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Thread: My Wife and Her New Boss

  1. #521
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    "...hates the OM"
    - Also very normal and to be expected, but many times a surprise to their victims.
    Last edited by Lester; 09-20-2018 at 07:49 PM.

  2. #522
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    I told her I had to leave, we both got up and I hugged her, she squeezed me so tight I thought she would cut off my blood circulation, she wanted to know if I ever think about her, I messed up and told her yes and she hugged me again and this time she wouldn't let go. She asked me to please don't hate her, told her I could never hate her, but that I really had to leave.
    you didn't mess up, not at all. what else would you have told her? "no"? c'mon, it's not like these things can be switched off in an instant, you know that. you'll be vulnerable from time to time, but time does heal, it'll just take a lot of it (time). it appears she's still been selfish and thinking about herself. i.e., "don't hate ME." light's on her now. will she have enough introspection to really dig in, find out what went wrong, and repent? time will also tell. good thing is, you don't have to worry about that now. go have some fun and start enjoying life again.

  3. #523
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Look at this as part of the process of the end of a marriage and healing. It happens, but it doesn't change the facts nor should it make you look at her differently.

    She caused massive destruction, even with her suffering, she still did what she did. That is her cross to bear, not yours.

    All you should be doing is concentrating on moving forward, healing and not letting your journey be interrupted by her.

    You're doing this for YOUR sake and YOUR well being. She has to find her own way, like you do.

    I hope your road trip goes well. :) Clear your mind, regroup.

  4. #524
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    ....it's almost funny how it just never stops being about them.........their feelings, what they want, how they feel......

    She may have looked pitiful and that pulled on your heartstrings precisely because you are decent human being, but listen to her words - me, me, me. It was all about her. Even when she asked about you, it was still just asking about herself. Your buddy is right. Stay focused and don't let her crocodile tears get to you.

    Have fun on your road trip!

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  6. #525
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    ....it's almost funny how it just never stops being about them.........their feelings, what they want, how they feel......
    To be fair, she complimented him and apologized, and wished his friend a happy birthday. Yes, her tears were about her feelings, and her wish not to be hated is about her, but not unusual in any breakup.

    KnightMan, hang in there, surprise encounters will happen, but they won't all involve hugs and emotionally slogs. Eventually there may be simple hellos, or simply letting each go their own way. It is a process. As is self-forgiveness. You're not the same person you were then, and have learned from it. I hope you've had a great road trip!

  7. #526
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lester
    "...hates the OM"
    - Also very normal and to be expected, but many times a surprise to their victims.
    What's the OM?

  8. #527
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    What's the OM?
    I'm guessing: OM = "other man" ?

  9. #528
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    I'm guessing: OM = "other man" ?

    Right. I haven't read everything yet but came to the end and saw OM and was wondering what it meant and didn't understand why the OM was contacting him but it makes perfect sense haha

  10. #529
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    I'm not shocked at all, you don't know my wife, she's a great actress and a master manipulator. She managed to flirt with her boss right in front of me and convince me that I was the one with the problem, after her stay in the hospital she had all of us convinced she had turned her life around, she led me to believe her and that POS were not seeing each other anymore, she lied to me about him giving the watch back to her, she even had me paranoid and convinced she knew about this forum. Convincing a couple of deputies that I had just recently thrown her out and refused to let her get her stuff was child's play to her. Nothing she does surprises me anymore. When they wrote "Hell hath no fury..." They were probably inspired by my wife.
    I have yet to read that part but if all of this is true your ex wife is pathologically narcissist or sociopathic or whatever. And about the forum when I read the part of her giving you a watch and all I really thought she was reading the forum posts because of the time you left your pc open and she seemed to be doing everything people on this forum told you she should do to win you back.

    But congratulations because you've dealt with this with integrity and self worth. You're a true example for all of us.

  11. #530
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Knight,

    I hope your road trip is going well and you are enjoying yourself.

    Throughout all this you have taken the high road and you did the same in BK that day. You were able to go home and not regret anything. No harsh words, no "I told you so" or anything. This is your character and continued love for her. I would caution you about the love you feel. Like me you love the person you once knew, not the person she is now. The woman I fell in love with died when she chose to cheat and then blame me for the whole thing to anyone who would listen. She simply is not the person I was in love with and like you I was in love with a memory, not reality. Be careful to remember that.

    She got her chance to apologize and you were very gracious so leave it at that. Hopefully this will be the end of it but more than likely there will be more but you will handle it just as well as you did waiting on your order.

    Take all these experiences to heart and let them grow your soul.

    Lost

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