I love her BUT

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months and our relationship is great. We were concerned because we met through work however as we work as freelancers it didn't and doesn't create an issue. Our boss lives like 4000 miles away and if anything we work better together and I've progressed very quickly through the company almost because of my gf..not directly but because its a small international team of 7, my gf has been with the boss the longest and knows everything inside out and they talk daily, as opposed to the rest of us who only talk weekly. Well in spending a lot of time together, I end up talking to the boss a lot, she's gotten to know me and seen more of my abilities etc

ANYWAY the only problem I have is my gfs dog. Now I'm not necessarily a dog lover nor do they bother me. However, her dog seems to be getting under my skin. firstly, the dog pees everywhere, I know it's not her fault because she has some bladder problems where her bladder leaks and she just drips everywhere.

It doesn't help that I'm slightly OCD about cleanliness, but between the peeing, the snoring, the constant need for attention, it's all getting to me. My current issue is trying to get the dog to not sleep with us in the bed. I've literally had to hold the dog back during sex, not cool. But I don't want the dog sleeping with us, which my gf agrees with but I feel like it's only me tries because my gf can sleep through anything, so if I'm pushing the dog off the bed every night well it's me who's sleeping bad.

My gfs ex got her the dog. Well she bugged and bugged her for the dog, my gf didn't actually want the dog because her and her ex had a small apartment and they already had 3 cats and a dog. But her ex was ahuge introvert, leaving the house once every 2 weeks and never for anything social so for her it made sense to have a new dog since they were already home. When they split up, they split the animals and that's how my gf got Billie.

Me and my gf travel a lot, in the past 4 months we've done Romania twice, Spain, Italy, London three times and with V day coming up and my bday and we have a 2 week work US trip... each time the dog goes to stay with the ex. Oh ANDD in April we plan on travelling full time, spending 3 months at a time in a location and then moving.

It has crossed her mind and even her mum has told her that maybe its in the dogs best interest to be with the ex... but she feels like...for 6 years when she was with her ex and things were bad..basically they turned into recluses, my gf moved to Portugal to live with her ex, gave up on her family, knew no one nor the language and was basically depressed... her animals were the ones who were there for her. so she literally says to me "It's not fair on them that I give them up now, just because I have a new exciting life" but of course it's driving me a little insane.

Even the simplest things like her dog drools a lot, it's like I don't want that saliva on me...

Am I a jerk?

Knowing what breed the dog is might help in giving you an answer, but I would be concerned because of all the travel you're doing. The poor dog won't know where its owner is or whether she's coming or going. It's not fair to the dog. Dogs like stable environments and all the peeing might have a little to do with the dog being nervous and afraid of its owner leaving. When I had a dog, he was a companion dog and had great separation anxiety if we left him too long. So if we couldn't take him on vacation with us, we just didn't go. It wasn't fair to him.

I think it's selfish of your girlfriend to want to hang onto her dog if she's not going to be around to be with it. I would use that argument, not the one that you're a clean nut. Rather, you want what's best for the dog.

Knowing what breed the dog is might help in giving you an answer, but I would be concerned because of all the travel you're doing. The poor dog won't know where its owner is or whether she's coming or going. It's not fair to the dog. Dogs like stable environments and all the peeing might have a little to do with the dog being nervous and afraid of its owner leaving. When I had a dog, he was a companion dog and had great separation anxiety if we left him too long. So if we couldn't take him on vacation with us, we just didn't go. It wasn't fair to him.

 

I think it's selfish of your girlfriend to want to hang onto her dog if she's not going to be around to be with it. I would use that argument, not the one that you're a clean nut. Rather, you want what's best for the dog.

the dog is a french bulldog and I believe the peeing has something to do with a bladder problem. She just drips pee everywhere she goes, the vet said she has no control of it and the only way to fix it would be through surgery. The situation is just really getting to me now. We were at her place for a night before the dog came back and I couldn't help but notice the shift in my mood from before and after the dog came back... however

last night once the dog was back, my gf said to me, she's thinking about giving the dog to her ex because again the ex never leaves the house or does anything and these animals are truly her world. When her ex was arranging what time to drop the dog, she purposely asked if it could be later so that she could spend more time with the dog... whereas my gfs reaction was sure keep them, I can do more things around the house! which to my gf means the ex is like extra in love with the animals so they might be better with her.

Also in Feb/ March its going to be like 3 trips back to back where we'll keep the dog a couple days then the ex has them for a week etc...

I SOOO want to say, its not fair on the dog, let her stay with the ex... but I've been vocal about how I feel about the dog so I don't wanna come across biased.

To be fair I have tried..I've taken the dog with us on road trips to see what shes like in new places.. she threw up in my car twice.. I really do try and I've come so far but its just certain things I can't let go of

I think it's fine that it's not your thing. The dog is like a child/family member to her and she's chosen her priorities as far as having the dog stay with her not her ex, not having the surgery for the peeing problem, etc. It wouldn't be ok with me either. It reminds me of when a good friend of mine wanted my husband and I to meet her new boyfriend. Our son was 2 and we were staying far from our home . I wasn't comfortable getting a sitter and offered that my husband and I could meet them at the lovely restaurant down the street and sort of rotate and perhaps they could come over for dessert (but be on the quieter side since our son would be close by sleeping). That wasn't ok with her. She also wanted us to bring the baby to her house for a dinner and put him in another room at her house to sleep. That wasn't going to work for us so we didn't go. I'm pretty sure our "inflexibility" was a factor in the friendship starting to fade, etc. This is analogous -she's drawn her line in the sand with respect to her "baby" -you take it or leave it. My friend couldn't relate to our parenting choices and you can't relate to hers (neither can I). It sounds like it's not a healthful or pleasant situation for you. Tell her that - tell her you respect her standards and you have your own, too. In a pleasant way. It's ok that you're biased.

French bulldogs are lapdogs. They require close companionship and can easily have separation anxiety. That's why the dog appears to be "needy."

She needs to do what's best for the animal, and Traveling is difficult for dogs- especially a frenchie. If she wants to do excessive traveling - before settling down - then she needs to give the dog up to someone who has the time to care for one. Or cut back on traveling plans. By the end of the day she needs to be the responsible dog owner and make decisions in the best interest of her pet.