Confused, would like possible perspectives.

I know this is going to sound petty & trivial well because it is; I do know that however I can't help but feel confused here so I would like some possible perspectives please even though it does seem silly. I have a male best friend. I notice he doesn't "like" any of my pictures on Facebook. Yet when we talk in person, text or on Facebook Messenger he has told me that I am beautiful and far from being ugly in the past at times. Recently, I've told him I notice you like some of your other friend's pictures and he told me, "Yeah but not all." I said in a jokingly manner, "Yeah I'm one of those people," and just let it go to the next topic. Yet I posted some funny pictures of myself just for fun and he "liked" those but not any of me as a normal picture. My hang up here is if he tells I'm beautiful and far from ugly then why can't he "like" a normal photo of me once in a while?? To me, that doesn't make sense.

The questions I know I will be asked here and I will save us both time. No, I DO NOT have romantic feelings for him but it makes me think that by him not "liking" any of my pics on Facebook it makes me wonder if he is lieing or just being nice by not hurting my feelings (when he tells me I am beautiful) cause why else can he like his other friends photos but none of mine.

Yes, I have "liked" a couple of his pictures on Facebook before. Heck he has even came to me showing a new picture of him and asking me what I thought a few times before. I never have done that to him with my pictures. I understand "likes" shouldn't matter all that much but you would think being a close friend you would like their picture once in a while at least. He considers me like a Sister to him he has told me that many times as well so I doubt he has any romantic feelings for me either. It just bothers me because it doesn't make any sense in my mind that he can tell me that but never bother to "like" any of the pictures I post.

No, I don't post selfies every day like some people do out here just for attention or the likes. I post a new pic of me maybe every 3 months or longer than that. I rarely ever post many pictures of myself anyway. I personally find it annoying to see other people post a pic of themselves every day so I don't do that. I guess it just would be nice if he "liked" a picture for once as I have did to him. Lately when he posts a picture I don't like it anymore just simply because he doesn't like any of mine so why should I continue to like any of his? It works both ways.

Does anyone here have another perspective that I may not be seeing or have an idea of why this is?? I'd ask him myself but I don't want to have a fight with him about something as trivial as this. I just would like to gain some different ideas to try to make sense of this. You can spare me the lecture of this being petty I already said I am aware of it. Thanks

Analyzing social media is like studying smoke. (And ruins your neck!)

Do some soul searching and ask yourself why you expect your friends to boost your ego, be your fans and constantly pay attention to your SM. Does anyone tell you what to say or what to 'like" on their SM? Don't strive to win a popularity contests on FB, strive instead to be a sincere friend.

I notice he doesn't "like" any of my pictures on Facebook. Yet when we talk in person, text or on Facebook Messenger he has told me that I am beautiful and far from being ugly in the past at times.It just bothers me because it doesn't make any sense in my mind that he can tell me that but never bother to "like" any of the pictures I post.

If he is really just a platonic friend like you say and only sees you as a sister type, then it makes sense that he doesn't really "see" your pics as something to be liked unless like you said it's something goofy, funny, etc. He is not into you "that" way. That doesn't mean that his compliments to you aren't genuine when they come out of conversation. No doubt he is being genuine, but in a brotherly, platonic kind of way.... Does that make sense?

Also, you may click like on his pics out of manners or friendly support, but don't expect a guy to even think like that.

He may be avoiding a message that speaks of viewing you as more than a friend, so he's erring on the side of being conservative about his attention to your pics.

Do some soul searching and ask yourself why you expect your friends to boost your ego, be your fans and constantly pay attention to your SM. Does anyone tell you what to say or what to 'like" on their SM? Don't strive to win a popularity contests on FB, strive instead to be a sincere friend.

Yes, that is what my counselor is going to help me sort out Wiseman2. That is an excellent question, why do I expect my friends to boost my ego at times? I really don't know how to answer that. I guess it just would be nice to have my friend reciprocate that once in a while by "liking" a picture of mine too. No, nobody tells me what to say or "like" on their SM. I know I can't control what others will do or say on SM or in real life. I guess I just sometimes expect what I give out, to get that returned to me. I always hear what you give out, it will be returned to you or something like that but I guess that quote is not always true.

