Severe undermining and favouritism at work

Dear all, just posting because myself and other team members cannot believe what is going on in our workplace, it is beyond crazy

There is one female colleague in our male dominated workplace who is a very manipulative self promoter, crafty, gets people into trouble, bullies people lower in rank than her and sucks up and acts sweetness and light to seniors, she wears revealing clothes also to manipulate and on the whole is a nasty piece of work

The whole team have wondered how she has managed to stay in the company for so long...she does no work, makes errors and is also granted flexi time and nobody else is to do a school run...she is nowhere to be seen when we work remotely etc, she just disappears, she is logged out and not online and nobody does anything because one boss slacks and the other one is, I think, having an affair with her, he lets her off everything

Anyhow it turned out I was the first person to expose her and then other people began to speak up as well - she tried to get a friend of mine into trouble who was frustrated at her never picking up the phone and say that his behaviour was stressing her out, simply because he needed to call to get his work done - she was also retaliating because he voiced his concerns to senior management

She now has a vendetta against me - and is trying to severely undermine me a) because I exposed her b) because she was demoted from a post we both worked in together and another colleague promoted into her position

I am waiting for my permanent contract and at the moment in a vulnerable position as a contractor yet today I felt I had to stand up for myself and I did and I guess I'm posting because I'm anxious about it - but I know if I don't stand up for myself I will be mincemeat

To cut a long story short...she keeps on trying to interfere in her old work and isn't letting go of the old work we used to do, though she should be in another role, she keeps still trying to do things that I should do to undermine me and make me look incapable

She is regularly trying to do pieces of work that are mine and she does not want to do her new role because she cannot engage with senior management in it

In addition to this, she threw a tantrum and is now being granted special projects and tasks that are to do with my current role - hence I am doing the role but I am kept more in the dark than she is about things to do with my role! And on top of this, she is being given so many special projects that her new colleague is suffering in the role she has been given now as she is not doing the work she should be doing so he is exhausted doing it all

There was an incident this morning - she contacted me ordering me to answer some questions for a special project she had been assigned and wanted to do some of my work for me, it would have made me look incompetent to others and misleadingly it would have looked like she was still in the role

I knew nothing about these questions and why I should answer them, it is something vital to my role yet nobody told me

I emailed back and copied in my boss and said that if this was a weekly thing, then I could do it and that would give her more time to focus upon her new role

She immediately emails back copying another manager and senior management saying she has been assigned this special task - I did not let myself be intimidated and emailed them all back saying I knew nothing about this until today and ok, if she has been assigned this task she can do it as requested the next week ( if she was assigned it, why was she ordering me to answer questions? ) - she is the same rank as me at work, in fact officially she is one grade lower

She then sent another email saying that she was being held up by me not getting the information, copying in more senior managers - and I responded that the info would be forthcoming but as discussed I had only been told about it today

I am fantasising about walking out though I will not - I hope these emails alarmed senior management actually - the whole team is demoralised at this person who is given all of the plum projects and engages regularly with senior management though we are all on her level

Luckily I have the support of another permanent colleague who will back me up next week to see the boss

The favouritism is baffling and terrible - at Christmas a senior manager gave her a gift for her children for one thing and I pitied the new man who is working alongside her now, he was slaving away, there is a mountain of work undone in her box and he has been unable to take lunch and in the middle of it, the senior manager comes along praising her for a piece of work, a project and calling her a " star " in front of everybody

Her performance is incredibly bad and management have been alerted to this but they take no notice - even last year a man got into trouble, her manager as he had to micro-manage her and she then accused him of picking on her

My Boss is actually sympathetic and OK but another manager is obviously protecting her and he is after the Boss's job, it has all got so bad that even my Boss didn't join us for our team lunch and now more and more people are waking up to what is going on here, which I guess is a good thing

I will try and just lie low now - but I've had just about enough, I think if they tried to get rid of me for this, I would raise a grievance and take them to the cleaners

I have received compliments, saved the company money and turned the department around and yet it is not even being acknowledged, I also have good relationships with my coworkers as well and I feel so demoralised right now

Would welcome any advice, please...thank you XXX DLD

have you looked into getting a job somewhere else? It sounds like the management likes her for whatever reason, so maybe you might be better off quietly applying for new jobs with more of a stable system going on.

