Ex blocked me off without warning

I posted on here previously because I was not sure the girl I was with was right for me, and I had started the relationship when I was going through a really tough time so it was not good timing. She ended up breaking up with me and I accepted that and apologised for my indecision. We agreed to be friends. Soon after she was having a lot of problems and stress at work and she phoned me alot during this time, and I helped her out alot. She was very grateful. Soon after she starting calling and messaging a lot and it was clear she wanted to be more then friends. As I am still having a very tough time due to external stressors I could not go though another break up and so was not looking to restart the relationship. She messaged me asking to go on holiday together, and I confronted her saying if she thought we were still friends. She then angrily said yes and reiterated it was her that broke up with me. She blocked me off social media the next day.

I feel very hurt by her actions, as I was honest with her throughout and she has decided to block me off without saying anything. It was her that broke up with me intitially too. Although I am not looking to get back together with her it still hurts a lot that she was so angry with me that she blocked me off. I have messaged a couple of times over a month but have had no reply.

I want to move on, but the not knowning why she blocked me is really hurting me. We are likely to cross paths a couple of times a year so I am not sure how to react when I see her.

Does anyone have any experience of getting blocked and if so how did they get over it?

She most likely blocked you because she had feelings that weren’t reciprocated and wanted to move on.

You can’t be friends when someone has feelings. It’s also hard to get over someone when you’re chatting with them or seeing updates about their lives.

I don’t think her blocking you was a malicious move, just her taking care of herself.

The truth is it’s really hard to be friends with exes, sometimes you have to just cut them out.

She blocked you because she was hurt by the fact that her romantic feelings for you were one-sided. She probably realised that contact with an ex when there were still residual romantic feelings on her part was toxic because it kept fuelling false hope and kept her emotionally stuck. She tried to be friends but it turned out to be too painful for her so she blocked the source of her pain i.e.you. No need to take it personally. Surely, you can imagine how painful it would feel to be in her shoes...

Youre being pretty selfish man...

I mean come on, do you really think being your crutch while you recover from your breakup is a fun place to be?

She was probably miserable.

Leave her alone, let her heal, work on healing on your own. Don't use people.

I'm not sure why you're surprised. You don't want to be in a relationship with her (which is fine, your choice), but you can't expect her to be just your friend while you figure out what's going on. I usually block my exes the second we break up.

I would have accepted 'I was being selfish' if I was continuing to lead her on. However I wasn't. It was her that broke up with me. I would have been fine if she told me she found it too difficult and told me that she would rather not speak. She was quite selfish in many ways during our relationship, saying she said its supposed to be 'the boy chasing the girl' and complained when I sometimes asked to split the bill as her friends boyfriends pay for everything. She didn't try to help me once, and when she broke up with me she didn't be a vague text message rather then say in person. I never complained once and was mature with her about everything, which is why it seemed intiially she wanted to stay in contact.

The problem I have is she knew how much of a hard time I was having due to other factors, some really terrible stuff has happened to me. I helped her out a lot with her problems after we broke up and she was really appreciative, I really didn't have too but wanted to as I still cared for her. To then block me off, even after it was her breaking up with me, is unfair as she knows it will hurt me. As I said if she had told me it was too difficult to be friends I would have understood. And if she wanted to get back together with me why didn't she just say something?

Unfortunately you kept actively pushing her away, so now you have what you wanted. Leave her alone. She doesn't want to be your friend.

I was not sure the girl I was with was right for me

She ended up breaking up with me

I could not go though another break up and so was not looking to restart the relationship.

I confronted her saying if she thought we were still friends.

She blocked me off social media the next day.

You are right. I am just after some closure because she didn't say anything and that does hurt. Especially since she broke up with me. We did not argue when that happened, she just didn't reply to one of my messages and then the next day broke up with me. She asked to be friends, I told her I could not start a relationship at this time and she accepted that. She continued to message me and as I said I helped her a lot afterwards so I am not sure what else I could have done.

Also to clarify, I did not actively ask to be her friend when she broke up with me. She asked for that and continued to contact me.

You didn't want a relationship. She did. You two stayed friends. It didn't work, she walked away. She wasn't a life long friend, she wasn't even a good friend by the way it sounds so I'm sorry, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend you need support because you lost your ego boost.

She walked away from a dude who was going to string her along use her as a crutch while he healed from a previous breakup. That's my guess if you would have eventually started a relationship once you healed. Well heal, fully, and then go get your girl.

Sounds like a bunch of childish game playing to me though so I doubt that'll be the solution.

Don't use people. Not everyone's going to stand for it. I get it wasn't malicious, but not accepting that she has to guard her heart too is starting to be, your ego is bruised it sounds, lick your wounds and move forward. You'll get over it pretty darn quick concidering you didn't even want to be with her.

