were frustrated with me that i wasn't opening a bottle of champagne.

  10. #539
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    this was an incredible read. Thank you for sharing. Literally read this from page 1 to page 55. You are an inspiration to men (and women) everywhere.

  11. #540
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    I've also read the whole thread and I admire you so much! You're really an inspiration for the way you handled everything and I wish you the best on your healing path! You've already done most of the heavy lifting. Good luck!


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