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Thread: Father controlling Mother

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    Father controlling Mother

    Okay so iím a teenage girl. And i know iím not supposed to be in my parents marriage but,itís too late for that. Recently, my brother turned 18 and left the house because my father is crazy. Heís abusive. Verbally and physically. My earliest memory is starting on the couch with my brother and my father was dragging my mom by the hair into the kitchen because she was ďrunning her mouthĒ. Donít ask me what happens in the kitchen that day. I honestly donít know i was about 2 or 3 but, i know itís nothing good. Anyway, hereís what is going on as you read this. My mom recently got a job in tennessee. And we didnít tell my dad because we knew he would freak out. (We live in Kentucky) He did flip out. And is totally against it. He told my mom he would never go anywhere with her because he hates her and he has for the past 18 years that they have been married. Iíve told and told my mom that we HAVE to leave him. When my mom went to the job interview for tennessee my dad was supposed to come with us. He didnít. He got all mad and torn up the day of the interview. He didnít come because we were ďtelling him what to doĒ. All I said was ďCan you slow down. Youíre gonna make us wreck.Ē So he flipped his crap and drove back home. We were about 3 min from home and he was driving stupidly. And i called him a butthole and so he came after me like he was going to ďspank meĒ but he started hitting me in the back so i punched him in the stomach and my mom hit him in the back of the head with her fist. He wonít hit my mom anymore because I threatened to tell the police on him. Anyway, he took his car and drove off. But my moms phone was in his truck. So he drove it to my grandmas. Which is my motherís mom. And my moms car is broken down.

    Like a complete system failure type car. And so my mom was shaking and crying because she wanted this job and it was in tennessee. So i had to call and tell my grandma everything and my mom and i drove to tennessee and barley made it on time. We drove my grandmas car. He later drove up that day and found our hotel. I wish i wouldnít have let him in... my grandma said that this is the last straw but it wasnít. I let him in and he acted like we were friends and tried to hug me and crap. The 2 days we stayed in tennessee he kissed my moms butt and mine. And said he was going to move to tennessee with ios because he loves her and all this bs. We came back home and drank and drank and drank. For like a week straight and was like ďi hate you both. f*** you b****es. yeah my dad called me a female dog. love it. And now heís still drinking and this was about 3 weeks ago. Our house is up for sale. And a family is thinking about buying it. My mom and I have prayed and prayed for our house to sell so we can leave him. But, i talked to a preacher named Jim Hockaday. You may or may not know him. Heís a big deal to me. Jim gave me a prayer cloth thatís been under my dads been for about 2 months. Jim said that the cloth would make my dad realize what heís doing to my mom and i and change himself. Or let us go. I told Jim because, my mom loves my father. i have no emotion for him. To me heís a slob who has no respect for women what so ever and should be behind bars for a long time. But, no. i canít tell police about my father. In fact, I canít tell anyone. Only you. But iím anonymous so you still donít really know. My mom wonít leave him and i begged and begged her. He wonít apologize to my mom ever. He makes her cry and beg on her knees to forgive her apologizes and itís disgusting. Please, what do i do. I have to get involved in their relationship. They have already tried to talk to people. But my dad leaves every time the counselor realizes my dad abuses my mother, because heís embarrassed or guilty, i honesty donít know. Around both of my parents family heís fake. He acts like the perfect dad but heís not. Heís an abusive parent and husband. I canít tell on him, it would hurt my mom too much. She loves him but hates him. WHAT DO I DO. Iím only 15. I canít drive away. And my mom wonít let me get a job because she doesnít want me to save money so we can leave him. It embarrasses her and she just says ďno. youíre not gonna do that. itís gonna be okay. heíll change some day.Ē Please give me advice.
    Last edited by kamurj; 01-15-2018 at 07:59 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Please divide that wall of text into some paragraphs if you want replies!

  3. #3
    Silver Member Vanishing Girl's Avatar
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    Thereís nothing you can do to force her to leave. You can only control you.

    Having been in your shoes Iíd get a pt job (maybe sheíd let you if she thought it was more for you- like to get out of the house/away from him?) if you can swing it with school and save up towards moving out when youíre 18.

  4. #4

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    I was in the same boat my entire life aswell. Except it was my mother who was abusive. Shes phsycotic though ans has no idea what she does to people.

    My father is weak and doesnt want her to take his money and he feels bad for her even though shes killing him.

    As a child all I felt I could do is hold on and wait. So many times I thought of killing her and so many times I thought of killing myself at even a young age. But I couldnt let her win. So I waited it out and left 2 days after grad and havent been back to live since. Its hard but im making it and im happy.

    But if you believe your mother would testify against him. Then I would call the police next time theyre in a row. Dont let them know it was you and call secretly. Hopefully hell be taken away and your mother can press charges.

    All you can do is look forward. Do not become these people. This is not normal and never let yourself be in the same situation of your mom. Hold on and get a job if you can and try and live as happy as possible. Dont let them ruin you

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