When to walk away

Where to even begin...

I got married just over a year ago. Prior to the marriage there were some red flags that I probably shouldn't have let go (Craigslist visits, a lot of porn watching) but never the actual act of cheating so I thought maybe it was harmless and he would grow out of it.

Not even a year into our marriage I discovered that he had cheated on me. But not with just anyone, with an escort. He wanted to cheat so bad he was willing to pay for it. When confronted, he brought up a lot of child hood trauma and immediately seeked counseling and swore up and down he would change. Me being the empathetic person that I am, gave him another chance.

It is 5 months later and I have now discovered he is paying for webcam sex. He is now claiming he thinks he has a sex addiction and wants to go back to counseling for this.

I feel like I have given him enough chances to change. Walking away should be easy, but I am walking away from someone I have considered a best friend for the last decade. Am I over reacting thinking the webcam incidence is bad enough to end it after what I have already forgiven for?

Well, I would ask how often do you two have sex? I would think that the more sex he has with you, the less time and energy he would have to do these other things.

This isn't about how much sex happens in the marriage or keeping him preoccupied so he doesn't wander off and stick his penis in another woman.

He made vows and broke them almost immediately. He is full of excuses and lies that seem to be his way of life. He cannot be trusted and IF he does have these issues why didn't he seek counseling before he was caught?

If I was newly married and found myself seeking out a prostitute because I couldn't help myself I would seek help right away BEFORE I did anything to ruin my marriage. He only sought help AFTER you caught him. His reasons and excuses are not genuine, just the lies of a cheater.

Don't walk away, run as fast as you can. Then get a blood test to make sure he hasn't infected you with any STD's.

Does it matter you have known him for a decade? No, he is still a lying cheater and it shows how little you really knew him anyways. You don't need someone like that in your life.

Lost

I wouldn't recommend taking any big decisions solely on the based of suggestions given on the internet by reading a 4-5 line paragraph.

I highly doubt things may not work out for you and I feel sorry for that. How does he treat you normally in routine days? Any other factors that may lead him to lose interest in you? Also, do a little bit of research and reads on sex addiction with an open mind, You may find something useful to differentiate between lies.

I don't know why couple resist to communicate but having an honest and open discussion about feelings and issues can solve many conflicts before it becomes a major problem.

Well the pertinent aspect to escorts and webcam is that there is no emotional connection or emotional investment, and that is what he has been compelled to pursue. I'm sorry, but I think you will find that he has a lot of issues with genuine intimacy in committed relationships. He probably does have a sex addiction and problems related to his upbringing, but the question you need to ask yourself is whether you want to wait around or not with no guarantee that you will have the type of relationship with him that you want.

Sorry to hear this. Save yourself a lifetime of heartache, headaches, financial and emotional ruin and STDs. Get An Annulment. Make an appt. with an attorney today to discuss that or divorce. Move out asap and stay with friends/family until you get a place so you can reflect in a sane environment and not continue living in denial that he's a victim of this, that and the other or has an "illness". He's not your 'best friend', he lies to you and cheats on you.

Prior to the marriage Craigslist visits, a lot of porn watching

I discovered that he had cheated on me. But not with just anyone, with an escort.

5 months later and I have now discovered he is paying for webcam sex.