I do have some self-esteem issues I realize I need to work on and that is why I decided to go to counseling. I think it will help me a lot, but in the meantime I have come here looking for advice until my next appointment. I don't expect my friends to constantly pay attention to my SM we all have lives and other things to do outside of SM. Nor am I doing this for popularity points/contest. I could careless about being popular on SM. I just would like the same attention that I give to this particualr friend. Since I "liked" a few of his pics it just would be nice if he showed that same respect to me. I "liked" them because I thought the picture he posted turned out nice and thought by "liking" it, it would show that kind of support.

Yes, I agree with striving to be a sincere friend. I always believe in becoming a better friend and I'd like to think of myself as a sincere friend. I don't try to do these things for malicious purposes. I'm not trying to hurt anyone or give ill will intent. Sometimes the way I word something may not always come out right that I do admit. Sometimes I have trouble with wording things and it may come off wrong to them but I certainly am not trying to be a crappy friend to my friends. I just ask them things like this cause I would like to get an understanding of it. I have a very curious mind and when someone does or says something that seems odd to me or I don't understand why they do what they do or what they've said; I start to question them about it so that I can get an understanding of it. I was curious why my friend doesn't "like" any of my pics and so I brought it up to him to try to get an understanding. I may have not done it the 'right" way, maybe. It didn't lead to a fight but I stopped myself from that happening by changing the subject cause I didn't want to come off as me telling him what to do or make him feel obligated to like my pictures. I just wanted to know why he doesn't.

He may be avoiding a message that speaks of viewing you as more than a friend, so he's erring on the side of being conservative about his attention to your pics.

Yeah, that could be a possibility catfeeder. Yet, he likes his other friend's pictures but I don't think he likes those friends in that way either. I don't know that for sure though but he usually tells me if he likes a girl or not. Facebook shows you what your friends like and I seen him liking a few of his friends that are girls pictures but he hasn't said if he likes those girls in that way or not. If he doesn't like those girls in that way then this wouldn't be the reason and I would tend to take it personally then and almost comfirming the thoughts I have expressed in my original post.

If he is really just a platonic friend like you say and only sees you as a sister type, then it makes sense that he doesn't really "see" your pics as something to be liked unless like you said it's something goofy, funny, etc. He is not into you "that" way. That doesn't mean that his compliments to you aren't genuine when they come out of conversation. No doubt he is being genuine, but in a brotherly, platonic kind of way.... Does that make sense?

 

Also, you may click like on his pics out of manners or friendly support, but don't expect a guy to even think like that.

Thank you DancingFool yes, it does make sense. I never thought of it that way. Perhaps, you are right.

You're right I do "like" his pics out of manners and friendly support and I do wish he would reciprocate that same respect. But I guess I can't expect a guy to think like that, Lol Darn it.

He may be avoiding a message that speaks of viewing you as more than a friend, so he's erring on the side of being conservative about his attention to your pics.

Yeah, that could be a possibility catfeeder. Yet, he likes his other friend's pictures but I don't think he likes those friends in that way either. I don't know that for sure though but he usually tells me if he likes a girl or not. Facebook shows you what your friends like and I seen him liking a few of his friends that are girls pictures but he hasn't said if he likes those girls in that way or not. If he doesn't like those girls in that way then this wouldn't be the reason and I would tend to take it personally then and almost comfirming the thoughts I have expressed in my original post.

You're overthinking this, and you can do that if you want to make yourself miserable--it's not against the law, it just won't buy you anything.

If he senses that attention to your serious photos could be taken by you the wrong way, he'll be careful not to encourage you that way. If he senses that's not the case with someone else, he won't be so conservative.

Frankly, your oversensitivity is likely what encourages this kind of censorship, and possibly with more people than this guy. I'd do whatever it takes to involve myself with enough positive action and interests to occupy this idle time to dissect people's social media habits. It's not attractive, and it's not healthy.