Father controlling Mother

Okay so i’m a teenage girl. And i know i’m not supposed to be in my parents marriage but,it’s too late for that. Recently, my brother turned 18 and left the house because my father is crazy. He’s abusive. Verbally and physically. My earliest memory is starting on the couch with my brother and my father was dragging my mom by the hair into the kitchen because she was “running her mouth”. Don’t ask me what happens in the kitchen that day. I honestly don’t know i was about 2 or 3 but, i know it’s nothing good. Anyway, here’s what is going on as you read this. My mom recently got a job in tennessee. And we didn’t tell my dad because we knew he would freak out. (We live in Kentucky) He did flip out. And is totally against it. He told my mom he would never go anywhere with her because he hates her and he has for the past 18 years that they have been married. I’ve told and told my mom that we HAVE to leave him. When my mom went to the job interview for tennessee my dad was supposed to come with us. He didn’t. He got all mad and torn up the day of the interview. He didn’t come because we were “telling him what to do”. All I said was “Can you slow down. You’re gonna make us wreck.” So he flipped his crap and drove back home. We were about 3 min from home and he was driving stupidly. And i called him a butthole and so he came after me like he was going to “spank me” but he started hitting me in the back so i punched him in the stomach and my mom hit him in the back of the head with her fist. He won’t hit my mom anymore because I threatened to tell the police on him. Anyway, he took his car and drove off. But my moms phone was in his truck. So he drove it to my grandmas. Which is my mother’s mom. And my moms car is broken down.

Like a complete system failure type car. And so my mom was shaking and crying because she wanted this job and it was in tennessee. So i had to call and tell my grandma everything and my mom and i drove to tennessee and barley made it on time. We drove my grandmas car. He later drove up that day and found our hotel. I wish i wouldn’t have let him in... my grandma said that this is the last straw but it wasn’t. I let him in and he acted like we were friends and tried to hug me and crap. The 2 days we stayed in tennessee he kissed my moms butt and mine. And said he was going to move to tennessee with ios because he loves her and all this bs. We came back home and drank and drank and drank. For like a week straight and was like “i hate you both. f*** you b****es. yeah my dad called me a female dog. love it. And now he’s still drinking and this was about 3 weeks ago. Our house is up for sale. And a family is thinking about buying it. My mom and I have prayed and prayed for our house to sell so we can leave him. But, i talked to a preacher named Jim Hockaday. You may or may not know him. He’s a big deal to me. Jim gave me a prayer cloth that’s been under my dads been for about 2 months. Jim said that the cloth would make my dad realize what he’s doing to my mom and i and change himself. Or let us go. I told Jim because, my mom loves my father. i have no emotion for him. To me he’s a slob who has no respect for women what so ever and should be behind bars for a long time. But, no. i can’t tell police about my father. In fact, I can’t tell anyone. Only you. But i’m anonymous so you still don’t really know. My mom won’t leave him and i begged and begged her. He won’t apologize to my mom ever. He makes her cry and beg on her knees to forgive her apologizes and it’s disgusting. Please, what do i do. I have to get involved in their relationship. They have already tried to talk to people. But my dad leaves every time the counselor realizes my dad abuses my mother, because he’s embarrassed or guilty, i honesty don’t know. Around both of my parents family he’s fake. He acts like the perfect dad but he’s not. He’s an abusive parent and husband. I can’t tell on him, it would hurt my mom too much. She loves him but hates him. WHAT DO I DO. I’m only 15. I can’t drive away. And my mom won’t let me get a job because she doesn’t want me to save money so we can leave him. It embarrasses her and she just says “no. you’re not gonna do that. it’s gonna be okay. he’ll change some day.” Please give me advice.

Please divide that wall of text into some paragraphs if you want replies!

There’s nothing you can do to force her to leave. You can only control you.

Having been in your shoes I’d get a pt job (maybe she’d let you if she thought it was more for you- like to get out of the house/away from him?) if you can swing it with school and save up towards moving out when you’re 18.

I was in the same boat my entire life aswell. Except it was my mother who was abusive. Shes phsycotic though ans has no idea what she does to people.

My father is weak and doesnt want her to take his money and he feels bad for her even though shes killing him.

As a child all I felt I could do is hold on and wait. So many times I thought of killing her and so many times I thought of killing myself at even a young age. But I couldnt let her win. So I waited it out and left 2 days after grad and havent been back to live since. Its hard but im making it and im happy.

But if you believe your mother would testify against him. Then I would call the police next time theyre in a row. Dont let them know it was you and call secretly. Hopefully hell be taken away and your mother can press charges.

All you can do is look forward. Do not become these people. This is not normal and never let yourself be in the same situation of your mom. Hold on and get a job if you can and try and live as happy as possible. Dont let them ruin you