Thanks for replying annie24 X

Yes, maybe this is my push to do something I really want to do and get out - for the time being though I also do really like my colleagues and I love the work I do there, prior to this campaign she seems to have against me I was more confident in my abilities and I felt good about myself and I can feel this knocking my self esteem and demoralising me - because she is manipulative I guess a part of me wants to stick it out and not let her win or drive me out - I am actually more competent and well liked by other stakeholders and people in the company than she is - it is only within this department that for some reason she is getting preferential treatment

People in other departments sympathise with me and I also have a very powerful ally very high up who has complimented me and has complained about this person - he recognises the corruption going on, I used to be friends with these bosses as well but now they are all terrified of upsetting her - maybe because they have not been doing their jobs or managing any issues within the team and she is now threatening to reveal it all

The funny thing is, I've seen senior management get annoyed at her before for acting way above her station and put her in her place - but now it is more over the top than ever, this trying to be nice and placate her, I think possibly they are planning to get rid of her from the company and because she always kicks up a fuss about everything and complains, they are doing their utmost not to be accused of favouring anybody in the company or there being a case for her, for constructive dismissal

It has also become clear recently that she is having an affair with one of the managers and everyone has cottoned on after they have given themselves away, this manager advocated to keep her in the company and through his powers gave her the best jobs, meanwhile giving me more menial tasks to do - this has only just come to light

I'll see what happens next week, just grateful I am holding on and I haven't let myself feel too small or powerless or obliterated by this - there are times you have to defend yourself or you will be lost and in a terrible position, it has happened to me in previous jobs - I was a high performer and people tried to sabotage my work, before I knew it I was on the floor and then I could no longer perform and everything would go downhill for me in the company because I gave my power away and let another person totally erode my confidence - I Know I cannot do that anymore

I am NOT going to feel bad about this, talking myself out of that - as she was the one who got senior management involved in all of this, it wasn't me who involved them so I am not going to worry about this

Thanks :-) here's hoping things get better! XXX

Anyhow it turned out I was the first person to expose her

What does this mean?

" This " means, that my friend, a manager from another department, told my manager what was happening, that she was not delivering, being obstructive and was not picking up the phone

She then retaliated to make a complaint against him saying he was being difficult and I went to defend him to the manager as it was unjust and said he was fine and frustrated because she was not delivering

" This " means, that my friend, a manager from another department, told my manager what was happening, that she was not delivering, being obstructive and was not picking up the phone

She then retaliated to make a complaint against him saying he was being difficult and I went to defend him to the manager as it was unjust and said he was fine and frustrated because she was not delivering

Okay, you've done your part. I'd trust that she's frustrating enough people to hang herself, and I'd check out of my investment in outcomes.

During the rare times I've encountered a lousy coworker, I just keep my eyes on my own paper, I stay focused on delivering my best rather than resisting that person, I avoid sinking to defending myself against perceived slights, I trust that this person's pettiness is obvious to all concerned, and I allow person to reveal [his or her] true colors to others without any input from me--beyond my cooperation.

Under my breath I say to myself, "I'll outlast [him or her]..." and sure enough, I'm a psychic.

Don't sweat the small stuff. It can only make you appear equal in hostility to this wizbang, while taking the high road and avoiding conflict demo's your professionalism.

Head high.

Thank you Catfeeder, you are so kind, I appreciate your reply and I know just what you mean...some days I think I am obsessed with this person, I'm letting what she does affect my day and I do indeed want to just take the high ground, be professional and do my job well and avoid conflict

Yeah I've done my part I guess, I could not look at her emails anymore or not focus upon her at all, I've developed this habit of watching what she does to see if she'll hang herself with the rope and it's detrimental and even colleagues are telling me to let it go now so I will, I think I have a horribly obsessive personality and want to stop this

Ta, Catfeeder, thank you! XX

Thank you Catfeeder, you are so kind, I appreciate your reply and I know just what you mean...some days I think I am obsessed with this person, I'm letting what she does affect my day and I do indeed want to just take the high ground, be professional and do my job well and avoid conflict

Yeah I've done my part I guess, I could not look at her emails anymore or not focus upon her at all, I've developed this habit of watching what she does to see if she'll hang herself with the rope and it's detrimental and even colleagues are telling me to let it go now so I will, I think I have a horribly obsessive personality and want to stop this

Ta, Catfeeder, thank you! XX

Consider this to be your private training in dealing with people on the job who you don't like. This will not be an isolated incident--you'll come across other people who will rub you the wrong way. You'll need to decide how fragile or resilient YOU want to be, and if you choose to develop the skill of resilience, you'll need to adopt practices that minimize your annoyance. That's on you, not the people you'll find offensive.

It's up to each of us to manage our own focus and to reach for our best professionalism in the face of disturbances. Life is not fair, most workplaces aren't fair to one degree or another, so it's on us to learn how to roll with that and remain unaffected.

If your coworkers are telling you to let go, then you know you've reached too far down into the pettiness barrel. This can undermine the confidence that both peers and managers would otherwise place in your judgment.

