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Thread: My Wife and Her New Boss

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    My thoughts exactly, she claims the text messages are all business related but when I ask to look at them she tells me to hold on for a second and almost all of the messages have been deleted. I tried to grab a peek at her phone once when she went into the shower but she put a passcode on it.
    Sadly all points to an affair. But proof is needed.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    My thoughts exactly, she claims the text messages are all business related but when I ask to look at them she tells me to hold on for a second and almost all of the messages have been deleted. I tried to grab a peek at her phone once when she went into the shower but she put a passcode on it.
    There's no need to delete anything if it's all business related. Locking the phone is a bad sign, if it wasn't ever locked before.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Sorry but so many red flags. Defiant with you. Turning this around on you and gaslighting you, as in you are insecure, you are controlling, etc, etc, etc. Guarding her phone and constantly on it - HUGE red flag. Changed behavior, changed personality. Sex life with you dead. Picking fights with you. Buying her boss an expensive watch - who does that? I mean these are all classic signs of cheating.

    Bottom line OP is that no cheater will ever admit to cheating. Whether she is having an emotional affair or whether this has reached into the physical territory as well, impossible to tell. Certainly there are plenty of opportunities. Do you have access to the phone records? Check just how much they talk. If you can get into her phone, do it. Check credit card statements. Normally I'm against snooping, but you have serious cause to do so. If you need more proof before you make a decision or can live in peace that nothing is happening, hire a PI.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    Thanks I really needed to hear that, at first I really thought she might be attracted to him because he was a better man than me, but I honestly don't think that's the case at all, he's not a better man than me, he just has more money.
    The glitter and gold gets old pretty fast. Believe me. Who a person is and how they treat you(physically and emotionally, not with material things) matters so much more .

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by ControlDenied
    If she thinks you are insecure is all that matters.!! Act cool as a cucumber and factually... tell her you will have time to catch up with your girlfriends while she is out (jokingly)

    The friendly coworker, is the number 1 candidate for an affair! Google it.

    Military style operation... track her location, her messages, her facebook, record her, etc. Use your imagination. Hire a detective... get a friend to spy on her... get a cheap independent person to spy on her. You need to protect your marriage. Play defense and offense.
    Googled friendly coworker (unbelieveable) all the classic signs are there, God how could be so blind.
    I have a buddy of mine who does that kind of work for a living, he's a PI, wow, spying on my wife?
    Can you explain to me what I would gain from spying on her? I'm really a newbie to all this, wouldn't that be an admission of insecurity?

  7. #16
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    Use your buddy! Catch her and confront her with evidence. Play it cool until then.
    If your suspicions are confirmed, she can't deny anything. You need the proof.
    As a PI, he can access all emails, call records, texts.
    Then decide if you both want to save the marriage.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    I have a buddy of mine who does that kind of work for a living, he's a PI, wow, spying on my wife?
    Can you explain to me what I would gain from spying on her? I'm really a newbie to all this, wouldn't that be an admission of insecurity?
    You gain certainty. Unless you have bulletproof evidence. She will deny, deflect, and call you names and blame you.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Sorry but so many red flags. Defiant with you. Turning this around on you and gaslighting you, as in you are insecure, you are controlling, etc, etc, etc. Guarding her phone and constantly on it - HUGE red flag. Changed behavior, changed personality. Sex life with you dead. Picking fights with you. Buying her boss an expensive watch - who does that? I mean these are all classic signs of cheating.

    Bottom line OP is that no cheater will ever admit to cheating. Whether she is having an emotional affair or whether this has reached into the physical territory as well, impossible to tell. Certainly there are plenty of opportunities. Do you have access to the phone records? Check just how much they talk. If you can get into her phone, do it. Check credit card statements. Normally I'm against snooping, but you have serious cause to do so. If you need more proof before you make a decision or can live in peace that nothing is happening, hire a PI.
    I can get access to the phone records because I am the primary account holder.
    She swears up and down that nothing is going on, but I'm thinking an emotional affair at least.

    One time a group of us all went out to eat and he sat across from us.
    He asked her how her fish tasted and she said "Yummy, you want some?"
    And instead of sliding her plate over and letting him take a portion of her fish,
    she starts spoon feeding him at least 3 times right in front of me
    We had one of our worst arguments ever that night, she thought I blew the whole thing out of proportion.

    Another time he invited everyone over to his big fancy house for a party
    I arrived late and when I went around back I see her boss chasing her around the pool
    Then he grabs her by the waist and throws her in fully clothed.
    We had another big argument that night, she claimed they had all been drinking and just having a bit of fun
    She made me feel like a jealous jerk that night.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by KnightMan
    wouldn't that be an admission of insecurity?
    Is evidence of realism. You need to deal with reality head on.

    You are not showing insecurity, you are showing determination on taking you marriage seriously. That is the opposite of insecurity. You are showing you have the guts to go “all in” to protect your family.

  11. #20
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    There is another dimension to this. If he her boss, he is in a position of power and he stand to get fired if you do this right. You can get him out of your life really quick! But that is stage 2, now you need to know for sure.

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