You seem to have either misread my post or assumed a lot of stuff.. We were together, I had a lot of external stressors, stuff that most people don't have to deal with. She was not willing to compromise during the relationship, she said it should be me travelling to see her instead of taking it in turns even though I was exhausted all the time. As I said she was desperate for the 'boy chasing the girl' thing that she and that was more important then my wellbeing. I couldn't travel every time anymore due to being tired all the time and stressed and she didn't accept that and broke up with me, not the other way around. I accepted that, apologised and told her its best if I don't start anything. She suggested to be friends, not me .

You say 'don't use people', however the reason I am hurt is because I was the one that was used. She was struggling with issues at work and kept calling me. I helped her a lot. I did not ask her to call me or message her without her messaging me, so the only other thing I could do would be to blank her. I actually don't understand why you say I used her, as I explained clearly I confronted her about the constant messaging because I didn't want to lead her on.

Actually you have definately read my post wrong. I haven't had a previous break up to heal from and can't see where you got that from, as it is not mentioned in my post? Please re-read my post. I was trying to heal from her breaking up with me, and it was her that was constantly calling and messaging me. I did not string her along or use her as a 'crutch.' The reason I was not going to try and start the relationship with her again was because she was not willing to compromise and make the relationship equal and if I was having all these external stressors it would have ended the same way.

I am happy to take criticisim but please read my post properly before hand. I am hurt because it seems such a hostile way to end things and was asking for advice what people did when they have been blocked. I wanted to know if I should contact her to talk through what happened and end things nicely, which I thought would have been nicer for both of us. I still did care about her even though it did not work out. If I am wrong to think this, and it seems that is the case, then fine. I just asked for advice.

But just because you were willing to allow her to use you doesn't mean she is willing to do the same. In fact, judging from what you wrote, I wouldn't expect her to allow you to lean on her the way you allowed her to lean on you. It seems in character for her. And you could have told her "no" when she attempted to use you for support after she dumped you. But I guess you were hoping that if you were "there for her", she'd want you back...true?

Your "closure" is the blocking. That means it's done. An ex doesn't "give" you closure; you decide that on your own.

 

Actually you have definately read my post wrong. I haven't had a previous break up to heal from and can't see where you got that from, as it is not mentioned in my post? Please re-read my post. I was trying to heal from her breaking up with me, and it was her that was constantly calling and messaging me. I did not string her along or use her as a 'crutch.' The reason I was not going to try and start the relationship with her again was because she was not willing to compromise and make the relationship equal and if I was having all these external stressors it would have ended the same way.

 

I am happy to take criticisim but please read my post properly before hand. I am hurt because it seems such a hostile way to end things and was asking for advice what people did when they have been blocked. I wanted to know if I should contact her to talk through what happened and end things nicely, which I thought would have been nicer for both of us. I still did care about her even though it did not work out. If I am wrong to think this, and it seems that is the case, then fine. I just asked for advice.

You got me. The way it was worded I did falsely conclude this was a rebound. I apologize. From reading your previous post it seems this was your relcutance about her because of religious differences.

Not much changes in the fact that you should just walk away and let it go though.

You thought you had he upperhand. You though she would stick around while you decided if the relationship was going to work for you and she didn't. You were indecisive, she wasn't a very good girlfriend.

I don't understand what the issue is beyond a bruised ego.

I apologize for misunderstanding, I really do, but you are still playing victim about something you didn't even want to begin with. Bruised ego, if you were the one to dump her, which seems to be where you were headed would you be posting here? She pulled the plug first, the plug was gonna be pulled no matter what right? It was a bad match and by you adding to your story in defense it further proves she was a bad match for you.

Thanks for the reply and clarifying that. And apologies I did not word it clearer. Admittedly I didn't handle parts of the situation well, and sometimes you need other people to point out the obvious to you, as I agree I should not have replied when she needed help as this was leading her on.

But I would like to reiterate it is nothing to do with a 'bruised ego', I accepted her leaving me and just wanted to heal from that experience and focus on sorting out my own problems, but she continued to be in contact with me. I posted on here to get advice about what to do when you are blocked, as I felt hurt that after helping her, and the fact she knew I was having a terrible time, she chose to end things in such a hostile way, and I am also sad I made her upset enough to completely block me off without warning. I wanted to know if its best to contact in a month or so we both had closure about what happened, but from what everyone is saying that is not the right thing to do and I should just leave it. I am thankful for the replies and advice.

And your criticisms have been fair, It was just that I did tell her after she broke up with me that It was obvious I was not in the right place to start anything, and I did bring up the issues from my previous post. But the main error was continuing to respond to her messages and that was in fact leading her on. My indecision was also not very nice at all, even if I was struggling. Thanks for making this clearer.

I posted on here to get advice about what to do when you are blocked, as I felt hurt that after helping her, and the fact she knew I was having a terrible time, she chose to end things in such a hostile way, and I am also sad I made her upset enough to completely block me off without warning. I wanted to know if its best to contact in a month or so we both had closure about what happened, but from what everyone is saying that is not the right thing to do and I should just leave it. I am thankful for the replies and advice.

Sometimes it takes a hostile and sudden ending to move past a relationship. Otherwise there is continued contact during the post-breakup friendship phase and one person ends up hurt.