I'd get over this very quickly, and I'd put my best foot forward in terms of cooperation, professionalism and an avoidance of gossip about ANYone, no matter who else 'does it'. You're supposed to be too busy for that.

Head high.

Im dealing with a worker like this at the moment..she is bossy, lazy, a suck to the bosses, a backstabber, bitter, sarcastic and just a nasty piece of work. BUT i do know she isn't happy in her personal life and hasn't been for a long time..how do i know?? She has told me.

I have understanding and compassion for others..she was even a good friend who unfortunately turned against me as soon as i didn't do what she wanted. She even went as far as to complain to bosses about me not doing much overtime and wanting them to speak to me about it.

She even went as far as saying i have a bad work ethic..this woman was just a coworker.Nothing more.

Well guess who got promoted? Yes thats right im now her boss, and she hates it and avoids me. She is undermining me by getting workers on side and saying how she would do things differently if she were manager. She is even meaner than before.

I am fair with all employees, because regardless of what happened between us i like to remain professional. That's what I'm paid to do. I don't engage in gossip. I'm too busy working.

I also don't play favourites. Everyone on the team gets rotated around much to some of their disgust.

Im not perfect. I can be abrupt. And i can be moody. But i try my hardest to change for the better without compromising my position.

You should try the same. I know how hard it is believe me. We are in control and they are not. Just remember that.

Im dealing with a worker like this at the moment..she is bossy, lazy, a suck to the bosses, a backstabber, bitter, sarcastic and just a nasty piece of work. BUT i do know she isn't happy in her personal life and hasn't been for a long time..how do i know?? She has told me.

 

I have understanding and compassion for others..she was even a good friend who unfortunately turned against me as soon as i didn't do what she wanted. She even went as far as to complain to bosses about me not doing much overtime and wanting them to speak to me about it.

 

She even went as far as saying i have a bad work ethic..this woman was just a coworker.Nothing more.

 

Well guess who got promoted? Yes thats right im now her boss, and she hates it and avoids me. She is undermining me by getting workers on side and saying how she would do things differently if she were manager. She is even meaner than before.

 

I am fair with all employees, because regardless of what happened between us i like to remain professional. That's what I'm paid to do. I don't engage in gossip. I'm too busy working.

 

I also don't play favourites. Everyone on the team gets rotated around much to some of their disgust.

 

Im not perfect. I can be abrupt. And i can be moody. But i try my hardest to change for the better without compromising my position.

 

You should try the same. I know how hard it is believe me. We are in control and they are not. Just remember that.

Excellent post. Your promotions demo's why it's a waste of your focus and energies to worry and defend against complainers. They reveal themselves to be the problem while you mind your own business and attend to business.

Best of luck in your new position!

Just need some advice,rather than starting a new thread.

I have found out a couple of workers are questioning what i am doing..me, their boss. Saying i do nothing all day to other management. If i say something or have to have a quick chat with someone about something, they question why i am talking to workers .

Management are wrapped with how well i am doing the job and have all told me.

The thing is that the people complaining, had been asked before me if they wanted the job and said no, now that I've accepted it, they all of the sudden want it. They are much older with more experience but i put my hand up for the job that they didn't want, and now they hate me for it.

The most frustrating thing is they will go to my management team around me and accuse me of things that aren't true.

Just wondering what i should do, to make them understand that them trying to undermine me or anyone else,will not be tolerated?

 

Just wondering what i should do, to make them understand that them trying to undermine me or anyone else,will not be tolerated?

How will it not be tolerated? In other words, what actions specifically mean 'undermine' and what would be your plan of action to not tolerate those behaviors?

I'd avoid taking on a policing role. It will burn you out and take on others' problems as your own. Why do that? Complainers are typically transparent. They demo more about their own uncooperativeness than raise any reflection on you. If your bosses allow workers to go over your head and then admonish you rather than hear your side, then that speaks of an environment you cannot control and are better off without. However, if your bosses believe that allowing workers to show their true colors by complaining as they hear you out and then reflect on who the real problems lie with, then allow for that process and do your best work without participating.

You won't win loyalty with threats or attempts to throttle disloyal behavior. If your bosses are worth their salt, they'll weed out the troublemakers eventually, and you'll outlast them. On the other hand, if your bosses buy into the complaints against you rather than use those complaints as food for future termination of the complainers, then you're far better off leaving that environment rather than battling with it.

Allow yourself to learn outcomes, and then you can make better decisions from there.

Head high.

My boss asked me about something someone accused me of. He said i was accused of singling them out. He heard my side and was happy with what i said.

We had a meeting and he said that my reaction is exactly what he wanted to see and hear and he believes me. And he topped that off by saying i am doing a really good job and to keep doing what I'm doing.

I just get frustrated. Thanks for your advice catfeeder you speak a lot of sense.