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Boyfriend has feelings for another girl


Layla3456

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My boyfriend recently told me he told one of his friends that is a girl that he had feelings for her. He told her we broke up because he thought that was the only way she would talk to him. After a few days he cut it off because it was wrong because he was with me and he just wanted to stay friends with this girl. She didn’t really have feelings for him because she recently broke up with her boyfriend and didn’t want anything at the moment. We have been together for over 3 years, but I don’t know if I should try and work things out or end things. He did use to be flirty in high school but till now nothing has gone as far as saying he had feelings for another girl. After he came clean, he told me he wants to work things out and know he was wrong. He said he doesn’t have feelings for her and thinks he just said it in the moment and wasn’t thinking. I am the type to stick it out and try to work things out but I know it will be hard for me to trust him again, but not impossible.

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Sorry to hear this. He may as well put "looking to cheat, you're second best" on a Jumbotron. Please dump him, don't allow yourself to be treated like this or set yourself up for heartache. Never be a martyr in a relationship, who 'sticks out' disrespect such as this.

He told her we broke up because he thought that was the only way she would talk to him.
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Sorry to hear this. What I get from this is that he completely disrespected your relationship by telling another woman you broke up (when you hadn't) and that he had feelings for her. When she did not reciprocate those feelings, he decided to come crawling back and "work it out"

The thing is if she had feelings for him too, he would have either cheated or broke up with you. This will happen again in the future if you stay with him because he lacks integrity and respect in a relationship. Please end it now and find someone who will respect you.

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I would break up with him. He demonstrated that he is capable of deceiving and is ok with risking hurting multiple people at the same time, you AND her. He was willing to cheat on you (in fact he emotionally cheated), he lied to her and tried to make her an unsuspecting participant to cheating. That shows a serious flaw in his personal code of honor. I think that if he was capable of doing so, he cannot be trusted on remain loyal and honest in the long-term. Not to you.

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The only reason he isn't currently cheating on you is because she turned him down. What he did isn't a mistake or an accident. He set out to purposefully mislead her, lie to her about his relationship status in order to get with her. When he failed he came crawling back to you. I would bet that the only reason he is even bothering to tell you about is because he is afraid you'll learn about it through other people. From his perspective, it's better that he gets his spin in first, as in poor little him, he just didn't know what he was doing, all just a big mistake. If you buy his bs, I've got a bridge to sell you.......

 

Working things out is all good and well when you have a partner with basic integrity. This one has shown you that he has none. A case of fool me once shame on you. If you stick around for him to fool you again....well.....that will be on you......

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