Thanks for the reply and clarifying that. And apologies I did not word it clearer. Admittedly I didn't handle parts of the situation well, and sometimes you need other people to point out the obvious to you, as I agree I should not have replied when she needed help as this was leading her on.

 

But I would like to reiterate it is nothing to do with a 'bruised ego', I accepted her leaving me and just wanted to heal from that experience and focus on sorting out my own problems, but she continued to be in contact with me. I posted on here to get advice about what to do when you are blocked, as I felt hurt that after helping her, and the fact she knew I was having a terrible time, she chose to end things in such a hostile way, and I am also sad I made her upset enough to completely block me off without warning. I wanted to know if its best to contact in a month or so we both had closure about what happened, but from what everyone is saying that is not the right thing to do and I should just leave it. I am thankful for the replies and advice.

It's probably not going to be a good idea. If she ignores you, you'll just be opening up the wound and will have to heal all over again.

Just try to heal yourself and if she comes back around decide whether or not you want to talk.

Yes, I won't contact her. From the replies I realise I am being selfish and should accept she won't give me a reason for her actions. it seems quite obvious now and I am a bit embarrassed for complaining. Many thanks for the advice.

Having read some of your replies I just want to point out that you two sound incompatible. She wanted an man who would take the initiative, take care of all her needs and pursue her while it sounds while you wanted a more equal relationship. You are not right for each other. Breaking up with you via text then and blocking you indicates imo that she is not a person who can ever give you closure in terms of words as she is more focused on having the upper hand rather than communicating in a mature way. Based on the style of communication that you described, I don't think she could ever communicate the way you would wish her to. I agree about the advice you were given not to contact her. She is unable to give you kind of closure you need. On a final note, you need to take a step back and reflect your role in how things played out. Imo, you need to develop stronger boundaries so as not to get walked over by selfish people. Being a pushover creates more problems than it ever solves and it is not the same as a healthy compromise. Staying on in any kind of relationships with selfish people allowing them to walk over you is not healthy and it is your responsibility to state your boundaries and protect them. Good luck with your healing.

So sorry for all of this OP. I read your other thread and see you have so much on your plate to deal with, especially the stressful job and long hours that I can understand how difficult it is for you to feel that you had made the decision you really wanted.

I think her reason for blocking you is that she is hurt and doing what it takes for her to move on, and as silly as it sounds, it's not actually anything personal about you. I think she's disappointed and probably embarrassed, and she can't talk to you for at least a while.

I confronted her saying if she thought we were still friends. She then angrily said yes and reiterated it was her that broke up with me. She blocked me off social media the next day.

The word 'confront' is pretty strong, and you're clear that she was angry with you. So why would it surprise you that she blocked you?

When one person has romantic feelings about another, that's not 'friendship,' because it's not equal. You noticed the problem and raised it, which doesn't fix the problem--as you've noticed. Instead of being hurt, I'd consider this a lesson in the difference between a friendship and a romance: friends can become lovers, but the chances of trying to morph lovers into a friendship is slim to none. Slim only works when there's a shared stake in larger outcomes, such as raising shared children or operating in a shared workplace. Even then, it's not usually a friendship, it's civility out of necessity.

I'd skip playing friendzies with anyone who has an ulterior motive. It's doesn't 'work'.

Head high, and move your focus onto people who CAN be your friend.

I was calm when I 'confronted' her, maybe I used the wrong word. I was more looking to end things nicely and on good terms rather then be friends as such, and I was hurt she was angry enough to block me without saying anything, and having had no arguement. It doesn't feel good to know you have upset someone that much. I was looking more for advice about how to deal with that and wether to message but from the advice on here I will not do that. I guess there is no way to end thing 'nicely'.

I was calm when I 'confronted' her, maybe I used the wrong word. I was more looking to end things nicely and on good terms rather then be friends as such, and I was hurt she was angry enough to block me without saying anything, and having had no arguement. It doesn't feel good to know you have upset someone that much. I was looking more for advice about how to deal with that and wether to message but from the advice on here I will not do that. I guess there is no way to end thing 'nicely'.

A clean break is the best way to end things, not dragging things out trying to play friendzies. That sends the message that the other can manipulate you if she tries hard enough. I'd quit while you're properly disconnected and be confident that you've learned something valuable for moving forward.

Perhaps she doesn't want to be friends. She doesn't need your permission to block you, she may just want to move on and have some peace without ongoing talking. Blocking doesn't indicate anger, it indicates that it's over and contact is unwanted. Don't try to be friends with every ex.

I was hurt she was angry enough to block me without saying anything, and having had no arguement.

My original opinion of a clean break was to have a chat of why it didn't work out and apologise for anything she was upset with me for. As I said I wasn't looking to be friends, rather to end stuff nicely. But your explanations have made a lot of sense, and it probably is a clean break up if we had no arguement and we now don't talk. I also have realised my part in what happened and how that made her angry, making her actions more understandable.

I really do feel better and able to move on. I am very grateful for the advice and explanations.